What makes you so damn special? If you were to sit across from a man ona first date, corner booth, wine flowing, your eyes locked on one another,and he asked you that simple question, what would be your unrehearsedresponse? Maybe you would lift your head high and read off a list of youracademic achievements, your bachelor's in this or your master's in that.Perhaps you would skip the schooling, and start with your career. Name-drop that it's a Fortune 500 company or boast about how many timesyou've been promoted in a short period. Maybe you're the type that doesn'thave any external credentials you can list as amazing, so you use the oldesttrick in the book: compare yourself to other women to demonstrate how rareof a catch you are. You have your own car and your own place--you're notlike the next bitch. You have your own money and you don't have to ask aman for anything--you're not like the next bitch. You can cook, you keepyourself well dressed, and you are not the kind of woman who has a namearound town...I get it...you are not like the next bitch. When challengedwith what makes you special, your answer will always be some form of,"I'm special because I'm not like other women." Do you know who saysthose exact things? Every other woman!
You are essentially a hamburger. No one is ever surprised to see youon a menu, they expect it. Yet another woman who uses words like, "I'mthe type that..." "If that were me, I..." and "These girls today are...,"failing to realize that you are emblematic of those same girls you areattempting to distance yourself from. When a man sits and listens to youseparate yourself by throwing around those generic qualities, he may nodhis head, utter a limp "wow, look at you! I need someone like that on theteam," but internally, his eyes are rolling because every man has heard thisall before. Unbeknownst to you, four out of the five things you are claimingas special, other women lay claim to as well. Do you think you are the onlyeducated, independent, loyal, spiritual, female that a man who actually getsout beyond his neighborhood will meet? You're a self-proclaimed, goodwoman. Spoiler alert, a successful man dates multiple "good women" amonth. During a conversation, a man will experience Typical Bitch DateDeja Vu: This lawyer across from me is just like that school teacher fromlast month. She says she's looking for this kind of connection, she says shehas this going for her, she was just on some vacation, and she's now sayingshe's the type that blah fucking blah! Jeez, this bitch is vanilla! In the end,her job, her income, nor her ownership of property will become a majorfactor in determining if he actually wants more from her than sex. Nomatter what this woman lists as unique, he does not feel that she is becausehe has sat across from women who are just as self-reliant and successful,three times this month.
Men will always play along and act as if you're the most interestingwoman in the world. You have a new vagina he hasn't sampled yet, so he'sgoing to flatter you and feign impressed, but I know what's actually goingon in his head. While sitting across from you, a man is hearing the sametypical responses and the same typical opinions. He can tell that, withmaybe a few exceptions, you are exactly like that nurse who he dated forthree weeks, slept with, and then got bored with--Yawn! 9 out of 10women bring the same shit to the table in terms of academics, employment,and domestic abilities. "Where is he ever going to meet a woman who isintelligent and makes over 80k a year?" Everywhere!The majority of grown ass women are studious and responsible. I'vegiven advice to countless women over the years, psychologists, engineers,actresses, small and large business owners. Do you know what I tell themwhen they give me lame personality traits like, "Well, I'm loyal andhonest," and then tout their yearly income as if that's more important thantheir personality? Congratulations for doing what you're supposed to do inlife...but where is the charisma, the fire, the wit, the aggression, and thepersonality of a powerful woman to go along with those degrees or jobtitles? Men don't want these ladies, no matter what they bring to the table,and they don't understand why. Typicals cling on to that first few weekstreatment as proof that a man had real interest, but real interest doesn'tpeak. If a man sees you as different, as special, then interest will only rise. Itlevels off with the average woman, because despite her achievements orlooks, she comes off as unique as seeing snow in Colorado.
This chapter is about defining who you truly are, not who you thinkyou are based on your own egotistical view of yourself. In your own mind,you may be the greatest woman who has ever lived, but to those who meetyou, it's highly likely that you are viewed as merely alright. Some of youmay feel a need to skip this part because you don't want to have yourfeelings hurt. All you have is that defensive voice in your head thatscreams, "He's not talking about me, I'm not typical." Do not run awayfrom this chapter. This is between you and you, there is no reason to put ona strong front as if you don't have any problems, or that you're different.You're not. There are walls that you've built up to keep your sensitivefeelings from being hurt. The pride that tells you that you are stronger thanwhat you are, the ego that tells you that the men who didn't want you werestupid or emotionally unavailable, the cosmetics that make you feel prettierthan what you are when you first wake up, the materialistic bullshit you buyto make you feel fancier than other people--All Walls!
I work and have my own. I don't need a man financially. I'm the type ofwoman mothers love. I'm very caring and nurturing. I would make a greatmother and wife, myself. I focus on one man because I'm loyal. I don't hangwith a lot of girls or put my business online. I'm not clingy or annoying. Istand by my man no matter what. My ex-boyfriends will tell you that I wasthe best girlfriend they ever had. I'm not trying to brag but look at me, menare always trying to wife me.
Typical women list typical qualities because they aren't self-awareenough to actually dig down deep and share what truly makes them special.Those qualities may add to your greatness, but none of them are so rare thatyou should lean on them like a crutch and expect a man to feel privileged tobe talking to you. Your career doesn't make you any less boring. Youreducation can help you add up how many missed calls you've left andfigure out that he's not calling you back after sex. Your niceness isoverrated; tons of women can bring soup to a sick man and listen to himvent about work, maternal chicks grow on trees. Your vagina isn't dipped ingold, and they didn't stop making cute faces after they made yours, so whywould a man put up with your dry ass personality after your pretty becomesnormal and your pussy expires? All the crap that you think makes youdifferent is T.Y.P.I.C.A.L and I'm going to prove it. You can roll your eyes,you can squirm in your chair, and you can get defensive, but once you'redone with those typical reactions, you will be forced to upgrade yourmindset. This is not about tearing you down; it's about tearing your falserepresentative down so you can finally set yourself apart from every otherwoman in this world. Lower your defenses, open your mind, and let's pourgasoline on all of the typical things you think make you, so we can build astronger you.
You Are Not Your Career
Look at how proactive women of all races are in terms of pursuing someform of higher education, and their ability to attain a full-time job. Eventhose women who were born in poverty, more often than the men fromthose same backgrounds, will rise to the middle-class through hard workand determination. The majority of women want more out of life, and forthe past century, each generation has outshone the last generation in termsof accomplishments. These are beautiful qualities that should be applauded,but the point is, this happens often, which means that men do not see this asunique. There are more responsible women than Do Nothing Bitches,despite what you may see on Reality TV shows or Vine videos.
Nevertheless, typical women have this idea that they're the only onesdoing it big. This is the root of their false confidence. They didn't stopmaking successful women when they made you, and men know it. Let'sstick with the theme of women who come from humble beginnings andreach some form of middle-class success. Who do they have to comparethemselves to in terms of, "Why would a man pick her over me?" A womanwho grew up in a working-class family in Flint, Michigan isn't comparingherself to the daughter of a CEO who grew up in Ann Arbor. That wouldn'tboost her ego, so she compares herself to those females who originatedfrom the same class and background, to point out her greatness.
Let's pretend that most of the girls who you have known sincechildhood only did some college or went to a trade school, but you have adegree, that makes you better. That popular girl from high school who youfollow on Facebook now has two kids and put on weight, you look betterthan you did in high school, that makes you better. Those basic bitches onsocial media who stunt with champagne bottles in the club and blow incometax money on designer bags, you know them in real life. Those birds workpart-time and still live with parents or roommates; you have year-roundmoney and your own place, that makes you better. You can sit there andpretend to be humble, and say all the polite things, but the fact is that whenasked what makes you better for a man than another woman, you reach forthose comparisons. Maybe you have sorority sisters or college roommateswho are doing it at your level or higher, but for the most part, thosestruggling chicks that you are related to, associate with, or constantly heargossip about, are the women you point to before pointing to yourself. Itisn't that CEO's daughter, who just became the youngest executive at hercompany, you are referring to when you claim to be unique and rare. Yourspecial is only special because you are comparing yourself to the basicwomen around you, never the most exceptional ones.
Here is what you fail to realize when you let your ego run wild. Menaren't dating from the pool of your friends or associates; they date from anentire sea of women, which is not limited to your background or yourenvironment. Black men, white men, Hispanic men, rich men, poor men,and everything in between, they cross-pollinate in terms of women. Theyaren't grading on a curve, which means you don't get a cookie for being thefirst one in your family with a PhD nor do you get a second date becauseyou've overcome the odds your cousins couldn't. The moment you beginthat date you're just some woman who went to some school and has somejob, and all that matters going forward is your personality type.Even a woman who doesn't have anything going for herself can spinher circumstances like a politician. "I'm taking night classes; I'm not goingto be a waitress forever...I only work at Wal-Mart because it's flexible interms of giving me time to start and grow my own business." No matter ifshe's a Bottle Girl at a night club or cashier at Home Depot, she can makeherself sound just as impressive as the next woman in terms of ambition.Men don't look down at women who don't have much. The stereotype of"don't ask for a successful man, if you aren't a successful woman," isunfounded! Look at who men routinely marry, fight over, and chase down.Men are more concerned with a personality type that shows him somethingdifferent from the last girl he took out. Nevertheless, these Basicas are onlya small part of the dating pool for men who aren't in lower-classenvironments. When men of a certain caliber date, meaning men who areequal or above you in terms of success and education, they aren't runninginto that many basics; they are running into women who shop where theyshop, party where they party, and live where they live. Meaning the womenthey encounter the most, have the fundamental things that any womanoutside of a hood or trailer park would have: Education and Employment.For a man, meeting a woman with a degree is as common as rain inSeattle. A woman with a full-time job who doesn't live at home is no longera cause for excitement once a man hits his mid-20s because the averagewoman tends to flee the nest after college. Your career or job title may bemet with some interest if it's something impressive conversation-wise, butin the larger scope, it doesn't matter to a man who has his own career. He'snot looking to network with you; he's looking to fuck you! Therefore, thefloor your office is on, the hospital you work at, the type of law youpractice, isn't going to make him see you as a must-have. Do you knowwho cares about how much money you make, if you have a new car, and ifyou own your own place? Users and Playboys! A man who doesn't have ajob or who is under-employed needs you. A user doesn't need you for yourcharacter or your personality traits, but for those materialistic things,because what you have now, will become what he has later.
If you are trying to impress James the Bouncer/Fitness instructor whoonly works 20 hours a week, he will be impressed with your degree, yourcar, your condo, and the fact that you don't need a man for money. James iscute and charismatic, but he doesn't have a pot to piss in, that is until hewins your heart. Once he wins you over, he now has a car, he now has acondo, and he has a walking bank run by an independent woman whodoesn't mind "helping out." Wake up!
A man who has dignity, even if he does make less than you, isn'tlooking for a sponsor; therefore, all that shit you have is superfluous in hiseyes. He wants to know the real you and discover that this real you is nottrite. An alpha male is not on the hunt for a breadwinner. Ideally, he wants apartner who can take care of herself and is impressive in her own right, nota spoiled brat with no drive, but ambition is a character trait which is notsolely defined by her job title or where she went to school. That means thata woman that works part-time is on equal footing with a woman who ownsher own hair salon in the world of dating, as they both will sell themselvesas go-getters. The playing field is not rigged because of a job or level ofeducation. Few women want to accept this because their uniqueness is tiedto them having made it higher up the career ladder than their pool of peers.A man could give two fucks about the girls you out worked and are moresuccessful than. Who are you really and how will we get along? Men won'tsay they don't care to your face, again, it's "Wow, that's great..." but theproof is in the results. Elite women can and will get passed over forratchets, Hos, or girls you would consider bums.
You imagine that a man looks for what you look for in a mate;physical appeal, but can bring something to the table. Men aren't wired likewomen. A man can populate his own table, he isn't hosting a potluck. Guysgo on first dates and try to impress women with the same typical things Ilisted; where they work and what they have because women look for thosethings. A man is often measured by his success, but if you, as a woman,show up on that date and aren't equal, he doesn't hold it against you. If youdon't have your own place, but he does, cool, you can still come over. Ifyou don't have a reliable car, but he does, cool, he can come pick you up. Ifyou don't make much money and can't afford the tip on a $200 dinner, cool,dinner dates aren't going to ruin his monthly budget. Providers do not judgewomen; takers do. Be proud of your accomplishments, but remember youachieved those things for your self-benefit, not to be more attractive tosome guy so he will choose you over the next chick. The most typical moveyou can make is to parade your success in front of a man as if he's neverseen a woman like you before. Trust me; he has seen women doing it just asbig as you, if not bigger, so what else can you point to that makes you rare?
You Are Not What You Can Do for a Man
Basic mothers passed on to their young daughters this idea that the way to aman's heart is through some form of domesticated spoiling. Cooking,cleaning, emotional support, even financial support, are mainstays in theJune Cleaver playbook. "No man is going to marry a woman that can'tcook," turned out to be as bullshit as the Mayan Calendar. Still, domesticskills, much like careers, are bragged about as if it gives you a leg up onother women. Men play along like, "oh you can cook? Let me come over soyou can prove it." He doesn't give a fuck about your recipes, he's baitingyou for a house date where you cook, and then he has you as dessert. Yourego confuses a man's spoiled love of being taken care of by a woman withhis actual love for that woman. A man's love can't be bribed with thosetraditional Kitchen Bitch skills, but he will always take advantage of whatyou're naive enough to give him.
When I was younger, I would ride around during the summer with myuncle who was a renowned ladies man. Every weekend we would stop bythis woman's house; I'll call her Ms. May because that's not her name. Ms.May would make these big plates for my Uncle and his henchmen, and hewould flirt with her, filling her head up with game that made her blush. Ofcourse, she would play it off as if she knew it was hollow flattery, but Icould see by the sparkle in her eye, that it was working. These were notleftovers; they were meals made specifically for him, and with love inhopes of winning my Uncle's heart. One evening we drove off from Ms.May's, and with home-cooked drumstick meat still dangling from hismouth, he looked over to me and said, "That's one simple bitch, rightthere." I never forgot that moment, and it often repeats in my head everytime I see a new generation of "Simple Bitches" attempt to win over a manby being a domestic goddess.
Ask not what you can do for a man, but what a man can do for you.That should be a motto to live by for progressive women, but how many ofyou actually practice that? When you are face to face with a man who youfind attractive, are you allowing him to sell himself while you sit back andobserve if he's sincere or full of shit, or do you slip into the habit of tryingto sell all the things you bring to a relationship? Typical women talk aboutwhat they can do, like a walking floor model, trying to auction themselvesoff to some dick who hasn't even proven himself worthy. Why are youtalking about how well you cook or how some ex-boyfriend's mother lovedyou? Why are you trying to paint this picture that you are a wife type thatjust had the misfortune of meeting weak men who couldn't handle yourlove? Brace for another spoiler alert: We men have heard your pitch before!A woman who is not normal doesn't have to advertise, her results speak forthemselves. You have to over-sell because men aren't buying! There is aburning need to be wanted by the men you deem extraordinary, and due tothis fire, that weak bitch part of you boils and boils, until it overflows andturns you typical. Let me show him how I submit, cater, and give him whathe wants because through these acts he will realize there aren't too manylike me. Making a man earn you is common sense, but when driven by afear that the latest Mr. Right will pass you up, you overcompensate. Givehim everything for free and watch how you get nothing in return but yourtime wasted.
You Are Not Your Vagina
When it comes to sex, let's be honest, those of you that aren't virgins findways to slide in little clues that point to how skilled you are in the bedroom.You're not trying to seem too nasty, but when the conversation toes thatsexual line, you make remarks about how your exes never complained ordrop hints about how you lay it down in the bedroom prefaced by some"if/when I have a man..." line to make it seem as if locking you down is thekey to some Fifty Shades of Grey experience. No matter if you'reintroverted or extroverted, you know that sex sells, and you play into that. Isaw a girl with big lips get offended when a man made a blowjob joke, thenten minutes later, she's making a Snapchat story in front of me, "Guysalways say my lips could put in work, but they'll never know." She wasn'toffended, she ate it up, and then used it as propaganda to lure in her onlineguy crush because she wants that image in his head.
For the first time in history, we have women being as sexuallycompetitive as men. You know of the term "penis envy," where a man triesto make up for his shortcomings by buying the biggest car, boat, mansion,you name it, to prove that dick size doesn't matter because he's winning inall other areas. There isn't a vagina envy, but it has become common,especially among millennials, to talk about Good Pussy Vs Bad Pussy. Theidea is that certain vaginas feel better than others. This magic box issomething a woman is apparently blessed with at birth while others arecursed with vaginas that don't satisfy men. It's an ego play, and unlikethings you can measure with your eyes like hair length or deduct throughtesting like IQ, you can't go to a specialist and come back certified withGrade A Pussy, thus any girl can say she has a legendary coochie. Thisisn't just something ratchet girls on the porch talk about while smokingNewport's. I see educated women also drinking this Kool-Aid. "I know Ihave good pussy, so sex isn't the reason he's [insert bad behavior]." Whathappened to cause these females to put so much stock in their vagina beingbuilt differently from the next woman? Men happened!Males are known to promote all kinds of bullshit myths to flatterwomen and earn points, and the past few generations came up with theconcept of Bomb Pussy, Tight Pussy, Loose Pussy, Weak Pussy, and used itto either praise the woman they were with or slander a girl who they are nolonger with. Vagina quality is propaganda built around the fact that nowoman has the power to sample another vagina with a penis to see how itactually feels. Put your finger in it, taste it, grab a toy, but there is no way toexperience what a man experiences during vaginal intercourse. This soundslike a harmless ego stroke, but sex is another crutch that props up falseconfidence. Sex baiting works in terms of Ho Tactics or general seduction,because men think with their dicks, making it easy to keep a man's attentionbefore you have sex just by talking about how good you are at it. Whathappens after you actually bust it open? Does a vagina that was called "bestever" actually get you what you want in terms of love or commitment? Hellno! All vagina is comparable in terms of feeling. If he thrusts, he will cum.It doesn't matter if it's tight from non-use or a bit easier to get in due toactive use, if he can maintain an erection he will cum from the in out, in outfriction, it's not rocket science. Ooo! You get super wet...so does the nextwoman when aroused. It's not "super soaker pussy" it's biology.
What really gets men off is the experience of sex. A girl who moans,a girl who talks, a girl who sucks her own breast, a girl who rubs herclitoris, that can upgrade the actual physical feeling, because sex is mental.If any of those things mesh with what a man finds sexually appealing, hewill value that experience more than a girl who simply laid there like acorpse bride. The point being, just your vagina spread open, is not a uniqueforce that acts as an emotional magnet where a man falls in love or refusesto leave it. The woman connected to the vagina is what leaves theimpression! Even if you end up walking down the aisle, it won't be yourvagina that led to his choice, just as it won't be your career, or your abilityto cook, those are all false confidence crutches. You claim that he's notgoing anywhere because your Aquafina is the fountain of youth, but whathappened to the last few men you slept with? Where they at tho? Not withyou! You say that he's going to want to lock you down once he hits it once.Why didn't those other guys lock you down after hitting it multiple times?Your pussy drives men crazy...so crazy that they fall out of love and end upwith other women. You had sex with a guy who praised you, would comeover late to get some, and even when you broke up, he still came back to hitit. This is normal male behavior, not evidence of mutant pussy. Yourpower isn't in your pussy; it's in the promotion of that pussy. All men arethirsty for sex--fact. To tease him as if he can't handle it, he's not ready,your exes always came fast, or any other sexually dominant idea will drivehim into a frenzy. He will do all kinds of romantic things, say all kinds offake deep words, and tell other people how you're his...that does not meanyou have control over him or that you are even special to him.
I've sampled more than a few boxes and told some tall tales abouthow great they were during and after sex, so allow me to clear up a man'smindset when you try to play this pussy whip game. Once you give it up,the hype is over. Maybe you're Sasha Grey nasty, but that isn't going to buyyou love. I've personally had incredible sex with women who I didn't evenbother to see again. They lived up to the hype, but once the lust was gone, Irealized that I didn't click with them personality wise. A part of me wantedto hit it again, but I didn't even feel like going through the effort of fakinglike I was interested just to get a quick nut. As a counter to that, I hadextremely boring sex with this girl who was funny and personable, andbecause I enjoyed her company, she became my girlfriend for a time.Think about what that means practically. The woman who shinesbright in the bedroom doesn't get as far as the woman who shines brightoutside of the bedroom. Even boring sex ends in ejaculation, and as acouple you two can always upgrade the freakiness, so why would any manput up with a typical girl for a nut he can reach just as easy elsewhere? Hecalls you "amazing" because he came, he calls her "wack" because hecouldn't maintain a full erection, and needs to place blame for his flaccidpenis on someone other than himself. You may mentally stimulate a man towhere he wants round after round, but what does that buy you? Notcommitment. So what do you get out of saying, "I got that good good,"besides attention?
A guy drove miles to have sex with you, don't feel special, otherwomen have that same story. An ex is still trying to hit it even though he'snow engaged, don't feel special, other women have that same story. A guywho comes quick each time, a guy who was talking marriage after sex, aguy who wanted to cum in you and have kids, a guy who brags to hisfriends about you, a guy who wrote poetry about your sugar walls, a guywho cries when he orgasms, a guy who says he's going to leave his girl, aguy who paid your rent afterwards, and the list goes on and on...becauseit's common. Name something that your vagina had a man doing, and thereare thousands of other women that can say, "me too." A so-called "bombpussy" is extremely common, a bomb personality, now that's the rarity.
You Are Not Your Looks
Show Tina Typical a picture of a girl who got married, and her internalreaction would be, superior jealousy, "I look better than that troll, what didshe do to get him, suck his dick with ferry dust?" or inferior envy, "She's sopretty, I'm never going to get married." Both are weak bitch reactions thatpoint at various levels of insecurities based on the looks of other women.Not all women are equally pretty, let's not bullshit each other by trying tobe nice and politically correct. There are women who you are prettier than,there are women who you are just as pretty as, and there are women whoblow you out the water in your own opinion. The great thing about looks isthat they are subjective and easy to upgrade, (more on that secret later on)thus, your physical appearance compared to another woman's should neverbe something that leaves you feeling hopeless or cursed. The problem is,you do feel self-doubt, it's not something that positive thinking has beenable to cure. No matter how you look, there is someone in the media orsomeone in your personal life to remind you that you aren't perfect. Thiscreates a game of cosmetic catch up for weak-minded women who don'trealize the fix is in. The beauty industry doesn't solve insecurity; it'sactually innovative in the way that it creates new insecurities. Straight hairisn't in, curly is in, adapt bitch. Runway petit is dead, voluptuous is in,adapt bitch. Slanted eyes are the new full lips, adapt bitch. Tastemakers tellpeople what was disgusting two years before is now sexy, and it leavesinsecure women scrambling to keep up.
The cheat code for low self-esteem lays in competing with otherwomen for attention. If you're unhappy with your facial features but have anice butt, you accentuate that in clothing and lean on swooping bangs tomake up for people saying your forehead is too big. If you're unhappy withthe build of your body from the chest down but have a doll baby face,you're taking pictures to accentuate cleavage and face, while cropping outthe rest. The result is you get attention for things you feel are strong suites,which makes you feel less insecure overall--but not really. This method ofself-love is like being a real estate agent that tries to sell an entire house byshowing one room. "Look at this living room, it's incredible... Thebedrooms are too small, the kitchen is outdated, and the basement ishideous, but this room is amazing!" You're not buying into your own housebecause with the exception of a few traits, you are unhappy with yourreflection. Self-love can't live in that kind of mind.
What do physically insecure people do to promote this idea thatthey're fine? They attempt to make themselves better at the expense ofothers. "All my house has is an amazing living room, but look at that housenext door; it doesn't even have that going for it." Tearing down whatsomeone else has while promoting what they have, is petty yet effective.This is where male approval becomes more valuable than gold. A womancan throw shade at a rival female, but it's powerless unless a man is there tocosign her superiority. Men know that women can be petty and insecure,and they exploit that. A man will ooh and ahh at you, look at you harderthan he looks at your friends, or give compliments that put other womendown. Not because you're all that, but because smart men know how topush the buttons of unconfident women. You are open to bullshit maleflattery; although transparent, because it helps to temporary plug thoseholes that you can't fill. It's not just men; it can be other women as well.Those that are built like you or who perceive the same flaws as you aren'trivals, they are sisters in the struggle. Together you can create a cult of fakeconfidence. Team Slim, Team Thick, Team Slim Thick, Team Dark, TeamLight, Team I Need a Team Because I Don't Feel Pretty Without OutsideValidation. Those bullshit affirmations take one aspect of yourself andshower love on it when you should be loving the entire package!There will always be women who a man will find just as pretty orprettier than you are. The same way that sex doesn't keep a man; looks willnot keep a man. Yes, you should want to look your best, you should be inlove with your mirror, but what you shouldn't be is Fake Pretty. Fake Prettyis where your self-image is fragilely built around the opinion of others. Youare only feeling yourself so long as someone else is feeling you. This isextremely important because most women I meet are guilty of this hiddendisease. To go on a date gassed off your body shape, then to have a manreject you as if that's nothing to him, creates further trauma and widensyour insecurity. To have a guy stop calling you and then pop up with a girlwho has a body that you won't ever develop naturally, sends your self-esteem crashing down. Women love to over-think, and when rejectionhappens the first culprit is always, "he didn't like the way I look." Youproject your internal feelings onto other people when things don't go yourway, and the most conscious source of imperfection remains physical looks.You're hoping that no man sees past your paper-thin confidence, thata guy likes enough of one thing on your body that he doesn't notice thoseother physical hang-ups that you see as flaws. The moment it doesn't workout you don't ask yourself, "Did our personalities connect in a real way?Was the conversation intriguing? Did I exude confidence?" You go back tohow you look because all the shit you talk about being sexy is lip service.Fake Pretty is tied to male validation; it's an idea that he will want youbecause you look a certain way. When you don't get the results youwanted, you pile on more superficial solutions, as if you can somehowbecome too pretty to be passed up or rejected.
There is no such thing as too pretty to lose! You can't build yourconfidence around your external presentation; it has to be based on internalbeauty. Defensively you can bring up friends or associates who you seewinning in terms of men, and say, "That bitch is dumb and boring. Youcan't tell me it wasn't her looks that lead to her success!" That's the typicalresponse. You don't know what a particular man is looking for or theconversations that are held in private that makes a woman you see as just abody, a must-have to that man. You're assuming that your personality isgreater than her personality, but you can't measure her intangibles. You'renot getting the same results as her, so you defensively point to perceivedadvantages such as her looks or the sex she's giving up. Stop trying to makeyourself feel better by condemning others through assumptions, and let's berealistic; looks do not lead to long-term success with men. Yes, there can beshallow bias in terms of getting attention easier, but in the larger picture, nomatter how attractive you are, it is not a golden ticket to commitment orhappiness. There needs to be something behind that face, because when youlook at the Mona Lisa every day even her magic wears off.
I often get pictures from the women who ask me for advice toemphasize, "I'm not some ugly girl," They think they're in a different boatbecause they are considered pretty, but if all she has is a look, then she is inthat typical boat. We live in a world where makeup can mask bad skin andcontour a big nose, where a girl can sew in any texture of hair, where shecan enlarge her breasts and ass with the right amount of padding, and anyrace can tan their way to a golden complexion. Men are spoiled withbeauty! But my body isn't plastic. But I don't need makeup. But this is myreal hair. So? Men don't care about the origin of her beauty, he's trying tosee her naked. Being pretty gets you chased after for sex, but is heinterested in what you're talking about? Is he listening to you or justimagining you on your back spread eagle? Lust gets you in the door but itdoesn't keep you in the house. A typical woman believes all she has to do isget in front of a man, and her looks will do the rest. You would thinkSephora sold cover-up for ignorance the way some women blow smoke uptheir ass. A man is not going to keep you around just because you're adime. The way you look, another girl looks, and all he has to do is log ontothe internet to find one that's comparable. So what makes you special in aworld of Kim Kardashians?
Killing Basica: Resetting Your Mind
You don't want me to be confident in my career, my money, my education,my sex game, or my looks...It doesn't give me an advantage in love so Ishould just be dumb, broke, ugly, and frigid... If that's what you took away,then this entire chapter has gone over your head. I don't want you to beconfident because you have "things" that every other woman can buy orget. I want you to become the type of woman who does things that otherwomen are afraid to do because you aren't held back by typical thoughts.Strip away all the bells and whistles, could you walk across a room filledwith beautiful, smart, and successful women, tap a man on the shouldermid-conversation, and imprint your personality on his brain so you becomethe only woman on his radar? I don't care what you have or don't have onthe surface, what really hooks a man is your internal truth.
This isn't about what you need to do or have in order to make a manwant you; this is what you need to become to surpass the normal femalemindset. Evolve past that archaic mentality that keeps men in control andwomen chasing after gimmicks that will help garner his love andappreciation. Spartanhood is enlightenment! When someone asks you whatyou bring to the table, I want every enlightened woman to be able to laydown her crutches, look a man dead in the eye, and say with conviction, "Iam the fucking table!" This isn't a playbook for certain women; this is areprogramming manual for all women willing to kill ego and embrace truth.I don't care if you're rich or poor, book smart or street savvy, built likeJessica Rabbit or built like Sponge Bob Squarepants, if you're a virgin or afreak in the sheets. I'm going to prove how easy it is to reverse yourfortune, be it how to meet men, how to date men, or how to regain controlin a relationship. Typical Bitches get Typical Results. ExtraordinaryWomen get Extraordinary Results. You don't become extraordinary byfeeding your ego lies or piling on at a cosmetics counter; you becomeextraordinary by rejecting weak bitch thoughts and awakening your innerSpartan.