Traditionally the third date is when a man's hustle is supposed to cometogether and he gets some sort of action--oral, foreplay, sex...if not allthree. These days, I've seen the second date evolve into the new sex datebecause modern dating puts so much focus on texting and talking betweendates, to an extent where women become comfortable around new men fast.I warn against consecutive dates back to back, because this is how men lureyou into false comfortability. Date you on Tuesday, pop up to see you onWednesday, get you over on Thursday, and a few hours into that session itdoesn't feel like a date, it feels as if you've known each other for years.Courting isn't about cramming in three dates in five days and becoming fastfriends, it's about seeing how his effort either grows or dissipates over thecourse of weeks. Literally weeks, not days. When you let men ADD dateyou, it sweeps you up in that honeymoon excitement of a new guy likingyou so much that he has to keep seeing you or talking to you.
While he's blowing up your ego by giving you constant attention in away you've always wanted, he's also disarming your safeguards.
Everything written previously will go out the window if you allow a man tospeed date you at his pace. Dating like a Spartan is not about how manydates you can get, or how big the bill is at the end of the night, it's aboutproving character via time and consistency. Before you go on the next date,you must be prepared to pump the breaks of any man looking to hustle you.
Dick On a Pedestal
A longtime friend, let's call him Billy because that's not his name, oncemade a bold statement to a group of us who were busting his balls aboutwhy he chose to talk to a girl that was not his type. It wasn't that the girlwas ugly, but Billy is one of those braggers that loves to talk about what hewill and won't hit. Given that this girl he just pulled was not the "exoticwith D-cups" type he always talked about, we called him out on hishypocrisy in the way that we men do, by clowning him. His response was,"Look at my height and my eyes, that bitch is going to give me head by thisweekend." We all laughed at the time, then we got texted pictures, not of theact, but of enough evidence to show it was going down. Over the next threemonths, it stopped being funny to me when this same girl began to hangaround like his personal slave. She wasn't his girlfriend, but she acted like itand he let her eat it up. Now, I see that she was a placeholder, but it wasanother story, however, that gave me further insight years later aboutPedestal Dicks.
There was a young woman, I'll call Brandi, who was asking foradvice. She had been dating this guy who started off nice, but then started tobe a jerk after the second date. No more morning texts and no more dateoffers. It had only been about three weeks, and she was asking me how toget her "man" back to the way things were. By the time I was able torespond, she had seemingly solved her own problem. Brandi fucked thisguy to change his attitude and said that "Oh, it's all good now, turns out hejust needed sex." Not even a week later she came running back because thesex didn't fix it! I told her silly ass that she fell for the push and pull. Herresponse put it all in perspective. "You don't understand, he's super famousin my town, everyone knows him and every girl tries to date him, but hechose me." And there it was.
The same way my friend Billy knew that his height and light eyesmade him appealing to certain women, Brandi's guy knew that his localfame made him a trophy for local basic bitches. The through line is thatmen will play the date to fuck game because they know that certain womenwill allow them to accelerate the process and lead to sex relatively easy.Billy's girl with on the chubby size, Brandi was skinny, but they both werephysically attractive. It isn't that men treat certain women like shit andchase after other types, it's that men pick up on insecurities based on how awoman acts on a date or when he first meets her. Then he passes judgmentbased on their date thirst, "girls like that fuck guys like me because I'mbetter than what they normally get." For all the shit talk average women doabout how men aren't all that, most are guilty when it comes to placingcertain men on pedestals based on Market Value.
A man knows what level he's on socially, economically, and physically. Anunattractive drug dealer knows that he can still win because he can buylove. A handsome fast food worker knows that he can still be treated as ifhe's a perfect boyfriend candidate because he has default good looks thatwomen don't pull every day. Unlike women, men can lack true confidenceand still end up with the girl of their dreams. Why? As we discussed a bit inChapter 2, Men understand market value. Males take self-inventory andthen lead with something that they know a woman will respond to in termsof seeing him as desirable. In the case of your date, he will most likely seehimself as a winner on two levels: He is attractive enough and employedenough to get most women in your city.
Mind you that we may not be talking super attractive or even a manthat makes over 100k a year. He's looking at his competition to figure outhow valuable he himself is to women. Men can guess by the area you live inand the places you go, what other men are in the race for your heart, andfrom there he can create a ranking system. He may not be Cam Newton, buthe's better than Cam the Barber. The average woman may only meet onewealthy man in her city. This upper echelon man is usually a musician orexecutive who doesn't have time for love or a ball player who already has amain girl and is only looking to get a nut or expand his Ho harem. Thisleaves Mr. I'm a 7.5 out of 10 physically and make 55K a year, as thedefault standard for a lot of women who don't want to branch out from theirnormal lifestyle. The standards in the 21st century for women are low moretimes than not, therefore, a man at the level just mentioned or above willunderstand his own shortcomings, but still know that he has enough tomake Tina Typical thirst for a commitment. Everyone wants to drive aluxury car, not because of the brand, but because it tells you and the rest ofthe world that you deserve the best and get the best. However, not everyonecan afford the best even when they believe they deserve it. Men are thesame. You deserve a man that makes just as much money as you, no priorkids, looks good, and treats you like the royalty you are...but during yourPre-Spartan life, self-doubt made you believe you needed to settle forwhat's good enough, and you ended up with a Camry instead of an S-Class.This analogy is not meant to place blame on women, it's tounderstand why those who are educated and have money themselves, lowertheir bar. There aren't as many men on their level so girls downgrade, forfear that they will die trying to find luxury. It takes time to find a qualityman in terms of looks and career, and non-Spartans are lazy. If a man thinksthat you are a woman who will settle because you have zero dating options,and he has high market value, it will show in his attitude. They know theyare being graded on a curve due to the rest of the men you meet beingbums, narcissists, or undesirables. Therefore, they act cocky or don't feel aneed to put in work. Why? Because like the Billy's of the world, they havedetermined that a woman like you won't do better--ever! Abusivehusbands tell their wives, "Go ahead and leave, look at you, who wouldwant you?" That cuts deep because there is truth to it in her own mind. Thesame thing with the guys you're dating. If you project this fear that youneed to lock this guy with high market value in, before he moves on to thenext girl, he will take advantage of your desperation.
Leverage is a man knowing that a woman doesn't have an offeron the table that's as good as or better than he is. She could find a morehandsome man, but he will be broke or sharing his dick with the entire city.She could find a more paid man, but he is most likely unattractivephysically or internally. She could find some guy that's even with him inlooks and wealth, but she doesn't want to make a lateral move and riskbeing single another year. These circumstances are what gives many menthe balls to walk into a date as if you owe him pussy. The first date he maytry, but won't pressure. The second date he expects it, but will only try forforeplay. Third date he expects it all or he's prepared to use that leverage todrop hints that he won't be around for a fourth date. To say "no" to sex withhim, or, at least, a foreplay session in private is to lose him...or so youthink.
The Rush to Settle
Your date knows that even though it's only been a week or a week and ahalf, you like him a lot, your body is attracted to him, and with the pressureof dating on the curve of "Only a few good men in this city," he willattempt to break you down using this secret: Girls Hate Dating.
"We like each other. Let's just be together so I can stop worrying about ifyou like me for me, stop stressing about if you have other girls ahead ofme, and allow me to stop entertaining these other guys I only talk to just soI can say I'm talking to someone else."
No girl really wants to date for weeks or even months. She wants two orthree dates and then to transition into a relationship where she's free to dothings without fear. Fuck raw, nurture him, update her relationship status,bae brag, and most importantly drop her guard so she can truly fall in love.She doesn't want to do the legwork of three dates, 90 days, or any tests thatcould prove that she wasted her time. Men understand that traditionally,women are in a race to be chosen, not in a marathon to figure out what'sreal and what's fake. This is why the handsome, wealthy, or successful menare in the habit of making seemingly strong women move too fast or takechances too soon. Words like "exclusive" or statements like "I'm onlytalking to you," are music to a girl's ears because she doesn't actually wantto do any of these Date Like a Spartan steps.
A typical just wants to land a man, using the lease amount of energyand brain power. Which is why I want you to take your time between thefirst and second date. Men think you're in a race like the rest of these birds,they aren't in on the secret that you're a patient Spartan. The longer youwait for the second date, the less power he has sexually, because fast sexhappens when you spend a lot of time in a short period of time. A six-hourconversation, two back to back dates, a weekend together on a spontaneoustrip, those things fast track a man to lower a woman's guard and get easysex...not you. A Spartan does fear dating, waiting, and dating some more.A Spartan thrives in this strategic game, because she understands that itneutralizes a man's sex tactics.
Breaking into Fort Knox
When I was in London, I was asked in that accent that sets my heart on fire,"If a girl followed everything you told her to do, could you yourself still goafter her and have sex with her in a short time?" I've never thought aboutanything I've written in the terms of the person who built the safe knowinghow to break into that safe. However, it is a good point. I shouldn't be ableto break you nor should any man thinking with my wisdom. There shouldbe no such thing as Spartan Proof game no matter who the man is, myselfincluded. The only way anything I'm writing fails is because you allow aman to expose your armor, and then chip away. I've seen three distinctweaknesses over the years in terms of a woman's vulnerability. Find the oneyou are hiding and reinforce it before you go on your next date.
The Girl Who Wants to Be Loved: This is the easiest type of woman toexploit while dating because her want to be loved is worn on her sleeve.These women have had a rough upbringing that included one of thesethings: Lack of attention from a father or having siblings that received moreattention. Sexual assault of some kind that was never spoken about in a realway. Their looks put down by kids in school or by family members. Beingchosen second or not at all by a childhood or teenage crush. A boyfriendthat was perfect but was taken away because of death, prison, or movingaway, and now she is haunted by the thought that her one true soul mate isalready gone and she is forced to be alone. There are more examples, butyou get the gist, these women have huge holes in their hearts and psyche'sthat have festered in a negative way for years. If a woman like this tries tofollow the Spartan Code without doing the steps laid out earlier in terms ofreframing that past and becoming reborn into a warrior that controls thisworld, her universe will continue to produce toxic results. Without trueSpartan rebirth, her past trauma will remain a magnet for negativity and herweakness will be exposed by a man who knows where her hurt rests.If I were to go on a date with a girl like this, even if she asked me allthe fist date questions and made me do most of the talking, I would findareas to turn it back on her life. The same way I wrote about how bitter menare easy to expose, sad women are even easier. A woman who has real painwants to talk about that because she never had a person that cared to hearher side of the story. Asking in a way that makes her feel as if I really wantto know her story will get her talking a little, then a lot. There is no "Game"or lies a man has to tell, and that's what confuses women. Smart men arealways honest because by being honest it proves that he is already differentfrom the other men who try to kiss ass for pussy. A woman like that, whowants someone to want her, will project that onto that man who is beingsincere. By the second date knowing that she wants to be loved, a man willdo things like wrap an arm around her, give a layered compliment, or sharesomething he can relate to her about to put her at ease. A man who easesinto your broken mind by giving you the compassion you feared you wouldnever experience becomes love. Even if it's for one night, that love willtake over, and you will fuck him. Again, not because of game or falseactions, but because you want instant love more than you want to wait forreal love to develop. He doesn't beat you; you beat yourself.
The Girl Who Wants to Be Safe: These women are extremely commonbecause their goal is to be overly careful and not engage a man because theyknow their guard is built out of glass. The goal is to use time to weed menout, but they aren't prepared for a man who can make time fly by. Girls inthis category include relationship advice lovers, those girls who have readevery celebrity advice book, Christian healing guide, Law of Attractionexercise, and even Google things like, "How long should it take a man tocall after sex?" These women are afraid that they won't get it right, so theytry to merge all the various advice together as if everything combined willfinally be their saving grace. When you take something that works and addsomething else that you only think works on top of it, you don't get twothings that work, you get chaos! Embrace Spartanhood fully, or not at all!You commit, you believe, you achieve. Spartan life is that simple. If youcan't dedicate yourself to those three simple steps, then you will continue tolive a life of repeated mistakes. Confidence doesn't get confused, so ifyou're trying to date in a way where you are overprotective and guarded,that tells me that you aren't confident in your ability to see through bullshitnor are you strong enough to deal with the pain of once again being rejectedin life.
I would go on a date with a girl like this and use the same power HoTactics women use to win, the quick bond. I would sniff out her rules andshed doubt on them, not by saying, "The 90-day rule is for fools, here'swhy," because that does nothing. The proper way would require me toaccelerate the dating process in a way where she herself feels that waiting90 days would be stupid. Going back to the idea that women don't want toreally date, I would be the man that is already talking about "this feels toostrong too fast," or "I can't believe I want you this much and it's only beena week." These women who are playing it safe are only doing it to preventthemselves from being hurt again, they have sworn to do things right, andwant to see that a man truly is into her by using time rules. However, as I'veseen with women who crashed and burned when trying to Spartan up. Theseladies aren't actually vetting; they are just trying to slow down their ownover-eager heart.
I will be nice to her, show her not only the same affection as the girlwho just wanted to be loved, but also add on my own panic about beingafraid of too much too soon. Some women eat up the fact that a man iscrazy about them and stop asking questions. These type of women want tosee that a man is open because that proves that she's safe. Show me yours,and I'll show you mine, in terms of faking emotions is an easy hustle to pulloff if a woman doesn't actually question the "why" of a sudden infatuation.This is how some of you will fail because you're looking for a man to getsprung, and tell you you're different as if that proves that your Spartanmagic worked. That's ego, not the actual process of vetting a man! Let himcry about how different you are, let him offer a meeting with his mother, lethim drop the "L" word too fast. But don't buy into that shit until time andeffort match the words he's using to gas you up. Don't remove the locks onyour heart because a man is looking through the window smiling, hands uplike, "I don't have any weapons, and I really need to come in." Be smartand patient, not safe and fearful.
The Girl Who Wants to Be Hard: Most of my female friends fall into acategory where they understand the male game, they truly get it, but thethought of playing mental chess with the opposite sex scares them. Nomatter how tough they pretend to be they are running from a fear of failurethey pass off as "I don't have the energy." These women were in deep lovepreviously, sometimes twice, and had their heart shattered by men theythought they understood. There will be no more trust, no more battle ofwits, none of the mental wars that they could easily win, because like ashell-shocked soldier sent back for another tour--they've lost their nerve.These women date without emotion, they don't believe anything a mansays, and their end game isn't love, it's finding a dick that doesn't annoyher so she can just get the physical and not have to spend the energyworrying about what's love versus what's game.
I would go on a date with a girl like this and once I see the telltalesigns of her being emotionally hardened, I would drop the romance. Thesekind of women don't want to play the game so why play. If she wants totreat men like men treat girls, then I have to earn her respect as somethingbeyond the normal man, and that happens by forming a partnership. If youwant to be Harley, I'll be your Joker, no corny shit just fun. You don't wantlove; me neither, what the fuck are we even putting on fronts for, let's goparty and bullshit. Men, especially athletes and entertainers, love thefantasy of the "good time girl" who isn't serious and who isn't looking to besomething long term. The same is true here with those hard women thatthink they're Spartans but are really just filled with fear. By being okay withher "fuck love" lifestyle, and not trying to prove to her that I'm different orshe should open up, I become harmless. Like a Smart Ho that gets calls at3am from someone like Drake, just to talk, because she doesn't judge or tryto make it into a love affair, I would be there for this fake-tough woman.Always down to listen, laugh, hear her vent no matter the time or day. It'snot about being fake, because she can tell if a man's fake, being real winsher over. But this doesn't slip into the friendzone because I would still keepdoing the hangout sessions that she doesn't call dates, but are. I'm notsaying anything mushy, it's just chill, but I continue to grip her ass and kissher on the mouth when it's time to say goodbye. This gangster courting willonly take a matter of weeks to wear her down. Then she's sprung.
Now the guard is down and she has sex because that's what shethought she needed; rough punishing sex with no strings attached. Onlythen, after the sex, will she remember what was behind that heavy armor, abig heart. The coldest women are really the warmest if you hit the rightspots. Sadly, the way she let this man into her heart was done with himgoing through the backdoor, no real vetting. He was a cool guy, he didn't lieor bullshit, but was he the right guy for her? She never finds out becausenow he's moved on to the next emotionally frustrated woman who pretendsto be hard. When her once frigid heart warms up, how will she deal withthis man not wanting her on that level? She will go even deeper into hershell, only to repeat this same mistake later on in life. To those of you thatcling on to this, "I don't care, I'm going to act like a boy," attitude, it won'tsave you from heartbreak, it makes you a target. Being too hard to date ortoo exhausted to date, doesn't mean you get to skip the steps, it means youstop throwing yourself a pity party and do the work that must be done toerase fear, reset your avatar, and become a Spartan. Women who areweighed down with heavy hearts are even easier targets because theirapathy blinds them to being attacked in other ways not used by the normalplayers.
In Think like a Man, the movie's twist came when the men found SteveHarvey's book and used the women's rules against them. Even if a manknows that you're a Spartan, he can't beat you. There is no "say the rightthings, and get pussy," game any male can use on any date because being aSpartan changes your entire mentality to be war ready no matter what curvea man throw's at you.