"I don't have something you don't; you believe something I don't."-- Jed McKenna
You aren't reading this book by accident. It found you at the perfect timein your life. The old way of thinking, of believing, and of doing has notworked, and it never will work. You are standing on the edge of a paradigmshift, and in order to move forward, you have to leave your defensive shellin the last chapter. You were offended by the idea of being referred to astypical because you have spent a lifetime building your ego up to believeyou were special or different from the majority. You were born a certain day--special. Your parents told you a story about something unique you didwhen you were little--special. Maybe a psychic, teacher, or even a strangersaid they saw something great in you--special. If you are so damn special,why are so many other women able to relate to your struggle? "I go throughthat too," is the glue that keeps you stuck to women all over that world, notbecause you're special, but because you're making those same mistakes. Ifyou can relate to the same messy situation a woman 200 miles away canrelate to, what does that make you? If you can empathize with thestereotype of all men do is lie and cum fast, what does that make you? Ican't stress enough how many women I come across looking for my help,from Canada, Germany, the UK, all the way back to the States, and it's thesame old song. Your current life is no more special than the average personwho also thinks they're "blessed and highly favored." Being special hasnothing to do with money, fame, or any egotistical thing someone saidabout you. Special is defined as better or greater than what is usual. If youcan relate to most people, have the same problems, worries, insecurities,and beliefs, how could you possibly be special?Over the years, you needed ego's fuel in order to keep pushingforward. You needed something to believe in that told you your story wouldend differently than everyone else's. Some women I've met have bragged tome about how they were an exception to some rule, only to later confess tome that they don't actually believe in themselves the way they pretended.Results don't lie and actions don't hide. You are not an exception to a ruleunless you actually shatter that rule when tested in real life. Not in yourmind, in real fucking life. You kept piling onto this invention of you assome "chosen one" until your ego became too big to be checked. Bylabeling you as Typical, I checked that ego. Now it's time to open youreyes, so you can finally live up to your true potential.
Why aren't you above the pack? Why are you constantly striving andstruggling instead of winning? Why are you lying up at night confused,instead of self-assured? If we are judging by results, you're mediocre andthat other woman is remarkable. Yet, there is nothing inside her that isn'tburied inside of you. What is really holding you back from being great? Areyou the type to create bitter excuses like, "They cheated to get where theyare in life," or harmonious excuses like, "My time is coming too..." Thereis no such thing as cheating at life because life has no rules. Furthermore,your time isn't just going to come because Karma has your back. How doyou know Karma has your back? Where's the proof that you are going towin because you are nice? Fuck nice. Your current life is held together bythe lies you tell yourself about your role in the universe. In order to not cryabout your current situation, you keep telling yourself it will get betterbecause it has to...but the lies aren't sticking as easily as they used to...youdon't really believe you're special or chosen. You don't want to think likethat, but you do! "What are they doing that I'm not doing," is a thoughtthat pops into your head, no matter how many times you open your mouthand pretend as if you are fine the way you are. Ego has you believing thatyour time is going to come. Reality is showing you that isn't true.Do you want to be a caterpillar that finds joy in crawling andcontinues to convince itself that it doesn't need wings to be happy, or doyou want to wake the fuck up and fly? You have become a bystander inyour own life. You wait. You complain. You stress. You pray. Why don'tyou take action? Because it is easier to think, "I'm a good person; life willreward me for being good, so all I need to do is keep down this path."Everything you believe about life is a sugar coated lie. You have alreadyrealized that or else this book wouldn't be in your hands. The age of waitingfor things to miraculously fall in place has ended. Defensive lies about howyou don't care, how you don't need love, or how you have faith that it willall work out in the end, are done. Life will not work out, and you will failunless you awake from this dream. Write down today's date, because fromthis day forward, you will stop letting life control you. From now on, youwill control life. If you choose to go down this Spartan path then there willbe no reason to lie about how special you are, compare yourself to otherwomen, or brag about bullshit in order to feel bigger than what you actuallyare. Your petty, typical, basic life has come to an end. The game is about tochange because you are about to finally grow wings.
Not all women are created equal, but any woman can rise to surpass herpeers, by simply thinking on a higher level. The mystery of greatness hasbeen under your nose your entire life. You have read about the secret usedthroughout history, laws of power mastered by warlords and entertainersalike, but you still didn't get the hint. Even confronted with this informationnow, you may not understand what it truly means. Don't play along just soyou can make yourself feel smart, because you won't learn shit bypretending. The keyword is THINK. Those that learn to think in a dominantway ascend. Lower level thoughts that cloud your mind such as who likesyou and who doesn't like you, lead to insecurities. Insecurities lead toworry. Worry leads to fear. Fear leads to desperation. Desperation leads totypical bitch conformity. How do I become popular like that person, richlike that person, pretty like that person, respected like that person, tell mewhat rules to follow and I will follow them because I want people to loveme, never want to leave me, and always think I'm wonderful. Every form ofmedia is in the business of telling you what to do to get things that otherwomen have. Examples of other people who achieved those things are usedto reinforce an idea that you need to wear this, eat that, go to this school,follow that doctor's diet tricks or this author's love tips, all so you canacquire what someone else has. The desperate chase for acceptance,popularity, and love leads to life living you, not you living life. It's time totreat the root, not the symptoms.
Insecurity is the root of weakness because it causes your dominantthoughts to be controlled by the fear of not being good enough. How canyou be confident in anything you do in life if you fear not ending up withwhat you want? How can you take chances in life that will catapult you toanother level if fear makes you play it safe? How can you express yourself,if you're worried about how you come off and what other people will thinkof you? Low thinkers have one thing in common; they are slaves to theirown insecurities. Women, in particular, fall into these traps the most, aproduct of living in a male-dominated culture. Told what they can't do, sothey don't try. Told what males love, so they conform to those traits. Thebiggest social conformity is the idea that women have to wait for Mr. Rightto come to her. If he doesn't come then she needs to improve her fashion,her looks, tone down her aggression and amp up her submission. Garbage!For centuries, a woman's place has been to wait to be chosen, and younever thought about why that became a tradition? Men have kept youchained to their approval, and you continue to fall for it! Don't chase boys.Wait for him to come talk to you. Let him call you first. If you can't find aman, pray harder and dab on more makeup. Tradition is a fancy word for"Stay The Fuck In Your Place." Spartans do not think on that lowfrequency. You are not born special you must evolve to become special, andthat evolution starts with one thought: I Rule This World.
There are Queens and there are peasants. There are those that rule andthose that are ruled. For the first time in history, you can choose yourhierarchy. Either you can be a Typical Girl who follows the Typical Rulesand believes in Typical Concepts created by others, or you can open youreyes and understand that only a ruler gains the power to create and dictatethe world they live in. No one has ever told you there is a choice, that thereis life outside of the Matrix, that the chains in Plato's Cave are shacklesmade of paper. Your life has been presented to you like a Prix fix menu,with one available course of action, do what society tells you to do!It's time to fearlessly reject the menu, dare to look beyond what's infront of you and realize that you're surrounded by a buffet. Think aboutyour own life for a second. At every step, you were told that life has ablueprint. Adults told you that if you go to school, get good grades, andpick a major or a trade that pays well, you win--financial success. In termsof love, you were told that there is also a formula. Don't be fast, look pretty,wait for the right man to come along, treat him with love and respect, andyou will be rewarded with his heart--romantic success. Has life worked outlike this blueprint? It hasn't because those people that feed you that stuff arejust trying to give you guidance because they themselves have no clue abouthow to live life without the rules they were given. How can an enslavedmind teach freedom? Read any historical story about success it willundoubtedly show you a person who went against the grain, broke rules,and took a risk that others said was insane or foolish. Everyone has thepower to think outside the box, but few do because the traditional blueprintseems like a sure bet, while coloring outside the lines seems like a recipefor failure. All of your life you were told there is a right way and a wrongway. You've lived in the footsteps of wishful thinking, and here you are,face to face with the truth, that if you really want to ascend to the next level,you must think different.
No one is going to reward you for being nice. No man is going to loveyou just because you love him. There is no Karma that will take you fromthe back of a line to the front of a line because you happen to be kindhearted. How long have you been alive? How long have you been nice toeveryone? How long have you put others first? How long have you givenyour all, secretly wishing to be rewarded by the universe for your purity?Has it worked? Has playing your position and being selfless actuallyimproved your life? In theory, you should have inherited the earth by now.Look around you, look who is more popular than you are, more successfulthan you are, and who has found love quicker than you have? The selfishrun the world! They don't play by your rules; they play by their own rulesbecause they aren't afraid to think for themselves. The rules of this worldare made to keep the peasants in check.
In traditional love and romance, men have held on to this power andoperate under a Master Morality. Women are to be submissive, humble,hardworking, self-sacrificing, and forgiving. Men are to be dominant,aggressive, managerial, self-advancing, and their ends always justify theirmeans. Who created those attributes? The Master. Who follows the notionof, "that's just how things are, but my time will come..." The Slave! Theidea of women as lowly, virtuous, and controllable creatures goes beyonddouble standards. This mentality has been so deeply embedded in yourmind that you accept it as the law of the land. Put a peasant in a cage andtell them they will be damned to hell if they dare step out, and you won'teven need a lock to keep them imprisoned. The hell that hangs over womenwho dare to think different isn't a fiery pit, but a life lived alone andloveless. Follow the rules and it will all work out in the end. Says who?You, the typical women, the selfless girls, the fearful females have beenbrainwashed into playing by the rules by those that understand there are norules. You have agreed to be a prisoner because you are too afraid to breakthe tradition of mental slavery. Enough is enough; it's time for a change.
Reframe Your Past
Who are you? Right now, you're a typical human being. Just another personwhose concepts, morals, and habits were influenced by things experiencedduring childhood. You are the product of other people's molding, eitherdirectly or indirectly. While you believe that you are a unique individual,your mind, your thought process, your "character" is an imitation of others.Your mother, your father, your aunt, your grandmother, your high schoolbestie, your college sister, or whoever it is that you've been close to at onetime or another. Children learn by imitating others. By the time you're anadult you've become an amalgam, and contrary to what your ego says, thereare few things that are explicitly you. In short, your past created yourcurrent world, thus, the past is the first thing that must be tackled becauseit's really the only thing holding you back. 90% of the women whom I'vegiven advice to start in the present, then once I get them to open up, theyslide backward to reveal that it isn't the current man or the current situationthat's casting doubt or creating anxiety, but their upbringing. You can'tchange your past, but you can reframe it in a way where it no longer affectsyour day to day attitude, outlook, or decisions.
Let's go to the example I call "C+ Karen's Story." This woman, I'llcall her Karen, shared a story that when she was younger, she noticed thather father would burst with excitement when her sister would come homefrom elementary school with good grades. Her father treated them the samegenerally, but at that moment, Karen felt like her Dad prized her sisterbecause she was "the smart one." Her dad never verbalized this, but Karensaw the pride dripping off him, and it made her envious. At this moment,Karen developed an insecurity that would define her relationships for yearsto come; a consuming lust for a man's approval. How did Karen, amediocre student, solve this issue of her father showing favoritism to hersister? She took a marker and started to change the grades on her papers toA's. It worked! The first time Karen did this, her father embraced her thesame way he had her sister...but it wasn't the same internally. Little Karenknew that she only achieved her father's love by cheating while the sisterdid it just by being herself. Nearly 20 years later, Karen came to me inshambles because her relationships with men were built on that sameconcept, embellishment. C+ Karen felt as if she had to constantly portrayherself as top of the line so that men would see her as special because shecould never be special on her own. The irony is that when you build yourlife on lies or act extra to gain approval, the insecurity widens. You're notreally A+ you're C+, a big fake ass fraudulent C+. Even if the men buy intoyour deception, you know who you truly are, and there's no hiding from thetruth of self. Some of you can relate to a story like Karen's quest forapproval. Sisters or cousins who were loved more than you were becausethey were smarter, prettier, or had more personality placed a chip on yourshoulder. Not a chip that drove you to find your own strength, but one thatmade you look for other routes to a man's love. Remember, a father is thefirst man a girl falls in love with, and to be seen as 2nd best by a man whois supposed to love you unconditionally is heartbreaking. So let's start thereframing process with Daddy Issues.
Daddy left mommy. Daddy was home but didn't give you enoughattention. Daddy had drinking problems. Daddy played favorites. Daddystarted another family...whatever it is that Daddy did in your story thatupset you, own it. Admit that you feel a certain way, don't suppress it as ifyou're good. If you were good, you wouldn't be so damn weak anddefensive. Females learn how to play defensive before they learn how toplay with Barbie because it's a coping mechanism. Confront your past, soakit in, now dry your eyes, and grow the fuck up. This isn't about feelingsorry for yourself; this is about coming to terms with what is really in yourhead. You want pity. Your life has been defined by some form of unfairnessor lack of love. Be mad! Feel robbed! Understand your anger instead ofignoring your hurt! This level of thinking cuts to the real problem more thanlooking for someone to say, "Poor thing. You have the right to be guarded,hardened, promiscuous, violent, angry, or depressed." So many womenwear masks that they only take off once they find a person to trust. Thatperson they confide in becomes their salvation because they need an outlet.You can't wait for someone to come along and absolve you of yourchildhood trauma.
Your internal strife can't be held back until you find a friend, mentor,or husband to finally confess to because that person may never come. Youmust save yourself! Take out a piece of paper, write down your frustration,and let it out. Go into a room and scream until you can't cry anymore.Meditate and place yourself back in your past, and confront it. Check yourown baggage by doing any of those internal exercises for as long as youneed to do them. Once it's poured out, Spartan up and stop feeling sorry foryourself! Fuck your excuse of a bad childhood. This world doesn't careabout what you had to overcome. Tell people your sob story, and then watchthem shrug, because you don't get a cookie for surviving trauma. Do youwant sympathy or do you want power? If you are ready to takeresponsibility for your life going forward and not keep pointing backwardto make excuses for why you're so broken, then let's rethink your life.What is a father? What is a mother? What are parents? They areflawed human beings ingrained with their own bias and insecurities. Youlove them, you look up to them, and you were raised to respect them as ifthey were gods, but they are fatally human. Let's begin with Dads. They'remen. Just because got your mother pregnant, doesn't mean they stoppedacting and thinking like the typical male. Some men worship their childrenunconditionally; the joy of fatherhood transforms them. Other men remainjust as inconsistent and petty as they were as teenagers. Having a childdoesn't necessarily turn a boy into a man. Maybe he had a baby with awoman he barely liked, the baby doesn't look the way he wanted his childto look, or doesn't act as smart as he would want his child to behave. Thatdisappointment is going to manifest through his behavior. Sure, he may puton a front like, "that's my princess," but he's dialing it in. Daddy may haveloved you out of responsibility, not out of a true fatherly bond. It happens.You are not to blame for the bias of an asshole! Is it your fault that hedidn't want you, that he doesn't love everything about you, or that heresents your mother so he resents you? You didn't ask to be born, youcouldn't control your physical features, nor did you choose yourintelligence or personality at birth. You are what you were meant to be, andthat is a beautifully unique creature with endless potential! Are you reallygoing to let some man who was most likely fighting his own insecuritiesdictate your opinion of yourself for the rest of your life? Your father was notperfect. He was cast in a role where he was supposed to be loving andsupportive, but that doesn't mean he knew how to be that father figure yousaw in movies or experienced at your friend's house. Understand thatDaddy without the title is just another dude trying to figure out his own shit.Understand that he is not larger than life, that he has weaknesses, and that itwasn't really about you, it was about him! Now forgive him, the same wayyou forgive any fool. Regret doesn't change the past and neither does anger.Dad was just a confused little boy and life's too short to hate low thinkingpeople.
The same rules apply to your mother. It's always interesting to see awoman idolize their mom and take her word as gospel without everquestioning who she is outside of that role. Just because she was/is, a strongwoman doesn't mean she knew what the fuck she was doing raising you orknows what she's doing currently when trying to tell you how to live yourlife. Think about your father in the terms we just reframed. If your fatherwas a weak and flawed man, ask yourself what kind of woman sleeps withand has children with a weak and flawed man? This is important to delveinto, as these days I find myself advising women who are in their opinion"good moms," yet are dealing with self-esteem issues themselves. I tend tosay, "Think about how this man is treating you. Would you ever want yourdaughter or son to know that Mommy is being a basic bitch?" It strikes achord. Just because a woman becomes a mother doesn't mean she's fullyadult and has it all figured out. Women, more than men, tend to be the dayto day influencer of what a child grows up to believe, think, and how theyultimately act. If these women today are coming to me in secret for help,imagine how many mothers from the past generations were simply holdingit in because there wasn't an anonymous source to go to and confess, "I'mlost, please help!" The well that you're gathering water from in terms of astrong female role model could be tainted. Your mother may sit and giveyou her opinion on men, tell you the mistakes she made, but is she truly puttogether or just playing that role?
One woman told me that her mother gives the best advice. I asked herto specify, what the best advice she received was, so I could understandwhy a woman whose mother gives perfect advice was still struggling. Whenthis woman had her wedding called off, her mother told her, "Everything'sgoing to be alright, he just wasn't your soul mate." Think about that. Momtold her that everything was going to be all right because of...what exactly?Mothers, like clergy, are in the habit of just telling you it will be okay, notbased on a real reason, but because it sounds nice and positive. Fuck that!It's all ego stroking that keeps you stagnant.
You are special because you're her daughter. Your time is going tocome because you're her daughter...that's ego. "God has you, have faith,"is the go-to saying for most, but that is not sage wisdom that helps you getto the root of your unhappiness. Again, I ask you to look at your mother likeany other woman and ask if she's truly Obi-Wan Kenobi or just anotherchick that had a kid and is learning on the job with mixed results. A womanwho refuses to divorce a loser can be a great mother in terms of nurturing,but that doesn't mean she has any real answers. A woman who divorced herhusband and has since taken up with a new man who's just as much as abum, can be a great mother in terms of supporting your dreams and goals,doesn't mean her opinions of your life choices aren't influenced by her ownjaded view of life. A single mother who raised you alone can give you greatadvice on how to deal with the men she fell for but does she actually knowhow to advise when a man is from the new school and doesn't play by that20th century rulebook?
Alternatively, females compete with other females, and mothers docompete with daughters. Just because she's supposed to be there for you,doesn't mean she's not capable of sabotaging you at the same time. Beingyour mother doesn't make her enlightened or even good at telling you howto live. You can't hold that against her, however. Just like your father, youhave to look at Mom as you look at any female. Understand her mind,forgive her if she led you astray, and going forward take her advice orcritique with a grain of salt because her insecurities may still be at play.No matter who it is that still haunts you from childhood, break themdown in your own head or on paper and dismiss them. No longer givethose people, or anything they did, power over you! What you wantedyour life to be at that age was out of your control. Few know how to parentthe right way because there is no right way to parent, it's all an experimentwhere you tell your child what you think sounds right. No matter if they areJanelle from Team Mom or Beyonce, a person can only raise a child the waythey understand how to raise a child. You weren't born to the Buddha; youwere born to regular people, and regular people don't get most things right.Child rearing is trial and error with the human psyche. You can point thefinger in hindsight and say, "You should have done this for me!" What doesthat really solve? There was nothing you could have done to change thatthen nor change that now...let go of that baggage; you've spent too manyyears weighed down.
There are those whose insecurities don't come from the Homefront.Their parents didn't create any conscious or subconscious issues, or they'vemade peace with parental issues and no longer carry any baggage. Yet otherthings from the past haunt them in the same manner. That first boyfriendwho broke your heart shows up every time you feel yourself getting tooclose to a new man. That close girlfriend who talked behind your back orbetrayed your trust, she made you view all females as connivingbackstabbers, now it is hard to let friends into your life. There comes a pointwhere you must stop using your exes, fake friends, or that romantic flingthat wasted too much of your time, as an excuse for your current state.People do fucked up things to each other, and most don't pay any price forthat. When you let what others did eat at your soul, you're giving themcontrol over your mind.
"It's unfair that he moved on so easy, and I still think of him." Thismentality is token weak bitch in its makeup. You must not waste your braincells or your energy waiting for present to make past right. There isn't somemagic force that's going to make him hurt the way you hurt or keep himfrom moving on because he did you wrong. This idea that God or Karmawill punish men who didn't love you is such a petty idea. You wantmystical forces to get revenge for you on mean people; you sound like afive-year-old. Blow your nose, pick yourself up, understand the lesson lifewas trying to teach you and evolve. Stop waiting for the universe to act asyour personal hitman, and know that carrying negativity towards othersonly affects you. There are countless examples of people that caused youpain that you can't shake, and it sticks with you regardless if it was back ingrade school twenty years ago or a break-up a year ago. No matter howburied or how fresh the trauma, you have to confront it, understand it, anddismiss it in a healthy way as opposed to suppressing it or feeling sourabout the outcome. Those repressed emotions will project out of you asattitude, bitterness, or paranoia, causing you to struggle until the day youdie.
Let's move away from the past in terms of specific people and talkabout specific feelings. An issue I deal with daily, when giving advice,centers around those women who are gorgeous physically, yet feel uglybecause of comments made during their formative years. There is a termcalled "Glo Up" where a person goes through a physical change andblossoms from Ugly Duckling to Swan. The internet has become a forumfor so many women where they can gather remotely and share that story of,"They used to call me ugly, now look at me." It's bittersweet because Iknow several women who post selfies, have an insane number of men likingtheir pictures but come to me in secret admitting that they still don't feelpretty. The past still reflects in the mirror because they can't shake theinsults or lack of attention that was directly tied to the way they looked.Smiles and glamour shots become yet another mask to hide internalfeelings, and no matter how many people compliment the new you, thatinward feeling of inadequacy never subsides.
The word "fat" can kill a woman's self-esteem for the rest of herlife... if she lets it. A comment as small as, "you've been eating good, Isee," is a dagger that a gym membership can't fix. No matter how fit awoman gets, the poison that was injected is rarely cured by simplybecoming a new weight. The same can be said of looks in general. Bigforehead, crooked teeth, moles, freckles, birthmarks, hair texture, ifsomeone can point it out and use it to make you feel like less of a woman,then that complex will remain until you deal with it mentally, notcosmetically. Little black girls, in particular, may have it the worse in termsof having their looks dragged through the mud relentlessly by fellow blackpeople. Growing up, I saw it firsthand with the "Black as hell, darkness,burnt, African booty scratcher, nappy head..." insults that were thrown atthe darker girls in my class starting back in pre-school. I remember sittingwith my high school girlfriend and wiping her nose as she told me abouthow she never felt as pretty as her lighter skinned best friend. Hercomplexion issues led to all kinds of destructive behavior during the timewe were together, and to this day, I continue to hear stories from darkerwomen who can't stop believing that men see their skin as somethingsexual but not loveable.
Lighter girls or those of mixed race were not free of stereotypical digsabout being "white, stuck up, house nigga," and the list goes on. No matteryour race or nationality, if you look different, pissy little kids or hatefulteens will find a way to single you out in order to make themselves feelbetter. To be discriminated against as a young girl because you look acertain way which you have no power over is a hard pill to swallow. Muchlike the father who doesn't think one daughter is as pretty as the next, orthat grandmother who favors one grandchild over another because, "shelooks like me when I was that age," you can't escape the feeling of notbeing good enough simply by going through a Glo up. You can use theselfie likes or the "Damn, I'd marry you" thirst as fuel to rebuild youresteem, but it takes more than a few years of praise to make up for alifetime of slander.
The true Glo up only happens in one part of your body--the mind.
Despite whatever trauma you've gone through--you are still standing! Yourchildhood was your childhood; it was meant to be that way because it wasmeant to build your character in a unique way. From your first love to yourlast love, from your best friend to your worst enemy, even being teasedabout your looks or the way you talked, it was necessary! The up's anddowns that made you hate yourself or hate other people served its purpose,and that was to place you right here, right now. You didn't want to struggle,but your current growth was dependent on that struggle! R. BuckminsterFuller said, "There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be abutterfly." The Universe isn't out to fuck you over; its sole purpose is tomake you over. You're about to wake up, evolve, and finally, gain thecontrol you always knew you were destined to attain. There is no "If I couldonly go back," because to go back would mean to change every aspect ofyourself. You weren't meant to be "her" you were meant to be you! There isno do-over, there is only do-now! From this moment forward, the past isjust a story, a prologue that gave you the foundation of your personality,nothing more, nothing less. Look back with Spartan eyes now. You don'tneed to hate it, love it, complain about it, or praise it. Your previous life wasmerely your Big Bang, now let's start building your true (Yo)universe.
Who are you? At this point, you should be a blank canvas, not confined tocolor within the lines of your past self. What does that mean practically? Itmeans it is time to find an identity. When I wrote Ho Tactics, somethingincredible happened. From the women whom I corresponded with, the onesthat had the best results did something I didn't foresee. They didn't emulateMaria the Ho, they became Maria the Ho. What was only meant to be acombined example of how women that I interviewed, who did these things,became an avatar. One girl from Austin Texas told me that after her secondtime reading that book, she decided enough was enough, and she hit aswitch. This woman stared in the mirror and decided that she was no longerSydney, she was Maria. She colored her hair in a way that felt like sex,dressed in a way that felt like sex, and spent the next week calling herselfMaria in her head. It worked! She went out the first week, sized men up,didn't go after any, but flirted with a few dudes that approached her as if shealready owned them. There weren't any homeruns her first nights out, but itreinforced that she could talk to men, read them, and actually flirt withoutfeeling stupid or awkward. The concept of Pussy Power without usingPussy wasn't something that stayed in her head as a fantasy, she tested it,and as I said in that book, "It does work!"
By the end of the month, she had approached a cute guy and got hisnumber, something that was a breakthrough given that she was deathly shy.A few weeks in, instead of being on his dick and stressing over typicalthings she used to worry over such as callbacks, does he like her for real,etc... Sydney-Maria didn't give a fuck, this guy was just an object, and as aresult of her Hoformation, he was now chasing her more. She took offSydney's weakness and tried on Maria's strength. The next few emails Ireceived weren't for advice on how to ask for gifts or about wrinkles thatcame up, just status reports on how she had this mark wide open. Otherwomen popped up telling me similar things. They didn't merely do whatMaria did, they understood the psychology, and they assimilated it into theirown mind. I knew there was a way for a woman with this same ingenuity tohit the switch in a Spartan way, but it would require sharing a huge secret...Confidence is one of those things people pretend they have in theory,yet lack in terms of actual application. They talk big, but when forced toshow they aren't typical on a date or in an actual relationship, they fall ontheir faces. Having someone tell you step by step what to do, helps manywomen get fast results, it's that habit of following blueprints that Imentioned earlier. Anyone can read a script and win so long as it stays onscript, but when the others start to ad-lib, that person who is tied to thescript will flounder. It has always disappointed me to see women come backto me at the first sign of a man not acting as she imagined, her confidenceout the window like, "He didn't go for that, now what? I knew I couldn't dothis, maybe I'm just meant to lose." That negativity was tied to their pastinsecurities. The moment a man went off script and didn't react in a way Ilisted, they froze like a deer in the headlights. That feeling of beingunattractive, the memories of once being rejected, it all came rushing back,and like Peter Pan minus the ferry dust, they came crashing down.Those women that failed didn't have true confidence. They neverbelieved that they could pull off seducing a man, so they followed myblueprint like a robot, but without understanding the mentality behind Mariathey couldn't adapt and conquer. In the Ho game much like the Spartan life,you will be forced to adapt, not freestyle, adapt--know the difference.Freestyling points to a lack of discipline in girls who think they know it all,but don't know shit. Freestyling never works because you're trying to take ablueprint that is proven and mesh it with that same flawed typical behaviorthat led you to look for help in the first place. To become somethingstronger is to understand what makes that creation powerful in the firstplace. Your character knows how to react without being told what to dobecause you aren't mimicking, you become! It's like actors who telldirectors, "My character wouldn't do that," they were just hired to play apart initially but they take it over! Heath Ledger wasn't playing the Joker;by the time that film was complete, it was the Joker being the Joker in TheDark Knight. You can't just play a part of a Spartan; you must become aSpartan. Now that you're free of your past, it's time to create a new you,one that walks, talks, and thinks like a Spartan.