You may feel as if most of the things listed in the last chapter areunnecessary or can be dwindled down to simply having a few long phonecalls and setting up the second date. Final warning, if you attempt tofreestyle these steps or be lazy with them because you are impatient, thenyou will fail. This is five years' worth of research in seeing how impatient,lovesick, and know-it-all women lose. Don't get sloppy and make the samemistakes every typical girl that has one good date makes the minute shefeels wanted. He doesn't actually want you at this point! If your goal is towin, not just date at a normal basic level, then take everything on thesepages very seriously. You will want to go out on a date with him the nextday or maybe a few days later, but you must take it slow between the firstand second date. "I don't have time, and he's asking me out," I don't care!In order for a man to see you as a Game Changer going forward, he has toget hooked on your personality. Not your phone voice, not your nudes, notthe anticipation of seeing you that weekend; he has to experience you as apart of his daily life, get accustomed, and then when he is fully open, andonly then, do you give him another dose in person.
Some of you go on three dates in one week with the same guybecause you don't know how to work a man emotionally from afar. Some ofyou spend all day on the phone with these men or text all day because youdon't know how to create want through separation. Realize that these stepsaren't made up out of thin air; these are real examples of how womendominate. As for the women who fail to follow the post-date steps, I havetwo inboxes full of "Don't be mad, but I fucked up," that clearly show thatthe old ways will always be the wrong way.
Don't Wait On Him to Reach Out
You wake up, check your phone... nothing. You try to brush it off, but anhour later your phone is back in your hand, this time, you're growing angry.That's pride fucking with you. "If a man wants you he'll rush after you,"that's the bullshit women pile up and lean on so they can justify their fear.You want a man to talk to you first, call first, and then call after a date soyou can be sure that he likes you. For you to move first comes with the riskof being rejected. You must not hide from rejection, you must run towards itbecause the fear of the unknown is why your thoughts keep you worked up,nervous, and doubtful. It's better to reach out and get curved, then to sitaround for days hoping that he actually calls. Take things into your ownhands, because when you do reach out first you exercise total control.This is the 21st century and men think the same way as women interms of coming off as thirsty. He took you out, fed your ass, and shared hislife story with you. For him to pop up with a morning text, an afternooncall, or even an email makes him consider, "Damn she's going to think I'msome kind of loser that has nothing better to do but hound her." When awoman is too prideful to call and a man is playing it cool waiting at least 24hours to reach out because he read to do so in some Pick Up Artist book,then you ruin the momentum. In a perfect world, a man will hit you up aftera date just to check in because you're on his mind and he wants to keep itgoing. However, you have to prepare for the new age man who may beunsure if reaching out is something you will respect or see as simp activity.Don't over think this. He passed your test, the date was great, so let himknow that it's okay to hit you up by hitting him up first. The goal is to geton the phone and keep the conversation going so you can learn even moreabout his personality when he's not face to face with you. Your goal is notto be some, "If he wants me he knows my number," young ass pride demon.
Don't Be Annoying
A friend was on the phone with me one night, and what was supposed to bea ten-minute conversation turned into 90 minutes of clowning around.Finally, his "girl" chimed in and said, "For someone who doesn't liketalking on the phone you've been on that call forever." She caught him.Contrary to what they tell women, men do not have a problem talking onthe phone. It's not the phone, it's the person on the other end that makeshim lie and say, "I don't do phones." In terms of my friend, he doesn't talkto that particular girl for longer than ten minutes unless she's in the sameroom. Why? Because she's only good for pussy and light conversation. Ihope you are on your way to being a full-blown Spartan, but the truth is,none of what you're reading may stick, and may always remain a Zombiewho is only good for pussy and light conversation. The type of desperategirl that over-calls, over-texts, and annoys a man with a lack of realconversation.
What did you do today? When is the next time I can see you? How's yourday going? Did you see that one video on vine? The weather was crazytoday, right?
Most men play along because they know that after twenty minutes ofthis BS or "did you miss me...no I asked you first," chitchat they can lureyou into sex talk and then set up when to come see you next. The daysfollowing your first date you need to establish that you aren't typical. Whena man calls or texts he should get the sense that you're the type of womanthat will always say something interesting, not ask what he's doing orasinine questions about his boring day. In Cali's examples, she found waysto keep her man talking about things that he couldn't shut up about. Thisisn't hard if you paid attention on your first date and listened to the thingsyour date talked about and showed the most excitement over. Not everyman is into the NBA, Grand Theft Auto games, or Avengers movies, youneed to listen to the way his voice shifts when he gets on a subject heenjoys, and keep hitting those topics. The more he says, the morecompatibility you can determine. Remember you're not looking to be hisgirl; he's looking to be your guy. Therefore, his interests have to line up orwhy date him?
Another problem, besides being so nervous that you can't create realconversation, is not knowing when to chill out and give each other a break.Let's say that you are fun to talk to and he loved your marathon phoneconversation. Don't follow up by thinking that you're supposed to talkthroughout the day or text throughout the day going forward. Have a lifeoutside of talking to this one man. You like him and he likes you, but whenyou won't give him a breather to go live your life, you smother him. Theironic thing is that men don't mind this when you're first getting to knoweach other, they will happily let you over communicate. What man is goingto tell you, "Baby, you're texting me too much, chill," and still get a seconddate or a first nut? Just because a man isn't objecting doesn't mean he'senjoying that kind of attention.
Clingy is never cute. A man will get sick of you without evenknowing it. Once a guy loses his taste for you, he will figure out ways toavoid you, until he can see you in person aka try for sex. While you were asteak with lobster, days upon days of eating that has made you as special asmeatloaf. Allow him to miss you, to want you, to chase you! You should bedating other men. You should be talking to your friends. You should havehobbies outside of work. "...but all I think about is him," no shit, becauseall you have is him, but he's not yours yet! The reason typical womenstruggle with over communicating is that their own lives are boring. Go towork or school, come home, play on the internet, watch a show, repeat.Your Amazon wishlist is overflowing, but your social life is empty as fuck.Right now, even with all the stuff you distract yourself with, how manytimes do you say, "I'm bored!" per week? If you are bored, that means youare boring! Men pick up on this vibe, they know it's not simply you havinga crush based on how good things are going, he knows you don't have a lifeoutside of him. The moment you show a man that you want him more thanhe wants you, It's game over. If you can't pace yourself during the firstweek or two, how will you pace yourself during a real relationship? Makethis man a part of your day, not the primary focus of your day.
Don't Fall Back into Your Story
A big part of preventing burnout is to keep up with the main thing laid outon the first date. Let him do the talking. When you get him on the phoneand you get all the jokes out, you'll most likely be cuddled up in your bed,hair in your bonnet, and feeling all warm and fuzzy. This usually results in awoman telling too much to a man she barely knows. There will be plenty oftime for your story. This is Forrest Gump, he's Forrest, and you're thatwoman on the bench that's asking, "What the fuck was up with Jenny?"Do not get so comfortable in your environment that you feel as if youneed to tell him about childhood trauma. Do not let his smooth phone voicedrop your guard and make you talk about how worried you are about moneyor health. Do not revert to stories about your ex's mother, your father'sdrinking problem, your sister's loser husband, or anything that triggers yourown personal therapy session. There is nothing wrong with talking aboutthings that you plan on doing, or your views on life, politics, religion,family, etc...However, stay away from going into your own personal lifestories to prove a point. The first week of calls is about him pouring himselfout, so you can filter the bullshit. The same way you are relaxed, he'srelaxed at his place, and he will start to snitch on himself the later it gets onthat phone call. Your job is to listen to Forrest spin his tales, onlyinterjecting to make a joke, comment, or to ask for clarity on something. Iwill say it again; people love to hear themselves talk more than they like tolisten to others talk. Expose that on your first post-date phone call, andcontinue to hit that each night you two cupcake on the phone.
Don't Social Media Stalk
Are you on Instagram? Should never come out of your mouth. Asking his@ name is off limits. Popping up on Facebook trying to add him the nextmorning is not only creepy; it's a recipe for disaster as you move forward inthis blossoming relationship. Even if the man asks you for your socialmedia info, have a response ready, "That's for fun, boo, you get the realme," or "I'm only on Facebook for my family, I don't really bring personalstuff online." Don't lie, Spartan Up and say "no" to him. He can stalk if hewants to; a Spartan doesn't put her business online anyway. But if he doesbring something you said on the internet up, when you never told him anyof your username information, you reveal the sneaky bitch in him. If hedoesn't trust you and is willing to judge based on what you write or post,then let him bring that bullshit to your next date or a phone call, and cut himoff like you just hit that 141st character.
If you two were already friends online, then don't suddenly censoryourself because you know he's looking. "What if he thinks that's asubtweet? What if he thinks that guy who I blew kiss emoji's is my otherbae? What if I'm on another date and he sees me posting pictures of mydress and asks where I was?" You're slipping back into typical behavior.Fuck what he thinks. If you're dating other men, be smart enough not toblast that as a Snapchat story or Instagram post. You know you're out, youknow you look good, and you know you're going to be able to take otherpictures at other times, so don't let your vanity get you caught up. ASpartan has to keep her court private, not everything is for the public.The other side of the equation is your own jealousy and insecurityworking overtime. You may want to stalk him and find out info that youcan't get on the phone, but again this leads to the path of being typical.Basicas over think everything, and they live to do deep Google searches onmen because they're afraid to be hurt. Fear drives those peasants to stalk,but it should never drive you to stoop to that level. Is that his friend or is hetrying to fuck that girl whose pictures he always likes? Is he @ing that girlbecause he agrees with the things she's tweeting or is he trying to soften herup so he can slide in those DMs...is he already in her DMs!? See, this iswhy you shouldn't trust men they are always trying to double dip and blahblah blah! Why are you driving yourself crazy by speculating about a manthat isn't even your friend, let alone, boyfriend?Here's the truth, men on social media are never going to behavethemselves. It's a buffet where all of these women with avatar's thathighlight their best features are accessible 24-7. Is he flirting with womenon the timeline? He had better be if he's single or he's an idiot. Is heposting some Draya Michele looking chick, as his Woman CrushWednesday and you don't look a thing like Draya? Yup, because he's tryingto fuck her too. Is he on Facebook dropping subliminal messages about howhe enjoyed your date last night because he's feeling you or is it so his exknows he's moved on? Who cares!? No matter if you find good or badinformation, none of what a man does from the privacy of his social mediaaccount matters. Once you're in an official relationship then you can policethat nonsense, but for now, stay away! All stalking does is put ideas in yourhead that make you jump to conclusions or turn you off.
The counter may be, "What if he's psycho, shouldn't me or my bff dorecon on his pages to be sure he's not two-timing me or saying weird shit?"No! You and your bff need to go join a book club or something becauseyou're doing too much with your free time. The truth needs to come to lightvia conversation, that's how you prove that you are doing these stepscorrectly. You aren't with him yet; therefore, the other women he's fuckingor trying to fuck aren't your business. I once heard of a girl making herfriend go on Tinder and match with the guy she was dating to see if he wasreally into her...he's single! He's not going to delete his Get Pussy Appbased on one, or even two, good dates with you. Why would any man getrid of his hos this soon? Stop letting your ego gas you! In reality, youshould be doing the same thing with other men because one date does notmean you are no longer single. You are very single, which is why youshould have a roster until you agree to give him the title. Jealousy dictates that the man you like should barricade himself awayfrom the rest of the women in the world and focus on you. That's notrealistic. He doesn't know if you're going to turn out as cool as you were onthe first date, if your compatibility is legit, or if you're just wearing a maskyourself. What fool cuts off his other options or potential options forsomething that has yet to be disproved as a mirage? Women have a badhabit of putting all their eggs in one basket the moment they meet a high-grade prospect; men have always known better. If you look hard enoughyou will find him online flirting with a girl, but that's normal. Using socialmedia to see if he's psychotic is also pointless. His mental stability isn'tgoing to be revealed in a selfie or twitter rant. Any excuse as to why youwant to stalk him is just that, an excuse. Don't complicate your mission bybringing unrelated things into the picture; focus on how he's treating you,that's all.
Don't Bring Up Other Women or Men
Staying on the subject of minding your own damn business, do not bring upother women who may currently be in his life. In the advice I give daily,I'm often talking to women who are dating guys who already havegirlfriends, who are in situationships, or men who are on break but notreally free of their ex. People rarely clean break from relationships beforegetting into new ones, it's clearly the world we live in, or I wouldn't get somany emails on the subject. All you can go off is what he tells you on Day0. If you do the baby mama check or the "your girlfriend" check, as I laidout earlier, you can only base the opportunity you're giving him off hisanswer. If a man lies and says, "I don't have one of those," then take hisword... don't believe it, but give him the benefit of the doubt for now. If itcomes up on the date or in a conversation post-date that he was lying, thenyou cut him the fuck off! Some men will tell you, "I didn't want to scareyou off. It's complicated. We're breaking up." Do not buy it! If he lies, hehas to go. No exceptions.
If he responded honestly and said, "I actually am seeing someone," or"I'm trying to end it with my ex, but she keeps holding on." Then use yourdiscretion. I don't advise getting into a messy situation where the lastchapter isn't closed. In a perfect world, a man will be single or at the most,only dating, the same as you are. However, your reality may push youtowards someone who has some baggage but still seems worth the chance.I'm not going to tell you to close the door if he's being honest about thatcurrent relationship, but don't be naive either. For anyone that read SolvingSingle you already know my stance on taking a man from a weak bitchbeing easier than buying food stamps from a junkie. A girlfriend isn't thesame as a wife, she can easily be removed. A situationship dummy is justanother placeholder, she too can be pushed out.
If a man is entertaining you, yet admits to having something else he'strying to get out of, it may be a lie so he can double dip, or it may be thetruth and he is trying to find a reason to clear his roster. Nevertheless, youhave to consciously understand and accept the boat you're climbing into oryou could end up in the same situation a few months down the line. Datinga man with a previous situation is a choice you make when he firstconfesses to that, not one you decide on after your first date. If you arethinking, "He has a girl and I'm not trying to get mixed up with that, but letme see how our date goes before I decide for sure," then you already fuckedup. Don't compromise yourself by being indecisive! The same way that youhave to ask yourself if you can deal with a man with a child, you have to behonest about a man with a girl or a lingering ex. The more time you givehim to win you over, the harder it will be to walk away.
During your post-date week don't say petty shit like, "You must havebeen busy with your other chicks," or "Let me know when you're free, Iknow you're popular." Those are signs of passive aggressiveness andunwarranted jealousy. His life is his life; he hasn't earned or accepted theposition to come to work for you, so of course he's putting in otherapplications. In Ho Tactics, one of the biggest mind-fucks is to be okay withhim having other women, in route to becoming that perfect unbotheredfantasy woman. These steps are much different because you're notsoftening him up to buy you things; you want to earn his respect and, lateron, his love. To be cool with him having hos is to show him that youaren't serious, that you're a down for whatever type girl, no man wantsto marry that. While he will enjoy that easy going disposition, and tell youhow cool you are, he won't see you as anything long term. Assume that youaren't the only girl, but carry yourself as if you are the only girl.The same rules apply to a jealous man asking about the other peopleyou are dating. "This is A and B, let's not talk about Z," or "I'm not talkingto anyone seriously right now." That's all you need to get across when aman asks you about your life outside of him. For some reason, women areway too open about their "we talk" relationships. Stop being an open bookwith these strange men! You don't have a boyfriend, so why bring up someother guy who you are just dating or some random FWB who you call whenthe vibrator isn't enough? Keep your business your business, until that manbecomes more to you. You aren't lying if you don't give him an answer, andyou aren't being a mean if you tell him to worry about himself. You don'towe shit to this man just because he took you out. Therefore, at the first hintof jealousy, shut him down by either ignoring the inquisition, telling him toworry about himself, or downplaying the seriousness of the other men youentertain.
This isn't to spare his feelings; it shows him that you aren't one ofthese girls who becomes a girlfriend before she is actually a girlfriend.Some of you are guilty of letting your own want for a man stop you fromtalking to other men before that guy has even proved himself. Even if youaren't dating other men, carry yourself as if you are. This shows a man thatyou are desired outside of his courting. The thought of a woman havingother men drives any truly interested man crazy. Use his male insecurity asa weapon! When you get to the step where you take a day off from him, heknows that he should be worried. At that moment, you are firmly in controlbecause he knows that it's on him to take you off the market, you aren't abasic chick that takes herself off the market out of a thirst to be chosen.
Don't See Him
I was talking to a woman who told me about a good Tinder date she wenton. This guy took her out to eat and then surprised her with an archeryactivity. That's a creative date. First you dine like a princess and then youget to play Katniss Everdeen for the rest of the night. How did she rewardthis? She called him the next day and asked for a ride as if the man was anUber driver. When he didn't respond accordingly, she then offered to payfor the ride. This is how you turn fireworks to firecrackers. Dating issupposed to exude this feeling of magic. When you try to bring that maninto your life to do favors like drop offs, furniture moving, house painting,or even have him stop by your job to say "hello" the magic vanishes. Don'ttake Prince Charming and turn him into Ray Regular. Some men willhappily do these things just to get extra time with you, and you may salvagea relationship out of it, but it's too much too soon, and you are skippingover the necessary steps. You're forcing him to be a part of your life beforeyou get to know him, and once that seal is broken you can't go back.Even distribution of time is very important to getting to knowsomeone properly. Pop up visits, or multiple dates in the same week, canbond you too fast in all the wrong ways. To lock yourself in the house andjust get to know him will never be as effective as pacing yourself overweeks. The goal is to be a special attraction, that a man looks forward to,not an everyday appearance he takes for granted. Most of you know TheRock, former Pro Wrestler turned movie star. Well when The Rock cameback to wrestle people were confused, it's like why leave 10 million amovie for 5 million a year? The genius was that The Rock only had to showup every three months. That ended up being 5 appearances that year--which broke down to a million dollars a show. Why the hell would WWEowner Vince McMahon pay that much for one man? Because every time heshowed up it meant something! It was special. That's how you need to bewith your time. Either you're going to be John Cena, the great vanillachampion that's out there every night, or you're going to be the fuckingRock, electric, magical, and has someone dying in anticipation of your nextappearance.
Attached at the hip syndrome is the reason most college,workplace, and local neighborhood romances fail. When you spend timegetting to know a person at an accelerated rate, it's like going forward inyour biology textbook. You're supposed to be learning about DNA, trulyunderstanding it, not glossing over it so you can rush to the chapter on thehuman body. Some of you probably rushed over earlier chapters to get tothis part of the book, because you think you get it, but when you don'tutilize patience to learn, you never get it. You could be in a college dorm oron a military base with nowhere to go, that doesn't mean you hang out eachday because you can't date properly under the conditions. Patience mustremain. You could walk over to sit with him and talk, but where's the buildup? Wait a week and go off base for a drink. Wait until you are done withfinals, and then go over to the local off-campus karaoke bar to trip withhim. No matter where you live, take your time and be a special attraction!I knew a girl; we'll call her Trina, who dated her co-worker. Theywent out once and then fell into the habit of eating lunch together every day.I gave advice to one girl, call her Eve to stick with the female rapper theme,who dated a guy in her apartment complex. This neighbor invited Eve outonce, and then they fell into the habit of chilling in their apartments eachday. "What's wrong with that, bonding on or outside of a date is stillbonding," let me correct your flawed logic. Both of these real life peopleran into the exact same problem. Trina's work buddy ended up talking toanother girl on the job. The apartment guy ended up official with a girl thatmoved into Eve's building. Both stories had this burst of never wanting tobe separated attraction followed by a crash and burn boredom. These mendidn't have to work for anything outside of that first date. They learnedbasic things about each other, had deep talks about life, but theirrelationship never grew outside of ordering in takeout or rubbing hands inthe break room. By the time Trina and Eve both had sex with those guys, itcame at a very cheap price. Just like that idiot who wins the lottery andblows the money, no one appreciates things that come easy.
If Trina would have gone to work every day, declined lunch sessions,and established dating and communicating as an outside of the buildingspecialty, then Trina's guy would have seen Trina as something special. Asit went down, he conquered Trina without breaking a sweat and didn't trulyappreciate her as a person, just an object of lust during his eagerhoneymoon stage. Eve's guy had stairwell pussy, he got off work, ran upthe stairwell, and there it was waiting for him. The girl he left Eve forwouldn't even let him in her apartment. Think about that! Eve was confusedas to how a man could get everything he wanted, yet still pick the womanthat tells him, "no." It boils down to the respect the special attractionwoman is able to create, whereas the attached at the hip woman becomesstale, allowing apathy to set in. Similar to women in college who want tolay up under guys all evening, it won't work unless he sees you as a victorydue to his efforts, not something handed over quickly. Dates make you aspecial attraction, utilize them to build your legend. A man will alwaysremember what it took for him to get you and cherish that effort.
Don't Be Thirsty for Attention
A question that comes up in actual relationships is, "How do I know howmuch space to give my boyfriend?" This is usually asked when therelationship is having troubles and about to end. Men wait until it's too lateto carve out their space, and women, generally, never even think that theirmen want space to begin with. There are two types of women, the ones thatlove being free from their lovers and the ones that love being up under theirlovers. The latter has a one-track mind, "he doesn't object to being aroundme so much, or talking to me so much, then he feels the way I feel."Wrong! A man is scared to death to tell his woman that he needs space, sohe creates it naturally by using excuses such as work, friends, priorengagements, sporting events, etc. As a woman, you have to understand thateven those men that want to be up under you need to be let loose. Most ofthe strong relationships I've seen revolve around the woman getting awayfrom her man frequently to do her own thing. One of my best friends in LosAngeles has a super cool girlfriend that is into a lot of the things he is, butevery other time I hang with him she's missing. She takes herself out of theequation because she understands that if it were up to him he would haveher be his shadow. That's a woman knowing how to naturally balance theattention she gets and gives, in order to push her man to go be a free man.After your first date and following your routine of talking on thephone or texting each other each day, you may get hooked. In your mind,you expect to get a quick text back all the time because you are used to it.You may expect him to call every night or be free to talk every night at 8,because you are used to it. For a man to have other things come up maycause weak bitch thoughts to pop up for no reasons. "Consistency" is one ofthe biggest desires women have, but in real life, consistency is not about aman reacting the same way to you five days out of the week. Don't getaddicted to the habit of communication when you are first getting to know aman because he does have a life outside of talking to you. One of the goalsis to become a part of his life by fitting into his day, not taking over his day.You need to set that routine to talk, but if you see that the schedule isnot working, adjust. If he wants to call you at 10 pm, understand the reasondon't think that he's losing interest. If he doesn't respond to a text for twohours, understand that he may have been caught up with something, andinstead of reacting with, "fine, I won't text this fool ever again," inquireabout that when you talk to him and see what was going on in his day.Communication is the other C that needs to be used in heavy doses. Whenyou actually become a couple, you need to be able to understand hisbehavior, not just expect things to go the same way every day. Know whento reach out, know when to fall back, and know when to set your own rulesfor consistency. This step will help you control any neurotic behaviorduring dating and teach you how to balance your wants versus his freedomas you move into a real relationship.
Don't Have Phone Sex
I think phone sex is the greatest thing in the world, and one of the wayswomen can easily hook a man during the "getting to know you" phase.However, the week after the first date is too soon to whip it out if you'retrying to establish a legitimate relationship. You can flirt and be seductive,but to actually get into a position where you are on the phone making a mancum, before you even get a second date, sends the wrong message. Thesecond date is where a man thinks he will fuck you, and if you start talkingabout all the ways you're going to suck his dick and how you want him tobend you over and pull your hair, then sex becomes expected. He'll takeyou out on that date, tell you what you want to hear, and play his position toget that fantasy in real life. Do not taint the mission by leading a man tobelieve that he's already in there, because then he stops being honest, andall the work you did on the first date is null and void. When you're about toget into a man's pockets using Ho Tactics phone sex is a tool for control,when you want to be respected, phone sex proves you're out of control.Days after the first date, you're having a marathon phone session, andit creeps into how you have a sexy phone voice. You play around by sayingsomething teasing like, "Do I really, daddy?" That's cool, but when youtake it to the level of what you would do, what you're wearing, or allowhim to guide you into saying something that will get him off, the game isover. Men are persuasive, and when a woman is afraid to scare a man off,she allows herself to be manipulated into making him happy. There arewomen who love to say what they won't do, but when a man is begging,they bend to his will, worried he will go find another girl to satisfy hisneeds.
You have to be willing to say, "No" and say it often. You won't beJerk off Encouragement for a man you barely know, that's not who you are.If he wants to pout and get off the phone early with you, let him. He can gocall up his other bitch and let her talk about all the ways she likes to deepthroat. When you smack a man's hand down and prove through actionswhat kind of women you are, he may get turned off and never come back.Good! Each step of this section is meant to run a man off because only themen that aren't scared off by you coming off as a woman of respect deserveto stay around.
Don't Let Him Plan the Second Date
Let's review the first date once more. You wanted him to give you his bestshot in terms of creativity and romance. It didn't matter if he took you to aYelp rated $$ restaurant or a $$$$ one, this was not about money it wasabout effort, seeing how this potential boo treats his women. He did a goodjob; maybe he already nailed your personality with his dating choice. Nowit's time to introduce him to your normal style. Think of the second date ashow you expect to be treated by a man going forward. Some of you aretomboys who don't want to sit and eat, you prefer to go hiking and have apicnic at the top. Some of you are hood at heart and the comfort of placeslike Red Lobster are preferred to some place that serves you one scallop andcharges you $50 for it and an extra $12 for two pieces of asparagus. Othersare more into the culture of the city, and love trying new places or visitingold stomping grounds. This isn't your ideal date in terms of Valentine's Dayromance, it's your ideal date in terms of sharing your world. You need toshow a man who you are beneath the sexy exterior and see if he can keep upwith you because this is the final date before you make your first cut.How do you become best friends and remain best friends? Howcan you create that once in a lifetime bond that leads to a strong marriage?You must find common loves or introduce each other to new loves. Sittingin the house watching TV shows is cool, but that's not a true reflection oflife, so expose him to something deeper. There are so many 19 and 20-year-olds that swear their boyfriends are their best friends but they don't shareanything in common, they sit in the house, watch YouTube, eat, and fuck.Those relationships always crumble because real romance doesn't confineitself to the house or revolve around doing what only one of the two feelslike doing. You like museums, why hasn't he taken you to any? You preferdrama films; why does he only take you to see the comedy flicks he enjoys?You're a family-centric person, why does he always find a way to avoiddinner with your relatives? In response to a woman trying to be a "whateveryou want to do, babe," Cool Girl, relationships form with the man at thecenter. Months or years later women realize the hustle: I do everything hewants to do but as soon as I want to do something, it's a debate. Youcreated that life for yourself by not dating properly! "I don't need to go anywhere. I just want to be with him." Womenare not supposed to be dogs that serve to do as their masters say. Putting aman at the center of the relationship is outdated and overly submissive, andI refuse to see you date this way. The second date is your date, your activity,your type of food, or your type of romance. The words, "I don't feel likedoing that," coming from his mouth already sets the stage for a man whowill never truly be in a two-way relationship. I'm not promoting dating yourway or the highway, I'm talking about establishing a compromise. A manwill have you sit there and watch the basketball team he likes and you haveto find a way to make it fun. A man will be quick to tell you he doesn't feellike going to a birthday party with your friends, but he will expect you to beby his side when he has to show up to his work party. That's what I meanby a man being the center. I know so many women who get led date afterdate and never have any say because they are afraid to speak up. "I don'tknow what to do, you decide babe," is a front used by cowardly girls whodon't want to choose wrong. You fear that a man won't enjoy the thingswomen enjoy, so you do what he likes to pacify him. When it comes tothose things you enjoy, you push them to the side and do them with yourgirlfriends or by yourself. You don't become partners to do the things youlove apart. Yes, there will always be disinterest and you will have activitiesthat don't mesh, but there needs to be more you enjoy together than apart.When you reach this second date point, before any of the "Let's dothings I want to do," male-centric bullshit sets in, you have to create thatfoundation of compromise. You need a man that is willing to step into yourworld so he can get closer to the real you. What defines you? What are theintangibles that make you unique? These are questions that can't beanswered verbally, you have to show these men who you are at the core.The second date is an entry level trip into your world. Don't over-thinkwhat you want to do as if you need to blow him away or seem cool, it's notabout the wow factor. Plan a date based on the thing you would want to dothe most on any given day. It's the personification of what you define as agood time. Before we get to that second date, let's dive into how to staystrong sexually when a man who you now like on a deeper level tries to testyour Dick Discipline before that date, and after.