Men aren't playing with a shot clock. There is no rush to grow up, so tospeak. Those males who are well put together emotionally or could beconsidered Alphas are confident that one day they will find a female thatjumps out of the crowd, blows his mind, and makes him want to drop all hisother women and settle down. Some call this the one, wifey material, or asoul mate. I call her The Game Changer. A man doesn't pressure himself toget married by a certain age nor will he seem concerned with settling downjust because he's getting older. He may make claims that he's looking forthe right one or say that he's ready to retire from the game, but his actionsremain the same. Why? He has faith that she will appear when she appears!Women, in comparison, are tied to a real biological clock in terms ofchildren, those that have a child or aren't worried about being a mom willstill feel this pressure internally and externally to find a man by a certainage to settle down with exclusively. This is why the love game is sounbalanced. One side is patient and laid back while the other is literallytrying to hit a home run every time they go out because there is a societalpush for girls to achieve lasting monogamy.
A man will enjoy the single life and continue to entertain what rivalwomen refer to as hos or sluts because there is no rush! Guilt him all youwant about how he's too old to be playing the field and how he is going tobe the last of his friends still out on the club scene, but he doesn't give afuck! A confident man trusts that his Game Changer will eventually come,so he enjoys the ride. Nevertheless, men today, even though they enjoy theirfreedom, have become jaded and bored with the pool of women.
The average good-looking, well-spoken man or financially thrivingman will have dated more frequently and had sex more often than hisfemale counterpart, which means he's had more real-world practice in termsof reading a woman's personality and crafting his own romantic persona. Touse a hypothetical, the man who you are most attracted to will have dated30+ women from various backgrounds over the past two years. All ofwhom said they were different, yet turned out to be more or less the same asthe last. Knowing that these men are exposed to various women at an insanerate, how will he know that you're Wifey or Pussy?Your ego may tell you that, "I'm a Game Changer, and the right manwill know it when he sees me," but does history prove this to be true interms of your past relationships? Let's not slide back into the placatingconcept who the man that you're looking for is out there looking for you atthis very moment. Instead of wishful thinking, you need to be able to pointto real qualities that make you the greatest woman in this universe. The onlyway a man finds out who a woman truly is and if she is worth giving his allto, is to test each one! All women are Pussy until proven Wifey! Take notethat a guy is not looking to disrespect you by not assuming you'reexceptional nor is he being misogynistic by not thinking of every woman hepotentially dates as a Queen. If a man doesn't set out looking to expose you,then he's opening himself up to be played.
The girl who is cool with Netflix & Chill on the first date. The girlwho claims that she waits until she's involved with a man for sex, butsleeps with him as soon as he tries. The girl who gets open off of moneyafter saying she doesn't care about materialistic things. Those women arelike the other 30+ he's played that game with over the past few years. Heput you to the test to see if you would let him get away with murder, andyou did. You didn't know it was a test; you were being nice by not makinghim take you on a real date. You were showing him that the sexualchemistry was real, by sleeping with him. You do like the idea of a manwith money, you only pretended not to so he wouldn't think you were a Ho.Saying that you are different, does not show that you are different. To showis to know, and your actions prove that you bow down to him like everyother girl. Sure, he may keep going with the flow and pretend that he lovesyou. But men don't love women like you. Game Changers get the worlddropped at their feet for fear another man will handcuff her before he gets achance. If you find yourself waiting under the pretense of "we're taking itslow," understand that he's full of shit and you've already been assigned tothe placeholder box.
Sex Is Everything & Nothing
Saying all a man wants is sex is like saying that all a business owner wantsis money. It's true at the basest level, but there is always a larger vision. It'snormal for me to receive emails from women who state the followingthings, "We never even talked about sex...He says he doesn't even want torush that...If it was only about sex, then why did he not go through with itwhen he had the chance?" This is where it pays to understand the biggerpicture, because you will meet a man who says it's not about sex, acts as ifit's not about sex, then you will realize after the fact, it was always aboutsex. You were used to a man playing checkers in an attempt to get youopen, you had no clue how to deal with a man who played chess; that's whyyou're left confused and frustrated. Let's start by examining what sexmeans to a man.
If there is no such thing as Kryptonian pussy, then what is the big dealabout a vagina that makes men jump through hoops, manipulate, pay, or flatout lie in order to get it from girls they barely know? A man will have aone-night-stand if the conditions are right, so it's not about needing to knowher character. A 3rd date ends in sex and it becomes the last date she evergets, with the guy confessing that he never liked the woman, so it's notabout building a bond. A man will sleep with a girl that looks nothing likehis preferred Instagram type, so it's not about looks. All the prerequisitesthat the average woman puts on sex, such as personality, connection,chemistry, even physical attraction, go out of the window with men. Theredoesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to whom a man will sleep with ifgiven the green light, but there is... It's not the actual feeling of sticking apenis in and out until he ejaculates, it's the conquest.
Every man who's had sex knows it feels great, but if all a guy waslooking for was that euphoric release he would be content with sleepingwith one woman for the rest of his life or masturbating multiple times a daylike when he was a teenager. A single man will have a Friend with Benefitsthat scratches his itch with no strings attached, but he will still be on thelookout for something new. Even in a relationship, men are notorious forstepping out to taste something new. There are women who speculate,"She's not putting it on him in the bedroom. He needs someone to throw itdown on him and he'll be satisfied." All bullshit theories. The hunt for sexhas little to do with what a woman is or isn't doing for a man sexually andeverything to do with what New Pussy represents--Conquest!Most of the girls that a man sleeps with, he won't have sex with morethan twice, he won't keep a picture of her to show off as a trophy, and at atruly mature age, he won't even feel a need to brag to his friends about thatconquest. Only the man and that woman will know what happened, andonce they stop talking, it's just a fading memory. Adult sex isn't tied tooutside approval the same way a high school or college guy's libido tendsto be in terms of notches. The reason a man chases New Pussy as opposedto being content with a vagina he's already had multiple times is the rush ofa new experience. Men have been thrill seekers since before they climbeddown from the trees. They are hard-wired to chase and then experience therush of the unknown. Skydiving, mountain climbing, party drugs, fast cars,backpacking through other countries, males need the adrenaline of theundiscovered. You may think of those things I listed as dumb, dangerous, orstupid, but males are wired for the rush.
Sex with a new girl, no matter if he knows her or if she's a stranger, ifshe's a 5 or a 10 rating in his mind, fulfills a need for adventure that can'tbe duplicated with something old and familiar. So many of these so-calledsex-perts come up with gimmicks to maintain excitement in the bedroom,but they don't realize that men aren't chasing a fresh coat of paint on top ofold coochie. New lingerie, still old pussy. New hairstyle, still old pussy.New position, still old pussy. The reason Ho Tactics worked so well wasbecause it hit at the heart of a man's self-destructive drive to conquer newpussy. The better the woman was at dangling her brand new box, the more aman chased and tricked to get it. Nevertheless, when you're not looking fora come up, and looking for love, you have to understand that it isn't just acase of men needing a woman nasty enough to tame him, it's an addiction,not with sex but with that adrenaline, knowing this goes a long way.
A man is only as faithful as his options. What that means is that aman with few women who find him attractive is no different from a manwho's a famous athlete that thousands of women find attractive, in terms ofhis lust for something new. Mr. No Options wants to experience the rush ofdifferent women, but he behaves himself because there are no serioustakers. Money can buy sex, and some men go that route, but for a man whoisn't willing to pay a prostitute and doesn't have women threatening tothrow it at him for free, he can't act out on that thrill seeking. That fire stillburns inside of him, but he is able to manage it better than the athlete, thecelebrity, or regular Joe who women find to be "dream guy" attractive. Forthe record, this isn't something that a man can't control, chasing pussy isn'tlike breathing air, any man can choose not to chase women. If one tells youit's uncontrollable, he's full of shit. I point this out not to make you see menas horny cavemen, but so you can stop lying to yourself about casting somekind of love spell because you had sex with a man. I want you to understandthat all men have a roaring fire that they walk around engulfed in, and asmart woman can use that to her benefit (In a non Ho Tactics way) whengaining power over men. We'll dive into this technique later on in the book,after you Spartan Up.
Going back to the opening example of men who tell you that it is notabout sex, who claim they are looking to settle down, and who are patientwith you... they are exceptions to the rules, right? Wrong. Here is a story toillustrate it. A woman I will call Pretty Eyes had a crush on a guy she wentto college with, and a year after they graduated, he finally made a move onher when they ran into each other at a store. Boy Crush admitted that heliked Pretty Eyes but thought she looked down on him. Boy Crush hadplayed ball, run track, and had a reputation like most student athletes. Hethought she would be turned off from taking him seriously, so he neverpursued. Pretty Eyes didn't care about that, she assumed that he just didn'tthink she was as pretty as the other girls who were around campus. Bothlaughed about the miscommunication and they started to date.
Boy Crush ended up over Pretty Eye's apartment on the second date,and things got heavy in terms of kissing. Boy Crush pulled back and said hewas in the midst of a vow of celibacy. A friend of his on the track teamcontacted an STD, and that made him put his own life in perspective. Sincethen, Boy Crush decided to abstain from sex until he met the right woman.Pretty Eyes nodded along, but she didn't believe it...until he spent the nightand didn't try to do what men typically try to do. Pretty eyes went with theflow, and week after week, it was just make out sessions. To see a man thatlooked as good as Boy Crush, stop having sex for something noble madePretty eyes respect his character. They continued to date for another month.Finally, she went down on him. At this point, the two of them beganspending the night together. Oral sex happening every night in terms ofPretty Eyes but Boy Crush never engaged...just received because for somereason, her going down wasn't wrong, but him going down broke his vow.Wait, it gets weirder. Three and a half months in, no sex, mostlyhouse dates where he either got hand jobs, blow jobs, or rim jobs. Yes,Pretty Eyes was eating the groceries. They weren't official but she wastreating him to all kinds of benefits that most men never get. Pretty Eyestold me these TMI details to brag. She expressed to me that she felt incontrol, the aggressor, the dominant force. "I know I'm a Spartan, youshould hear him moaning," was even included in the body of her first email.She truly felt that her mouth had turned this guy out. For the first time inher life, Pretty Eyes felt confident because she knew she had a man who sheknew wanted her, and it wasn't for sex. Her question to me was how to getBoy Crush to finally have sex. The email had a few holes in it in terms ofhis personality. For me to really assess a situation I need to know who theman is beyond the generic description of how nice he is and the things helets you do from behind sexually. She responded to my email four days laterwith these exact words:
"[Boy Crush Real Name]'s girlfriend came by my apartment. That's rightthis little bitch has had a girlfriend all this time..."
The story went that Boy Crush didn't want to have sex because hedidn't want to use condoms. Apparently, he burned his girlfriend before andwasn't about to make the same mistake again. Thus, he wanted to use PrettyEyes as New Pussy, but not actually penetrate. Remember, this isn't aboutthe vagina so much as the conquest. This man had managed to create a liewhere he not only got head, but got his booty ate, and all he had to do to gether to that point where she was being his oral savior was to play the celibaterole for a few months. Boy Crush didn't have to worry about wasting histime because he had in house pussy waiting. His patience and ingenuityallowed him to hit the jackpot in terms of kinky sexual acts where he nevereven had to go down on her!
The point is that men will play any position they feel will benefitthem in the long run because sex is everything, but it's also nothing. IfPretty Eyes didn't want to blow him or if she got pissed off about the lackof sex, Boy Crush wasn't going to lose out on anything. He would mostlikely have stopped dating her and found another girl to pull the same trickon. Yes, he was willing to risk his relationship, but he knew that hisgirlfriend would be more upset at Pretty Eyes for being a thirsty ho than ather own boyfriend who could literally say, "but I never fucked her." Theclosure between the two of them came in the form of a text where BoyCrush called Pretty Eyes, "A halftime Show," meaning she wasentertainment nothing more and then went on to talk about how he loved hischick (something probably added on so he could show to his girl to provePretty eyes meant nothing). Even with that text as proof that he wasn't everinto her, Pretty Eyes still doesn't believe she was just sex and blames hisgirlfriend.
This is one of my more extreme email examples but there are normalcases where a man waits for sex using the cover of taking things slowbecause of not being over an ex, gets sex eventually, and then falls backwithout ever spelling it out for the woman the same way Boy Crush did.There are others where a man spends money date after date, doesn't get thesex initially, stops talking to the girl, only to have her come running backfinally ready to give it up because she felt like he was authentic inretrospect. In both situations, women swear that there had to be more to itbecause sex didn't seem like an issue. That's the point! Men don't alwaysneed to pressure for sex, often the reverse psychology game nets them notonly the sex but a woman's trust and loyalty. At the top of I said there is alarger vision. A guy doesn't just want the sex; often times he wants thegirlfriend benefits... but in a controlled way.
Sex with random girls isn't something any man wants to do every week; ifit falls in his lap he'll take it as it comes, but in terms of working to get newgirl after new girl, few men have the time or energy to continuously play thegame that often. New Pussy joy doesn't wear off after one, two, or threesessions, it can last months. The objective is not to only find sex for thenight, but to find a girl that can last for a while and give him that consistentgirlfriend experience so he doesn't have to go hunting as frequent.Have you ever thought, "If he didn't really like me he would go callanother woman, he's not ugly"? That's a part of this hustle. So manywomen in typical fashion point to the man she's talking to or dating andthen point to the world of women he could have, and then come to theconclusion that if he is continuing to be on her heels that she means morethan those other women. I repeat, the short-term goal for men is toexperience a new woman; the mid-term goal is to have one or two on theroster that fulfills that thirst for a time. Just because you fit the descriptionof mid-term seat filler, doesn't mean you are his long-term Game Changer.Let go of the egotistical view that a man who won't stop calling you or whoalways wants to see you is actually into you, until you actually go throughthe vetting process. The best women to have on a team aren't going to beone night stands, jump-offs, or girls who are traditionally cool with a FWBrelationship. Men don't want the bottom of the barrel even when choosing agirl who is only going to be "Something to do for a few months." He wantssomething that is, at least, entertaining and who he can stomach for thosemonths...maybe even a few years, without getting annoyed.
To be a placeholder means that you're good enough for now, notthat you lack complete value. He sees something in you, not a future, but anice little run where he can get the girlfriend experience without feeling thepressure to actually marry you one day. Dates, Conversation, Fun...it feelsso real, and placeholders don't know they are placeholders. They thinkthey're actually connecting with a man because he does give you enoughaffection to keep you on his team. This isn't a case of being played in acartoon way, where a man just calls for sex. Again, a placeholder can go ona date and even get a verbal commitment, but that man isn't tied to her. Thatplaceholder knows that something isn't right no matter how many times shelies to herself and looks for hollow proof that this is real love.A Spartan would know what to look for and see through this hustle,but normal women tend to believe that if a man does certain things likespend time and money, that he's being sincere. Sex is the root of a man'sdesire even when he's waiting for that Game Changer, but he also wants awoman he can talk to and have fun with outside of the bedroom, therefore, aman is happy to come away with a placeholder that fits that description.Most women don't realize which role they were playing until it's too late,and he's already in the process of moving on. How could he just leave you?How could he just fall back like he didn't care? How could have try to havesex with someone you were cool with? How could he spend so much timeup under you, then let go so easy? Because it was an act! You think you're aGame Changer, but most likely you will turn out to be a placeholder. Howdo you stop this? We will get into the Spartan way soon, but for now, I wantyou to understand the mindset.
The older the man, the more strategic. A veteran doesn't always haveto play the stereotypical role of, "Come over, I want to see you," and try tofuck the first week he meets you. Time has taught smart men to unwrap awoman slowly because that method nets real girlfriend benefits. You can geta number from a guy next weekend, see that he's already coming off toosexual, and dismiss him. You don't need help with that. It's those men whoact as if they want you for which you need to be careful of because bymaking sex seem like an afterthought you become comfortable sooner. Hetakes you out, behaves himself, and talks on the phone daily with you bothteasing each other that you might misbehave. This is exciting, everyonelikes buildup. By the time, you get together for the next date he still behaveshimself, but maybe he starts to open up more, making it seem as if you twoare experiencing a real mental connection. Sexual chemistry doesn'tdissipate because you're only having conversation, that lust bubbles as ifunder a flame. The more you tease then pull back under the pretense of itbeing too soon, the more you want the D just as much as he wants the kitty.Within a series of weeks, you are on fire mentally and physically, and evenif you have sex, you're already broken in emotionally.
You may not be the kind of girl who does this normally, but you're socomfortable that you will begin to give him girlfriend benefits without evenrealizing that you've been dicknotized. You are used to the thirst buckets orthe smooth players who transparently try to get you open, but your bodyand mind aren't prepared for a man who's a chess player. From your pointof view, you had a real bond; he cared about you, but most likely you werejust being groomed for a placeholder position. For a man that can attract awide range of women, it's always better to hook a woman with value, whohas self-respect, and then convert her to that lowly position. Even if you seethat you're not what he wants or know that he's not what you want, but areenjoying his company, playing along is a waste of your value. Being aplaceholder is not a badge of honor, even if you are up on game, it's stillrelegating you to Pussy while he continues to wait for Wifey.
The Way to A Woman's Heart Is Through Her
Cheesy pickup lines don't work, but here's the catch; they aren't meant towork. In terms of instantly sweeping a woman off her feet, that is; they'remeant to break the ice so a man can start a more personal sales pitch. I'veheard more than a few women say something along the lines of, "He saidsomething corny, but he was cute, so I gave him my number," and that'swhy men don't care about how they come off initially. We're talking abouttop shelf men, not some dirt ball that screams, "Hey!" across a mall foodcourt or catcalls you while walking down the street. These men know thatthey're winning or, at least, have qualities that will make you see them asdesirable, so their only aim is to get the communication started so they canseal the deal later. Corny line, joke, a random observation, saying you lookfamiliar; it's all part of the game because 90% of women who areapproached by attractive men aren't going to shoot him down based on hisopening. Women tend to exaggerate who they will and won't talk to, but thereality is they are very generous in terms of giving someone a chance. "He'snot really my type," thoughts can still end with that man getting a date, sex,or a relationship down the road. We've all seen examples of this.What that tells men in general is that the chances of being rejected aremuch lower than what women claim. Many females talk shallow, but theircontact list and the men they've dated prove they aren't shallow. When youput this "I'm open to giving nearly any man a shot if he's nice enough"knowledge in the hands of a Dicknotist who has default good looks heknows he's going to be graded on a curve. In today's social media world, a"You look sexy," from John Q. Lame won't even get a response, but thatsame comment from someone looking like Chris Hemsworth has a highpercentage of getting a response back. Same line from both men, differentemotional reaction. It's the perception of what one man represents, be thatlooks or status, that makes a girl smile as opposed to roll her eyes. Thinkabout your life, there have been men who said things that made your skincrawl, not because of the words, but because it was coming from someone,you didn't like that much. To transfer that to a man you have a crush on,that skin crawl is replaced by a tingle. Men understand their market value!Which means men who know that you're interested also realize that unlikethe average Joe, they can easily manipulate you by using the one thingwomen say gets them nowhere--Flattery.
How can a man bond with a woman really fast so he can skip all thetime-consuming bullshit? Stroke her ego through flattery. This is so simple,yet so many women don't realize that it's happening while entangled with aguy they actually like. Let's put a lady on a dinner date with a handsomeman who has a good job and nice manners. He's already a better catch thanmost women are used to, so instead of looking to pick him apart, she issimply looking to impress him. Why do you want to seem impressive?Because you realize that the dating pool sucks! You are sick of the bar/clubscene, tired of trying to find a match online, and given the last few datesyou've been on you know that this man has attributes that aren't the norm:Money, Looks, No Children (which means no baby mama), and he's notbeing snobbish or condescending as if he knows he's hot shit. These thingsare considered high market value because they are qualities in a man youwon't come across every day in most cities.
A man knows his market value because he observes how women reactto him. A chess player will do the smartest thing any man can do on a date--he will shut the fuck up and let the woman talk. Go back to the typicalbitch achievements. This man will listen to you talk about what makes youdifferent, listen to your back-story in terms of family and boyfriends, and hewill be there to chime in with flattery. By the end of the date, he's tellingyou that you're a strong woman because you went through blah blah blah,that you're different from most because you did blah blah blah, and finallyhe'll remark about how he's been dying to meet someone like you. In yourmind, listing your achievements and your history impressed that man.Showing your credentials made him not only realize that you're special, butadmit it, and that boosts your self-esteem. Did you ever stop to question ifthis man says the same exact things to every woman who talks way toomuch on a date? No. You ate it up.
Women don't question compliments that come indirectly and point toreal things she's doing. Unlike some random kiss-ass comment about yourbody or eyes, positive words that pat you on the back or rebuts an insecurityis better said as a counterattack. No one listens to your sage advice in yourreal life, but on a date, this man asks your opinion and then remarks thatyou're brilliant because he didn't think of that. That's an effectivecompliment that is directed at a confidence hole that he's sniffed out. Mycousin Jesse and I were hanging with this girl who he was trying to getwith, and she was complaining about her neighbor only having a carbecause she claimed someone's kid on her tax return. My cousin was anexpert ratchet whisperer from a young age, and he told this girl that the factthat she was planning to go get her GED was the reason why she was betterthan the rest of the girls in Park Heights. He claimed she "wanted more outof life," and her ratchet ass ate that affirmation up like ranch sunflowerseeds. When dealing with women of any class, the same rules apply becausemost are chained to ego. It's not about giving physical praise, women getthat all the time, it's about assessing her insecurity and licking that wound.
There are two women whom Dicknotists eat alive: Women with trustissues & women who have been single for long periods of time. A womanwho's been cheated on, rejected, or heartbroken, will tell herself it was theman, but they don't believe that. You would think a man would get annoyedhaving to prove that he wasn't like the last dude, but chess players love thischallenge. It's actually easier to hustle a woman with trust issues becauseshe's looking for a reason to prove that it wasn't her taste it men, but thatspecific man who missed out on how great she was and then did her wrong.When you've been hurt, the best medicine is retribution with a new man.Although she's nervous about trusting a man again, her ego wants to provethere's nothing wrong with her. A smart man won't try to win her trust likea basic boy would, by proclaiming he's different from the rest; he willsimply rebuild her faith in herself as someone who has been a haplessvictim. A Dicknotist is on her side as a cheerleader, not as someone tryingto convince her he's different, that's the genius of his hustle. A woman withtrust issues should be on guard, and they are from typical male bullshit, butnot this level of slow sneak attack.
Those women who never had a real relationship, those who aredivorced and never got back in the game, or haven't seriously dated in agesfor whatever reason, are just as vulnerable as those with trust issues. Theabsence of a positive male force in your life creates a longing. Your familyor friends complimenting you gets old, "If I were so great, where's myman?" You need that male force, not in a physical way, but emotionally. Aguy who inspires you, who always has kind words about what you're doing,that genuinely feels good, but when life and dating have lowered your self-esteem, it feels even better. Ego strokes become heroin if a man knows howto use it the right way early on. The more versed a man is in saying the rightthings, the more a woman wants to talk to him, be around him, and sharethings she normally doesn't talk about until she's in a relationship.Friends argue, they exercise their opinions, and they only let you ventso they can follow up with their own take. Not a Dicknotist. A Dicknotistknows that you don't want a conversation, you want to express yourself andbe told that you're justified in whatever gripe you have. Had an argumentwith a friend--she needs to realize how good a friend you are, babe.Stressful day at work--fuck those idiots! That place can't operate withoutyou, babe. Self-doubt about a life choice--You know I believe in you, Ihaven't seen you make a wrong move yet, babe. It's chicken soup forinsecure souls!
Let's review. This Dicknotist has succeeded in quickly bonding withyou, earning your affection, and has become privy to all kinds of life secretsnot because he has earned it through time and revealing himself, but byreading off the oldest cue card in the world: Tell her she's great. Does hereally believe that you're Superwoman? No! He saw a way in, and he'spushing the button that will get him to where he wants to be faster. Whywaste a month dating, hours on the phone, constantly having to interviewwith a woman and answer real questions? Men know when want to get tothe point where they're comfortable, so what better way than to be ashoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and a mouth to praise? I'm familiarwith this hustle because the women who come to me tend to be girls whofell for men too fast, gave away too much emotionally, became addicted tohaving that man in their lives, and hope I can tell them how to "fix it" to gethim back. Their egos are so revved up that they don't realize, even when itfalls apart, that it was all a purposeful mind-fuck.
To lose a guy who quickly became your emotional crutch, even afather figure of sorts, will make you do anything to get him back. The sadpart is that your entire relationship was not based on your love of him, butof your love of how good he made you feel. He was your drugmasquerading as your savior. He had the potential of a boyfriend from themoment you exchanged numbers, he acted as if he was impressed by yourlife and your mind, he listened intently and learned more and more aboutyou, even the flaws and he didn't run; he still saw you as special. Whywould he play such a game? I've already covered the why earlier in thischapter. The real question is why did you allow him to infiltrate your mindso quickly? He was always on offense, never on defense, because menknow that if you get a woman talking about her, her, her, he'll never have todig deep. Men know that all women want is to be loved, to be seen asspecial, and for someone to be in their corner and believe in them. Sadly,most are so blinded by their own pride that they never spot this obviousDick Tactic.
Commitment Isn't Always a Commitment
What makes a man want to stop playing the game and settle down? That's atrick question because settling down doesn't necessitate that he stopsplaying the game. Even if you aren't seen as a Game Changer, a man willstill hibernate in your vagina, giving you all the surface benefits of being hisgirl, but his heart isn't settled, it's still longing for The One. He will playthat boyfriend role, but his effort won't be 100%. You have experienced thisor are experiencing it right now, a man who seems distracted, who keepssaying he cares, who claims he will change, but his actions repeatedly provethat he's apathetic. You're confused as to why your "boyfriend" isn't livingup to that title. You wonder why he even bothered to enter into therelationship if he was going to act indifferent. You place blame on yourselfbecause you think something had to cause this change. You search for waysto repair the relationship from your side of the ball as if it's all your fault.You're missing out on the easy answer that's right under your nose whereyour ego dares not look: He isn't invested in you because you're aPlaceholder!
You are not the permanent solution, just something to tide him over.No matter how good his mask of lies is constructed, the truth peeks throughthe longer you stay together. Most women are just something to do, the keyword being "most" so understand that you may be the rule, not theexception. We discussed the role of the placeholder earlier, but I will remindyou that this is not relegated to girls who are FWB, Situationship baes, sidechicks, or any other female you can point to as dumb because she'sagreeing to a non-exclusive relationship with a man she actually wants to bewith monogamously. Men get in relationships with women they don't wantevery day! The misconception is that you've won because he agreed to thetitle, not so. Be attentive, because he may still view you as lacking that X-Factor that he needs to actually give his heart to you. I want to dwell on thisbecause despite covering it earlier, I meet so many women hung up on theidea that a man doesn't need to lie or fake a relationship for sex orcomfortability because there are so many women willing to provide thatwithout a title. A man that's playing the chess version of Dick Tacticsunderstands there are women who allow a man to get the milk for freebecause she's thirsty for love, but who wants free milk from low gradecows?
These "It's whatever" girls who consider Netflix and Chill a real datearen't a product of a man having game; they are the product of their ownlow value. These women are emotionally malleable and filled with holes tobe exploited. They want a man to end their loneliness, so they makecourting stress free because they don't want to ruin the potential for love bybeing high maintenance. Girls like this are effortless pussy that any man canget within a matter of weeks, but remember, great men look for challenges!You can't keep feeding a Gladiator a bunch of peasants to slay, he wants totry his hand against a lion. Yes, there are other girls who are easier than youand more accessible, but you must stop assuming it's just about a physicalsensation of a vagina. It's the challenge of the conquest and theentertainment of the Girlfriend Experience. Remember this is a game meantto uncover a Queen, so how can a man finally reveal his Game Changer,unless he starts to go for more and more challenging women who have thebasic foundation of greatness? Placeholders make good practice becausethey are half way to Game Changer status, but don't know how to SpartanUp to reach that next level where a man would truly fall in love.
Seeing Through His Dick Tactics
Let's take the average Dicknotist and go through his motions. Let's namehim Rick the Dick, and imagine him physically as whatever your type is,don't dirty him up, think of him as your default "He can get it," mentalimage. Let's add some depth to Rick, he's upper-middle class in terms ofincome, two years older than you, with no baggage of ex-wives or childrenfrom past relationships. At first glance, Rick's market value is high. Hedates you right, is respectful of making an effort to be creative, and there isnever a question of who will pick up the bill. He listens wonderfully, alwaysasks follow-up questions, and remembers details so you're not constantlyrepeating yourself. Sexually he's a good flirt, not overt, but not a boy scout.When it comes to his own life, you know what he does, that he's beensingle for nearly a year, and you have the basics of why he and that last girldidn't work out. You get a skeleton overview of his family life and a fewstories about college and childhood, meaning you know enough to say youknow him, but you don't know him as deep as he knows you. That's onpurpose.
Like most early couples still in the dating stage, you eventually bumpheads once over miscommunication, but he doesn't let it drag out nor doeshe kiss your ass like a pushover. He shows that he can stand up to you, butis also sensitive to your point of view. Rick is doing everything you'retaught to look for, and the bond is already there. It hasn't been that long, butit's been long enough for you to have sex, and you're prepared for him tostart acting differently...but it never happens. Sex doesn't change him, andyou're starting to feel as if this is someone you can actually take seriously.One night you're hanging out, but distracted. Rick reads you, picks up onthe abnormal behavior, and asks what's the problem. You play it off, butRick the Dick already knows the answer. Any time a woman starts actingweird, semi-deep into dating, she's been over thinking the one question allwomen think when it's going well: Where is this going?Let's go back through these events, but this time, step into Rick'smale POV. He spotted you and thought you were pretty, exactly the typethat he's into, and he picked up on the vibe that you were someone hewould have to work for, not some goofy chick who would be easilyimpressed by his looks or money. At this point Rick doesn't know if you'rePussy or Wifey, how could he? At the moment of first contact and initialconversation, he's suspending his labels. Assuming that you'll probably bePussy, but given the way you look and the way you talk, he's hoping formore. The date choice is meant to impress you, to show you that he's a manof quality, he feels a need to overcompensate based on his initial impressionof you, as a woman with class.
Skip back for a moment, if Rick talked to you for a few minutesbefore getting your number or spent hours on the phone before he set up thefirst date, and automatically decided you were ratchet, basic, ghetto,redneck, or flighty he would adjust his game plan and went a different firstdate route. You came off as a woman of class, thus, Rick is going to godown the quality path to impress you. Now, on to the actual date.The first date is all about listening and learning. He's taking mentalnotes on you, what you react to joke-wise, what topics excite you, and mostimportantly what you're looking for from a man. Your last boyfriend, yourproblem with men these days, and your general attitude on why you'resingle. Rick doesn't have to ask obvious questions; his ears are the canvasand your mouth paints every picture. This Dick will keep the drinks flowingand your mouth moving. He knows half of your insecurities by the time thedate is over but still hasn't made up his mind about your potential.By the second date, Rick's talked to you nearly every day, has hadmore than a few long late night conversations, and having exposed all ofyour insecurities as well as your basic character defining traits, he's found agirl to compare you with that he used to date. You're a mix between Angelaand Kim, so he's going to push the buttons that he pushed on them to seewhat works and what doesn't work. At this point, he thinks you havepotential; you're smart, fun, and witty, but you're also typical in manyways. Rick doesn't care if he does something to push you away at this pointbecause it's nothing for him to find a new girl to add to the roster, thatmeans unlike you, he's actively testing you without fear of losing you. Themisunderstanding that had you two not talking for three days, that wasn't amisunderstanding, Rick set it up to see if you were going to flip out like abird or handle it like a boss. You didn't pass his test with flying colors, butit was enough to apologize and make it up to you because he realizes he'sclose to hitting that. Rick is prepared to wait for sex with you; he's notthirsty for a nut. He has an ex-girlfriend that's still open and a bottom bitchto scratch his itch, but he still decides to go for your cookies after the nextdate, and you give in. Sex is great like most New Pussy tends to be, and atthis point he could chuck the deuce, but he's actually enjoying yourcompany.
Rick has to make a choice at this point. He knows that you're not asituationship girl and that your attitude is already changing because you'renot used to having sex with a guy who's not your man. Rick loves that youhave those standards, and that you won't just let him fuck for free. Hedoesn't like that you don't speak up about this, that like Angela and Kim,you are content with dropping hints because you don't know how to saywhat you want. Rick is 70% sure that you're not the girl for him in the longrun, but you're good to talk to, and you don't annoy or act clingy likeAngela. You're not as smart or wild as Kim, but you have a lot more incommon in terms of family and culture, and that's a nice twist. Rick hasbeen gaming you this entire time, not by lying to you, but by remainingemotionally distant. He's wearing a mask because he doesn't want to wastehis time opening up his heart to Pussy. Rick sits on the fence in terms of ifhe should keep kicking it with you or if he should keep looking for what heactually wants. Rick's decision, like most Dicknotist, boils down to threethings: Current roster. Season of the year. His current schedule.
Rick has three girls on the team: A chick he's run through dozens oftimes and is cool with whatever aka the bottom bitch. A girl whom hehasn't slept with that he likes a lot, but is clearly entertaining other men,and not giving Rick time to get in her ear. Finally, Rick has his ex-girlfriendwho he can be himself around, who he can share real things with, but hedoesn't want her because she has massive daddy issues, and they argueabout the same things repeatedly. In terms of the current season, it is latewinter, so Rick could wait out and reload his roster in the spring, but thatseems too long to wait. Last on the list is Rick's life schedule. He doeswork a lot, he's not some deadbeat that can hang around chasing tail all thetime. It takes time and patience to break a good girl in. So there you are,looking like the best available option. Rick doesn't think you will show himanything to blow his mind going forward, but you're already broken in, heknows what buttons to push and what strings to pull for the most part, andthe sex is only going to get nastier and better.
If he chooses to try and situationship you, he knows that you willmost likely walk away or give him the passive aggressive treatment until hehas to walk away. You are attractive and you have things going for you, sothere's also the chance that some new guy or ex-boyfriend could win youback if Rick doesn't commit. Rick isn't into sharing and doesn't want thedrama of you trying to make him jealous by using other men like Angeladid or have you trying to give him an ultimatum like Kim did. It's better tosettle down and hibernate and hope that someone new pops up in the springor summer. Rick makes a decision that you will be his girlfriend, not basedon love, but based on convenience. You won't actually complicate his dayto day life, he won't have to do much to keep you happy but listen andmaybe do a nice thing once or twice a month, and the pussy gates are openfor business... possibly even raw sex sooner than later. You're about tobecome Rick's chick not because he's infatuated with you, but becauseyou're good enough for now. Welcome to Project Placeholder.
Fast-forward to you and your boo Rick hanging out, and for the firsttime, he refers to you as his girlfriend to the waiter. You try to play it off,but your brain's on fire. Is he being serious or joking? He does have a habitof playing too much... should you ask or should you just pretend you didn'thear it? Of course he knows you heard it, so maybe he's waiting for you toconfirm it. If you don't say anything that could be seen as a rejection, this iscrazy... you weren't expecting to hear that tonight. Truthfully, you werethinking about breaking up or, at least, asking him where it was going, butyou hadn't decided on what to do yet. Fuck, this is awkward! You're agrown woman feeling like a teenager, so you get a grip and decided to ask,"So I'm your girlfriend now?" Say this in an inquisitive slightly sassyway, so as not to seem either excited or turned off by the thought. Rick waswaiting for you to take the bait, and you did, now he claims you by tellingthat you are his woman. Now he follows up with flattery about how greatyou are, how he's been having the time of his life, and muses about thispossibly being something that ends in a family. Hook. Line. Sinker!Now you're free to drop that defensive guard. All that fear ofrejection suddenly lifts off your shoulders, this man is saying that he wantsyou, respects you, thinks the world of you not because of sex or your looks,but because he got to know your soul. You finally tell Rick how you feelabout him, and it's a love fest. For a moment, Rick feels bad. Damn, thisbitch really likes me...but he reminds himself internally that you and hewould never work for long, and just like that girl who he was with nearly ayear ago before the Kim and Angela experiments, he knows you'lleventually bore him and he'll grow distant. You're not the kind of woman aman like him loves, you're a placeholder. He deserves something special,something amazing, and while you're a good girl who will one day makesome other man a fine wife or baby mama, you will never be his GameChanger...
You and Rick toast to a future that he is already thinking aboutenjoying with another woman, while you feel overjoyed with reaching thefinish line so fast with this "good man" that you've been praying for. Inyour mind, you did everything right. You went on real dates, you askedabout his ex, you asked about his family, you looked for signs that he wasmean or an asshole, you waited what you think was long enough for sex,and you didn't pressure him for a relationship--he gave it willingly. If thisrelationship fails, it won't be because you didn't do your homework...andthat's where you're wrong. You dated like a Typical Bitch, not a Spartan.You didn't vet this man, you didn't test this man, and you didn't questionhis want to lock you down. No, you were not some basic bitch that alloweda man to fill her head with lies and fuck for the price of a Chipotle burrito;you did something worse, you allowed a man to Trojan Horse himself, notinto your vagina, but your heart. Men like Rick, these appealing Dicknotist,they take your pussy, capture your heart, and attain your love withoutquestion. In the end, you will waste months if not years of your time as aplaceholder, and be left asking, "Why didn't I see through him?"
Are you done being a placeholder? Are you finished with these typicalresults? Are you ready to wake up and start playing the game better thanmen play it? Or do you want to stay in this comfortable position ofvulnerability where you have to hope and pray that the next man you meetis genuine? You don't win at life by remaining the same! You either evolvenow or settle for heartbreak after heartbreak until you finally get the hintthat it's time to do better. Now or later, you will be forced to grow, and youmay as well face your fear and do it today! This mission is not about men; itis about Spartanhood, female superiority, and creating a Queendom ofPower where you don't fit into what men want, but where you force them tobow to your needs. You are Excalibur in the flesh, the epitome of a GameChanger, and you have a Universal Force inside of you that guarantees thatyou will win! The time for mistakes is over. It is time to leave the old you,behind, and become a Spartan.
Book of Spartan
Women are taught to sacrifice, to play nice, to live an altruistic lifebecause a good girl is always rewarded in the end. This is not a virtue; it ispropaganda. Submission gets you a ticket to future prosperity that willnever manifest. By the time you realize the ticket to success and happinessyou have been sold isn't worth the paper it was printed on, it will be toolate. Go on, spend a quarter of your life, even half of your life, in the serviceof others and you will realize you were hustled. You do not manifest yourdestiny by placing others first! A kingdom built on your back doesn'tbecome your kingdom, it becomes your folly. History does not rememberthe slaves of Egypt that built the pyramids, they remember the Pharaohsthat wielded the power over those laborers. Yet here you are, content withbeing a worker bee, motivated by some sales pitch that inspires you to workharder for some master than you work for yourself, with this loose promisethat one day you will share in his wealth. Altruism is your sin. Selfishness isyour savior. Ruthless aggression and self-preservation are not evil. Whyaren't females taught these things? Instead of putting themselves first,women are told to be considerate and selfless. From birth, they have beenbeaten in the head with this notion of "Don't be selfish!" Fuck that. Yourmother may have told you to wait your turn like a good girl, but I'm sayingcut in front of that other bitch. Club Success is about to hit capacity, andyou don't want to be the odd woman out.
Where are the powerful women? Those who refuse to play by those rulesand want more out of life than what a man allows her to have? I created acategory for such women and labeled them Spartans. Much like the Greekwarriors who fought against all odds, these women refuse to surrender andcurtsy before the status quo.
Being a Spartan is not about being masculine. It is about embracingthe full power of being a woman and realizing that men worship what'sbetween your legs and weaker women are infatuated by your control of it.Every female has the tools to regain this power and deprogram herself, butfew have the confidence to be unapologetically aggressive and self-servingenough to wield this power. I want you to go deep inside and unearth all ofthose feelings that you hate to think about...how life hasn't been fair...howyou wish you would have made a different choice years ago...how you willnever win because the world is working against you. Confront thosenegative thoughts and take back control of your life. I don't care whathappened to you in your past, let go of those feelings of anger due to bias,discrimination, heartbreak, manipulation, and any unfairness. I don't carehow you look; close your eyes and let go of those feelings ofunattractiveness that keep you self-conscious. I don't care what yourperceived social status is, let go of those nagging feelings that you aresomehow inferior to the wealthy. You are a woman; you can withstandimmeasurable amounts of pain, show unconditional love, and give birth tolife. You. Are. The. Shit!
Men kill, wage wars, lie, steal, pay, beg, and betray each other forwomen. Are you really going to believe the bullshit that you are soft,replaceable, or just a sexual release? You are the most powerful of allhuman beings! It is time to embrace this fact and shake off the habit andtraditions that men have saddled you with in order to keep you obedient andunsure of your place in this world. Take some time to appreciate howimportant you are in regards to the role you play in this Universe. Spend amoment basking in how potentially great you could be once you had theself-esteem and confidence not to give a fuck. What do you have to fearfrom a man rejecting you, a woman not liking you, or a group of peoplejudging you? Life is Sparta, a world tailor-made for the strongest women tosucceed and ingeniously designed to keep the weakest women in theirplace.
Spartans: The strongest women on the planet.
They follow no woman. They obey no man.
They aren't offended they offend.
They don't wait they take.
You are no longer a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, you are theslaughterer. You are a Spartan.