Can you do what Cali just did? I'm not talking about the specifics of whereshe went, what she wore, or the repeating the exact questions she asked.Can you stay in control, set the tempo, remain offensive, peel a man'slayers back to reveal him as a turn-off or even more of a turn on, seducehim, and then walk away without compromising that control? Sounds like alot, but it's easy. None of these things requires being overly intelligent oreven quick witted. It's as simple as a job interview. As the employer youknow what kind of employee you need, you go in with a list of qualities,and you hit each point throughout the evening by using indirect questions.I'm going to recap the big points you need to hit once again, but this time, Iwill use your own self-doubt to show you how easy it is to dominate anyman on your first date.
Date Goal: Be Sexy
Rebuttal: But I'm Not Sexy
If you don't see yourself as anything special, then why the fuck wouldanyone else? I'm not promoting unrealistic thoughts like "all women areequally pretty," I'm promoting realistic thoughts that you aren't competingwith other women of the world, only the woman looking back at you in themirror. Your feelings on your reflection are the only thing you need to winover. The goal isn't to hold yourself up against Scarlett Johansson and takea poll of who men think looks the best. The goal is to appreciate your brandof sexy. Not every woman has a Spartan mindset when it comes to theirphysical appearance, it may be one of the hardest things to develop, but itmust be done. If you haven't mastered Chapter V, then what are you doingthis far into the book? Just reading? Seeing what bits you can take to use inyour non-Spartan typical life? Stop it! Being unhappy with your looks willsabotage this entire mission because you will feel awkward instead of sexy.When you feel awkward, you hold back. When you hold back, you comeoff as basic. We do not date with that weak outlook on physical appearance,so no matter how long it takes for you to fall in love with that person staringback at you in the mirror, hold off on dating, and put in that time!The first thing Cali hit on day one was her look. In terms of the actualoutfit, Cali dressed in a way that made her sexiness obvious, tight clothes,tall heels, boobies sitting in a way that says, "I'll breastfeed you, daddy."That was on purpose. Cali knows how her body looks, she accentuated thepositives and hid those parts she is still trying to chisel, but if she were tocheck a mirror, all she would see was a bad bitch. You project what youfeel, which is why you must pre-plan the outfit so you aren't 15 minutesbefore the date hating what's looking back at you in the mirror. Somewomen dress for a date the same way they dress for a hangout session witha book club, and then proclaim, "This is me, love it, or leave it." That's acop out. Dressing in a way that makes you feel like a Queen is just asimportant as acting like a Queen. Key word being "you." I don't want yourushing out and buying some Instagram boutique thot dress because youthink men want that, forget the men, it's about you expressing your ownversion of sexy. When you look in that mirror with the clothes you think arecute enough to hang with Karen, that isn't the same feeling you get whenyou look in the mirror wearing an outfit you would rock to Diddy's party.For those of you who aren't Fashionistas don't skip this step because youdon't want to invest time and money into dressing up. It's just a date, butyou need your armor to say, Slayer not Sister.
Makeup products are at an all-time high, not because women need itmore than any other time in history, it's because just like cell phones, theinnovations being done are incredible. Do not think of makeup as hiding. Ifyou have bags under your eyes that you hate or scars that take your ownopinion down a notch, cover it! If that gets you mentally where you need tobe on this date, use it because your own mind is where the battle takesplace. However, don't use makeup as a crutch. If you're only coveringthings for fear of a man's opinion knowing that your blemishes don't botheryou or that your nose being contoured doesn't make you feel any different,then you're placating. If you are comfortable in your skin then show upwithout the concealer because if you love it, fuck what he thinks. This isyou 24-7, so it is better that he sees it now, than be surprised later. The pointis to be armed for that first date with a look that makes you as confident aspossible, but that real confidence should already be in place.
Date Goal: Protect Your Privacy
Rebuttal: I Want Him to Pick Me Up
A big rule my female friend has is, "No man is seeing my crib, I don't knowif he's crazy yet." That's a great rule because access to someone's home canlead to problems if the date doesn't go well and your suitor isn't mentallystable. I'm not talking just in terms of violence but in terms of stalking,which happens often when a man won't get the hint. If you have a car, it'sbetter to meet up at the location. Spending money on gas is a small price topay for privacy. Someone popping up on you because you block them afterthe first or second date is not a situation that I want any woman toexperience. Some of you live in cities where you don't need cars to get towork; others don't have vehicles in the budget. Don't feel ashamed if youdo not have a car. Cali's example shows you how easy it is to date minuswheels. A lot of dating anxiety comes from women not feeling as if they areon a level where a man would want them in terms of money and possession.A man won't care if you don't have a car unless he's a bum without his ownvehicle looking to get rides or a cheapskate who doesn't want to spend hisgas money. Don't let insecurities force you to refuse a date because youdon't have transportation. Taxis are in every city. Uber is even cheaper.Having a friend drop you off doesn't make you look young. These arealternatives that protect your home life, so don't feel ashamed.
Let's say you do have a car, but you prefer the man to come pick youup like in an episode of Family Matters. Cool! You don't have to beprotective of your address if that's not your personality. I don't want tomake it seem as if all men are going to be waiting to Sharon Tate you thenight after your date. There are more sane people than lunatics, so if you arecomfortable and prefer the traditional, "Meet me at my address, bringflowers" method you are allowed to do that. In this case, the only thing thatchanges is that you don't arrive late and see how he responds to waiting.When he arrives at your house, be ready. This isn't prom; he doesn't have topark, come in, and talk to your parents. This man may not make it to asecond date, so avoid any family or roommate introductions that don't haveto be made. He can meet you at the door, walk you to his car, open the door,and drive off. Treat actual entry to your house, apartment, dorm room,trailer, or wherever you live, as special. A man only enters if he earns itlater on, not the first night because he has to use the bathroom.
Date Goal: Break the Ice
Rebuttal: But How Do I Break the Ice If...
There are dozens of different date scenarios that don't have a clear start likethe beginning of a meal. Even at a dinner date, it may not be in yourcharacter to create a fun game like, "guess my order for a treat." Before weget into variations of how to break the ice, understand why you must breakthe ice. As a man that's been on various levels of dates, from girls that Iwanted more than oxygen to girls that were only pussy, there is alwaysnerves on a man's end, no matter how cool he seems. A man that thinks youmay be "The One" is just as masked as a man trying to fuck and fallback.Removing that mask by taking things from formal to casual early on willhelp make it easier for him to open up.
Even if you talked when you first exchanged numbers and talkedwhen setting the date, you are still strangers. One woman spent an hour at abarbecue talking to a guy, and then their actual date was horribly dry. Forsome reason, the conversation wasn't as flowing as when they first met.Don't get cocky and think that the date is just a continuation of what youtalked about when you first exchanged numbers. The stakes have changed,He doesn't know what you really think of him, therefore, he has to come offthe best way possible to either get sex or get you on his team.
Who is this woman, and how do I act around her to impress her?That's the anxiety that men don't talk about because they have to seem as ifthey are cooler than a cucumber in Calgary. Just like Cali put Stephen atease before digging into his psyche, you have to literally make that man feelas if he has nothing to worry about while still using that nervous energy asfuel for you to tease him. A great dentist develops a gift for chitchatbecause a comfortable patient allows a dentist to stick that needle in theirmouth without even realizing they were being suckered into opening wide.You are about to molest a man's brain, so put him at ease. Improvising willbe a big part of any date, so be prepared to break the ice no matter thesetting. Let's go back to the scenario where your date picks you up fromhome. If it's about twenty minutes to get to the restaurant, then that'stwenty minutes you use to break the ice. Don't sit there listening to musictalking about how your day went, that's nothing more than pleasantries."Do you let women drive your car and by women I mean me later tonight?"That gets him talking and smiling. You don't want to drive his car, andyou're not going to drive it, it's just something fun to say to get him looseabout a subject most men enjoy--cars. If you two are at a bowling alley justdrinking, then break the ice by giving the game stakes like, "Loser has togive a lap dance to the winner right in front of all these people." You twocould meet at a park to walk and grab a snack, use your environment tospark an initial silly conversation that shows him this isn't some seriousmeeting. There is no such thing as being too goofy because as theconversation continues you will show your serious side. Walking throughthe park and asking to hear his best Squirrel Call doesn't make you seemcrazy, it lets him know that it's okay to drop his cool and relax.Environment observations may not work; if this is the case thenobserve each other's outfits, hair, accessories, and break the ice that way. Ifyou're wearing something revealing, don't let it be an elephant in the room.If the girls are being displayed with insane cleavage, own up to it, "If onepops out, will you tell me or just throw it back in the shirt?" If you have awagon behind you, don't make it awkward, you already know he sees allthat ass, so make it fun. "If my dress gets stuck in my booty, you havepermission to pull it out." It's all about making the mood light, so hedoesn't feel like a stranger.
These same tactics work when going from a guy that's toolighthearted and you're trying to get him to take you seriously. Most menare jokers by nature, so if you have a guy that's being overly clownish to tryand win you over, let him know it's okay to drop the Kevin Hart shtick.Let's say that you are grabbing cocktails with a guy that is hitting you withjoke after joke, trying way too hard to tickle your funny bone. Counter thathumor with something real. "I bet you're the type that only calls his motheronce a week," he'll joke that he calls her so much that she threatened toblock him. Follow up and ask about that relationship, how they get along.Things like family are serious, and even a clown will take off his red noseto tell you that his mother has been his rock or to regret that he and hismother don't get along. The Icebreaking doesn't always need to be silly itcan also be heartfelt. If this man says he and his mother don't talk, don'tbring up the trauma, show him that it's all good, "Her loss, more of yourtime for me, right?" If you see an opportunity to connect and be a friend, gofor it in a warm way. Show him through your attitude that he doesn't needto try so hard to be hilarious, that he can be free to be a bit more real.There will always be an opportunity within the first ten minutes tobreak a man from his cool. I could list example after example to use, butyou shouldn't be on a script. This is the one part where you will have toimprovise because you never know what type of date you will be on or hispersonality type. Trust in your confidence, be comfortable, and that willcreate a relaxed atmosphere. There is no right or wrong. A man notresponding to your icebreaker in the way you imagined is not failing at thistask, because either way you reveal his personality. You try to joke, and hedoesn't laugh. You try to be serious and he still brings it back to jokes. Thatreveals who he is! Go for it, commit to your icebreaking idea, and thenmake a mental note of his reaction because it can and will be used later on.
Date Goal: Stay Sharp
Rebuttal: I Love to Drink
Drinking calms nerves, unwinds, and drops inhibitions in a short period. Italso slows thoughts and disrupts your focus. What's more important, feeling"nice" or being on your A game? This isn't a social visit with an old friend,a celebration with girlfriends, or any other excuse to get buzzed. This manis a stranger who you're trying to unravel by using your wits, why the hellwould you want to dull them. I get it, drinking is fun and you can hold yourliquor no matter if you're taking shots of Tequila or sipping glasses ofProsecco. Don't get cocky. Although you may not be the type of chick thatwould ever get thot sloppy in front of new company, the real damage comeswhen you start feeling warm, he starts smiling hard, and the pleasure side ofthe brain gets you open. Instead of being on offense, you're now on defenseas he distracts you from your mission in order to bring you back to theworld of a typical date, where he sets the questions and controls the sexualinnuendo. Next thing you know you're talking too much about your lastdate and hinting about the last guy that broke your heart.
Guys love getting women to drink because most become flirtier andbehave more sexual. Additionally, it clouds your logic, which includes thepart you need to figure out if he's full of shit or not. The representativemask he's wearing doesn't get tested. All he has to do is keep you drinkingand keep you talking, and by the end of the date you'll be happy with thetime you had. In reality, it wasn't a great date, you were just tipsy andeverything is a good time when you're loaded. No matter how much youstudy this section, understand that you may be one and a half drinks fromtransforming back to that girl who talks too much about shit that doesn'tmatter. Talking about guys that did horrible things to you in the past. Goingon and on about how you hate dating and just want a relationship but can'tfind a good man. You may even end up letting him feel you up, kiss all overyou, or worse. Don't become some pathetic half-drunk that exposes herflaws because she can't say "no" to alcohol. The risk is not worth the high.
Date Goal: Don't Pay for Shit
Rebuttal: I Feel Guilty Spending a Man's Money
Cali's date didn't show any internal dialogue about what to order or if sheshould have been prepared to offer money if the check came and he askedher to put in. Spartans don't think about money, they expect what they wantto be paid for, to have free range to order whatever is on the menu, andknows that any man who objects to any of those things is automaticallydisqualified from a second date. Let me delve into it regardless becausewho pays has become a touchy subject. You are the woman, even if youpushed for the date and set up the date, you don't take a man out, that mantakes you out. You were the one who said, "Hey, let's meet at CheesecakeFactory, when you get off work," so fucking what--he still pays. This is abig issue today as men look to use the idea of equality to be cheap ordownplay the tradition of being a gentleman. Woman and men are equal,and a woman doesn't need a man to do anything for her that she can do onher own. However, we're not talking about workplace politics or socialdynamics. We are focused on courting, and in terms of romance, traditionslike a man opening a door, treating a woman on that date, and getting downon one knee to propose, stand the test of time no matter how independentthe woman. When he becomes your boyfriend, that makes him a partner,and then the idea of taking turns or even treating can be discussed, but atthis stage the first date, your purse doesn't open!When a man wants a woman, the effort will always come off aseffortless! There is no debate about price. If he takes you to a movie, hepays for both tickets. If he takes you to a dinner, he pays for that meal andhe had better leave a good tip. If he takes you Go Kart racing, he buys thoselaps. Not because he's trying to buy pussy or a kiss at the end of the night,but because he sees you as a beautiful woman and wants to express hisappreciation. It may appeal to your nurturing side to help in some way toshow him you aren't a Ho or some broke chick that wants to eat on a man'sdime. Stop feeling as if you need to contribute! There's a sense of guilt thatsome women have, even when they aren't using a man for food or companybecause they feel as if he will eventually expect something in return. Youlike him, but you may not even reward him with a kiss at the end of thenight, which will make him upset and feel lead on. That onus makes youfeel as if you're doing something trifling. He's taking you on a date, notgiving you a kidney! Men are motivated by sex, but that doesn't mean yougo Dutch to avoid owing him sex. Even if you pay on the date he's stillgoing to try for it, and you may still sleep with him. In the end, you justpaid for half your date and gave up all your pussy. Who wins? A man whoonly wants to trick in order to get a treat, won't last more than a few dates.The objective is to weed men like these out, not help them low ball you. Allyou will ever owe a man is your company. Be comfortable in the role as aprize, not apologetic.
To date a guy whom you don't find attractive, or feel sparks with,would be using a man just for company or a free meal. In this case, there isan attraction; he has a shot at winning you over, so erase that weak bitchthought that you're a "bad girl" for ordering a $40 entree and not puttingtwenty up. You deserve to be treated. If you act low maintenance, youbecome low maintenance, and you will never raise above that in his mind.Don't believe me? Go test it out. Offer to buy the popcorn because he gotthe tickets. Pay the tip because he treated you to a meal. The first round ofdrinks was on him, the next is on you. Watch how that becomes thestandard for the rest of the relationship. A man doesn't think, "oh she'shelping out," he thinks, "Oh she's got me." Eventually, he stops offering topay, not to take advantage, but because that's what you seem to want.You don't have to prove that you're an independent woman with herown money, he needs to prove that he sees a Queen worth spoiling. Stoptrying to show that you have it to spend, and allow him to show that hebelieves in you enough to spend! You don't train an employee on the cashregister, then say, "Do the first five customers, I'll do the next five," Youshow them what is to be expected by letting them do their job. Train thatman to date you as if you are special, not some Go Dutch Diane, and watchhow that treatment translates to other areas of the relationship. You can'tpromote yourself as a prize then give a man a discount. Set your price onthe first date and keep it high.
Date Goal: Let Him Talk
Rebuttal: But the Conversation Stalls
Shut up and listen. That's the best advice anyone could ever give you aboutlife in general, but how many of you actually do this? I was at mygrandmother's house and both of my aunts came into the living room to talkto me. They asked me a question about Los Angeles, and by the time I washalfway through my answer, one aunt was talking about something sheheard about LA on TV. Before she could complete that mini-story, my otherAunt interrupted her and brought up her co-worker's husband's opinion onLA. What followed was two grown women talking above each other aboutsomething they wanted me to talk about. My Granny looked over to me andgave a slight eye roll. That is the habit of many women, young and old.They want to be heard, more than they want to listen. When you're on adate, you don't want to be boring or seem too shy. However, the alternativeisn't to just keep talking.
Most women who over-talk do so because they have all this stuffbottled up that they never get to talk about. I did this... I'm the type that... Ionce went... That wouldn't have been me because I... Let me tell you what Iwould have done if... I know a person who... Folks love to turn otherpeople's stories and anecdotes back on themselves based on pure ego. Don'tbe the woman that stops a man mid-story when he's talking about Cancun,to say, "Oh, I went there too, I loved it. We stayed at..." He doesn't give afuck. A man is trying to share his experience with you. That experiencecould reveal character traits about him if you listen. If you hijack his story,then he shuts up and lets you go on about your experience. Now, instead ofletting him open up and share, it becomes a trip comparison as opposed to acharacter study. There will be a time to interject your own life story later,but never do it at the expense of your mission. The following chapter goesinto the ends and outs of asking random or indirect questions in the sameway that Cali used to open Stephen up. For now, let's focus on the silencethat may set in on your date if you ask a question that doesn't warrant along response. Remember that men like to talk too! If you haven'texperienced this in your life, then you probably talk too damn much anddon't promote an environment where guys feel comfortable talking to you. Ihave a friend who is very quiet and laid back, but ask him about 90's hip-hop and he will not only talk about that subject, he will engage others abouttheir opinions, sometimes to debate, sometimes to listen. His introvertedside fades away the moment you give him a bone he likes to chew on.Every man has a trigger that will cause him to open up, and it's your job tofind it.
The steps that I'm telling you to do on a date, men do these thingsnaturally, which is why they end up getting easy pussy without everopening up their own lives. The best Dick Tactic is, "Let her talk." Oncea man sets a woman off about her ex-boyfriend, her job, her family, evenher opinion on Kim Kardashian, she will go on and on and on...and it takesthe pressure off of him to impress. 9 out of 10 of you reading this could dateyourself, that's how much you talk. Meaning that you go out, a guy askssome trivial questions, tells a joke or two, and then triggers a big issue thathas you reading your biography. A girl will go back home after the date andbe on cloud nine, "Oh he understood me," he didn't understand shit; all hedid was nod his head in a positive direction while you talked and talked andtalked. When you came up for air with a, "So what do you think," all he hadto do was check you with a, "You were right, I don't know why they treatedyou like that...you still talk to them?" That sends you back into more of thesame story that no one gives a fuck about. A woman won't realize this, shewill only remember that a man was receptive to her tales, and attribute thatto her being so interesting...there was nothing interesting said, he's playingthe same role I'm attempting to get you to now play.
Here's a real life example. I have a friend who was nervous about adate where he and this extremely pretty girl had agreed to get drinks. Thisgirl lives in LA and is what people call "internet famous" because of herlooks. I told my buddy the same thing I'm telling you: Let them do thetalking and see how much they love you by the end of the night for lettingthem talk. My friend asked two questions that night, one regarding the girl'sson and the other about the last guy she was dating. The son question onlylasted for a few minutes, most likely because she didn't want to bring herlittle boy up and begin to miss him, or make herself seem un-sexy becausehere she is a mom on a date talking about mom things. The conversation hita hiccup, the son inquiry went nowhere, and it left my friend staring at hisdrink struggling to come up with something witty to say. He later told methat I popped up in his head like Obi-Wan Kenobi, and he actually thought,"NC would say something crazy."
He did just that, I can't remember the specific question he asked but itrevolved around her last relationship. The mood changed instantly. This girlpoured out her feelings on that last breakup, transitioned into modern menwanting to be your boyfriend physically but not in title, and then by thetime the drinks kicked in she was even talking about how the sex was weakbut the head made her cum. They literally went from uncomfortable silenceto her sharing stories about what it takes to make her orgasm. By the end ofthe night, my friend had his hands on her ass, telling her how he would treather better than her ex. His game was not built on anything he said, it wasbuilt on him listening to see what this woman needed out of life, noddinghis head in agreement, and then once her guard was down, he invaded herpersonal space and made her feel special.
This is what most men do. They shut up and listen! As a result oflistening, they figure out the best way to endear themselves to that woman.By the time a woman goes home, she's under the impression that she founda man that gets her, is sweet, and also inspiring. All based on him listeningand feeding her what she wanted to hear in terms of, "That's fucked up...Ican't believe he did that...then what happened...that dude's crazy; I wouldnever have reacted like that." Two hours of feeling as if a man understandsyou equates to a strong emotional bond. He looked good, he took you out,and he was easy to talk to... Check. Check. Check! This is perfect! Youfound Mr. Right, drop the balloons, and unfreeze your eggs! In reality, youjust went on a date with yourself, and this man didn't prove a damn thing.All you wanted was a therapy session that ended with someone kissing yourneck and telling you how sexy you are. This is basic game that thesepeasants let men get away with every day. That is not how a Spartan dates!A Spartan uses that same technique and flips it back on the man, becausewhile men know how it looks to pull it off, they have no clue how it lookswhen it's being pulled on them.
When you attempt to spark conversations with a new person, you mayhit a roadblock where your first question misses and reveals nothing. Don'tchoke and go on the defensive. If there is an awkward silence, a man willpick up the ball and begin to ask you questions because he's alreadyexperienced at getting females to talk about things typical females love totalk about. Don't let a drop in conversation serve as a change in whocontrols the dialogue. Let's say that you two have a good laugh aboutsomething fun, then after that laughter, it's quiet. He asks you about the lasttime you went on a date. How do you respond? Tina Typical will go intodetail breaking down the guy, the date, how she felt, and forty minutes laterwhen she finishes her dissertation; he has enough knowledge to push moretriggers that keep her yapping. This is Sparta, therefore, you respond with,"It wasn't that interesting actually. Oh! Tell me the worst date you've everbeen on." That's how you redirect a question and get him talking againabout something that could be fun for him but also revealing. The samething goes for general conversation. Let's say your topic of Lil Waynedoesn't go anywhere. Grab his hand. "Let me see your thumbs...too soft.You must not have grown up a gamer. I was the Queen of Goldeneye." Ifhe's a video game geek, he will go HAM trying to dismiss your diss. If hewas never into games, he'll tell you what he spent his free time doinginstead. Be ready to flow from topic to topic, like a professional. That'show you control these men even when faced with a drop off inconversation.
Date Goal: End the Date on a High
Rebuttal: He Asks Me to Pay Half
By the time the check comes, you should be on a high. You did all the stepsright and he responded like a man you can grow to really like. UnlikeStephen, however, he doesn't grab the bill to pay. He looks at you. Maybeyou were the one to ask him on a date, and he thought you were going topay based on that assumption. Maybe he's used to going Dutch. Maybeyou're dealing with, "Damn, my wallet is at home," guy. No matter thereason, the result is that when the check comes and you tell him thank you,he asks for some kind of money from you...What to do?Pay it. There is no need to argue your stance on how men should dothings. I don't care if he sticks you with the entire bill or just the tip. Keepyour cool and smile as you slide your card or cash in the fold. Internally, hehas now committed suicide. RIP, because this dude is officially dead to youonce you leave that restaurant. In the end, he revealed how much he valuesa woman like you. You may think that it's better to explain that you don'tpay on dates, to give him a chance to redeem himself. Ignorance does notfactor into the equation. Every man knows how to treat a woman, everysingle one. He's not asking for money because he's untrained, he's askingfor money because you're the same as the rest. He chose to try you the firstdate as if you are one of these basic women--he has the wrong one!Couples go Dutch when they are in a relationship. Platonic friends goDutch. When a friend treats you, it's always proper to offer the tip. If thiswas a man that had treated you spectacularly over the course of three dates,you pick up the bill on the forth to show him your appreciation. This is notone of those scenarios, this is a man that wants to be your man, and shouldhave stepped up as such. I bought you a drink now buy my drink? Is hecrazy? I paid for these movie tickets now buy me some snowcaps. The fuck?This is the first date, even if he doesn't normally pay the entire bill, this isthat exception. It's not about his budget, it's about him checking you inorder to put you in place. Even if he looks up surprised at the bill, or says hewill pay you back, understand that a man always knows what he's doing. Ionce went to a business dinner with a company that wanted to work withme. When the bill came I reached into my pocket, the President looked atme and said, "Don't disrespect us." There is proper etiquette in business,and there is proper etiquette in dating--the one seeking the services pays.In romance that is always the man, thus, the man always pays. Never allowa man to guilt you into thinking any different or let some faux-feministconvince you that you should pay half to endear yourself. This isn't HoTactics hustle where you have to sucker a man by treating him to things toset him up for the hit, this is romance. Refusing to treat you 100% is nothow a man gets a second date, it's how he gets the Ax. Pay what he asksyou to pay, no fuss. Then block him on the way home. No exceptions.
Date Goal: Seduce
Rebuttal: I Will End Up Sleeping with Him
If a man doesn't see you as sex, then there is no hope for anything serious.The way in which you seduce lets a man know if he has a shot at you or ifhe should leave now before he ends up in the friendzone. Men are a mass ofinsecurities because even the most attractive or wealthy man has eithermisread a female's signs or been played by a woman. If you don't havesexual chemistry, don't go on the date. If you do feel him on that level,project it on that first date. A little flirting will inspire a lot of lust.The simplest part of a man to exploit is his dick, and no greatromance ever began with a man feeling a lot of respect but very little lustfor a woman he's courting. The idea that it's somehow counterproductive tocome off as a sexual object is 4+4=9--false! I have seen the internet try tobrainwash women into being less sexual as if being in touch with yoursexuality automatically gets you labeled a whore. Understand the varyingdegrees of slut shaming. Another woman doesn't want you to be too sexybecause you are competition, so they judge and throw shade in order tokeep you acting conservatively. A man that can't have you doesn't wantyou to act too sexy because it's a tease that reminds him that he's not goodenough. When society makes showing too much skin, making a sexual joke,or even rubbing a man's foot under the table into an act of Old Testamentdebauchery, women develop a complex and hold back. When you hold backfrom your true nature you come off as cold, prudish, and boring. Fuck that.No man has ever sat across from a woman that's dressed sexy and said,"This is too much for me, I wish she wore a sweater." No man has everthought of a girl as sweet and then was turned off because she playedfootsies under the table. No man has ever heard a sexual innuendo andthought, "What a disgusting freak!" Men love a woman that's comfortablein her skin and willing to be a little dirty in her conversation. The onlyinstance where I have ever been personally turned off by a woman has beensex bragging. When a female lists her sex skills in a way that tells you thatshe gives even the non-exclusive lovers all her dirty deeds, it makes a manfeel like just another John. Men like to chase, to earn, to feel exclusive.The mystery of your sex life, is much more enticing than promotingyour skills. You have a vagina; men don't need any more reason than that tolust after you. Pussy propaganda is ratchet in every sense of the word andreeks of insecurity. You orgasm while giving head, your ex said you had thebest oral technique ever, you're flexible enough to do tricks on the dick...none of that should be shared during the first date. If you volunteer thatinformation to him, you volunteer it to all men because sex talk is yourcrutch. You're the dating equivalent of a girl tweeting, "I just got out of theshower, and I don't feel like getting dressed." You are thirst trapping and heknows it! A Spartan doesn't need to put sex skills on her resume becauseshe's not selling pussy, she's selling personality.
There does need to be some dirty talk or sensual flirting, but there isan art to seduction. Let a man think of you as sex by wearing an outfit thatmakes you feel sexy. On a date, sit next to him or get close enough, so hecan smell your perfume and brush against your skin. When talking,emphasize certain words like you're Marilyn Monroe, but also touch anarm, hand, or knee, to get him worked up. None of this compromises yourvirtue, it's just flirting. In terms of being a cock tease, who cares. Men loveto be teased when the woman teasing them is accessible. He has to believethat he will one day fuck you, or why date you. Don't worry about how hewill perceive your seduction. Are you easy? Clearly you aren't becauseyour panties will remain up at the end of the night and your hands normouth will touch his dick. You can be provocative all night, but leave himwithout doing anything sexual; that earns his respect. Unleash your innerGypsy Rose Lee, and seduce with the knowledge that less is more.
Seduction is a double-edged sword. It's not just the man you areturning on, you also risk getting yourself worked up, and those hormonescan lead to a mistake being made. Dick Discipline for women is harder thanmen understand. You may fall on the side of the coin where you won't havesex because you require an emotional connection, not physical chemistry.That other side of the coin is one where discipline depends on the man infront of you. Let's be honest, you are a sexual being with needs that avibrator can't satisfy. You see a handsome man, and your mind can't helpbut go to a filthy place. What does his dick look like? Does he fuck gentlyor is he rough and aggressive? You visualize his face between your legs,you gripping his skull, guiding him to your spot. You picture your mouthwrapped around his dick, the sounds you can force him to make before heerupts. Your vagina is wet more times throughout the day than anyone willever know, and the secret that you're holding onto is that you have thepower to fuck whoever you want whenever you want to. All pussy may becreated equal but you throw yours like Hera! An emotional connection ispreferred, but having a good date is enough proof that he's worthy enoughto get all the freakiness you've been holding in. Seduction is verbalforeplay, a little physical touch, maybe even a kiss...you know men havezero discipline but will you buckle sexually while playing your own game?You can fake seduction like when a Hooters waitress flirts with hercustomer to get a better tip or like a stripper pushes up on a fat guy in orderto get him into the champagne room. The Ho Tactics role-playing jobdoesn't apply to real dates because you won't be acting to get a mark open,as I wrote earlier, this is honest sexual chemistry that you're playing upon.To flirt for real will take your mind and body to the point where you areimagining all the things you can do with your date. Your mind may bepatient, but your hormones have ADD. "Should I fuck him...? I mean he'sdoing everything right, and I would like some dick." Or maybe you runfrom your thoughts like a teenage girl, trying to disown them, push them tothe back of your mind, only to end up with him making a move and yougiving in because every part of you wants to fuck. You have to checkyourself and show dick discipline! One good date is not enough to breakyour dick diet. Sex does not ruin the dating process if you are mentallystrong enough to play the post-sex game and continue to vet him. However,I'm going to insist that you hold off on complicating things with sex at thisstage. Sex on the first date is another monster with other steps that need tobe laid out and hit, so, for now, act as if that isn't an option at all. I repeat,do not have sex at this point! You have to go home alone.
How do you walk away? Let's say you two are in the parking lot,he's walked you to your car. Like Cali waiting for the Uber, you take thistime to get closer to him and mind-fuck him with a tight hug while youcontinue to talk. That man isn't going to walk away when you say, "okay,let me get in the car." He's going to say all kinds of shit to keep you in hisarms. He's going to offer all kinds of incentives for you to follow him backto his crib or to let him drop you back at your car later on. Don't give in!The date has to end right there. You don't need to go get coffee with him,you don't need to see the artwork at his apartment, and you don't need himto sit in the car with you while it warms up. The sexual edge is slipperywhen dealing with new dick, if you play around you will fall. I don't care ifyour hand accidentally brushes up against his hard dick by "accident" or ifhe's the best kisser on earth, keep your focus on the bigger picture, not theeasy nut.
A thought may cross your mind that to deny him on the date willmake him feel as if you don't really like him. Women tend to worry abouthow to balance showing interest, without seeming too hoish, and when theyover-think this it comes off as mixed signals. Give a little, show a lot! Thisis why you allow him to hug you like a lover not a friend at the end of thedate. This is why you give him a nice kiss that proves that he's more than abuddy. Those small things are proof that you're not putting him in thefriendzone. If you think giving a man head, fucking him, or even letting himsit in your car and feel you up, is how you keep him interested, then you'vealready lost this battle. Have some respect for yourself and set boundaries.A man won't like it, but he will respect it in the long run.
Date Goal: Go to Sleep
Rebuttal: I Still Want to Talk to Him
After you say your goodnights there may be one last communication beforeyou go to sleep, and that's the, "Made it home" text. The adrenaline of adate doesn't end there. If this was one of the best dates you've been on andthe chemistry was crazy, going to sleep becomes harder than trying to eatjust one French fry. Remain strong. No phone sex. No nudes. No sexting.No Video Calls. Nothing! You went on a date; it was good, now put it torest by putting your hormones to bed. I don't care if you stay up thinkingabout him for the next hour, it's better to crave than to cave.