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You only get one chance at a first impression, so let's start with the easiestway to tattoo a man's brain--The Screening Stage. Think of this as Pre-Date Reconnaissance where you're mindful that not every man that getsyour attention deserves to date you. A Spartan scrutinizes a man from themoment he enters her world. Red flags are missed early on because youdon't pay as much attention as you should during the pre-date. This chapterwill help focus you. The steps that follow do not require you to meet a guya certain way. I don't care if you met on an app, in a store, if he wasintroduced by a friend, or if you sat next to him on the train and asked thetime. The moment a man comes into your orbit, the battle begins. As in HoTactics, I will use a composite of various women that I have gathered datingstories from in order to show you how these steps can be done the rightway, as well as the wrong way. Similar to Spartan Phoenix, you will seehow a confident and powerful outlook will make previously scary situationseasy and stress-free. While reading, picture yourself in these situations.Visualization is key because you're actually going to do these things. Seeyourself in her shoes, feel yourself wielding her power. Let's call this Spartan Dater--Cali. Through Cali's eyes, we willconquer the most common scenarios you will face: The introduction. Theinitial reach out. The setting of the date. The actual dates. The Sex.Transitioning from dating into a relationship. Don't picture some superwoman in your mind physically, what Cali is about to do isn't because herass is a certain size, breasts are perfect, eyebrows are on fleek, none of thatshit matters when pulling this off. Everything she does is due to two things:Spartan Confidence & the ability to open her mouth and use that Spartanpower to get what she wants. That is all you need.

DAY 0: Setting the Bait

Nicole is ready for war. She's made up her mind that she wants somethingserious from a man. No more random hook ups, no more entertaining bumsout of boredom, no more wasting time on men with potential but no followthrough. If the vibe doesn't scream King, she will not be bothered. Nicolefocused in on her goal, transformed her mind into that of a fearless warriorQueen, and has begun to reshape her visual brand into that of a sexyhuntress. Nicole has embraced Spartanhood, and renamed herself Cali, toreflect her laid-back attitude and approach to her game. She has waitedpatiently for the right man to manifest, and now the time is upon her to earnher Spartan stripes by putting everything written thus far into action.

Step 1: The Exchange

Spartan Cali was in Starbucks when a man walked in, drawing hereattention without even trying. Handsome, but not overly pretty; businesscasual, but with his own style added on. This was her type visually.Unfortunately, this guy was too focused on his iPhone to scan the line, soCali missed her opportunity to eye fuck him like a fat kid eye fucks aKrispy Kreme box. Not one to chase, Cali simply waited for life to provideher with an opportunity to take. As Cali stepped out of line to wait for hermacchiato, she again glanced over to the line; this cute guy was still missinghis opportunity by overly eyeballing his phone. Cali remained patient, herown phone still in her bag, because no one in her current inbox was asimportant as adding a new member to her shrinking roster. Cali's macchiatowas ready just as iPhone Dick finished ordering, so she waited a moment tosee if he would come closer as she picked up her cup. Once again, iPhoneDick shied away, choosing to stand a few feet away, and not once lookingup. Cali stayed poised, walked over to the condiment table to add an extrasugar in the raw to her drink, and then there it was... her shot.

The barista called his name, "Latte for Stephen." Cali put the lid backon her drink and turned ready to conquer. In a page out of Maria the Ho'splaybook, she invaded Stephen's personal space and went to work with herpull game. "Stephen," she said with full authority as if she had known thisman for years, "Did they misspell the name on your cup too?" Cali was nowin his face with a slight grin. Stephen didn't know if she was serious orjoking, so like any man that's not used to women speaking first, he fumbledaround for a second before regaining his cool. He checked his cup to see ifhis name was indeed fucked up. Stephen revealed that they did ruin hisname by spelling it, "Steven." From there, Cali confessed that she wouldhave spelled it "the normal way," as well, poking fun at the actual spellingof his name with her own brand of tease-flirting. The two shared a laugh,and at that moment, Cali used her Goddess given opportunity to eye fuckhim. A woman who masters proper eye fucking doesn't have to say she'sinterested, a man knows. After that it became elementary, the "So are youon your way to work," chit. The "Do you live in the area," chat. In the end,Cali walked out of there with Stephen's business card, and a half-promise togive him a call sometime.

Cali could call Stephen that night and start a getting to know himconversation or she could send a cute, "it was nice running into you," textbefore bed. However, she isn't in a rush and realizes that giving him a dayto wonder if she was actually interested will make her that much moredesirable. Cali is a Spartan; she isn't worried about looking thirsty bycalling or texting too soon. This is a man she actually wants; she's notgoing to let gender sanctions turn her into some shy mouse. She's a lionessand she's going to eat him alive, but it's always good to play with the preybefore sinking your teeth in. Cali waits until the next afternoon to reach out.On her lunch break, she sends him a quick text, "Did I have you inStarbucks daring them to misspell your name again this morning?"Questions are always the best forms of texts, they exist to beanswered, unlike a basic, "Hey, this is Cali from yesterday. Hope everythingis good with you." That shit is sandpaper dry! Cali has set the bait by askinga question and making a joke at the same time. Any man who reads that willgrin. Within five minutes, Cali has a response back, "I started to go hard,but I looked around and didn't have you as back up." Cali grins; he's bothwitty and handsome. At this moment, Cali has all the power. Before he firesoff a, "How's your day going..." text that leads to chitchat that doesn'tmove this forward, she hits him with a to be continued reply. Cali texts"LOL" and tells Stephen that she will give him a call tonight after she's offthe clock... unless his girlfriend objects. This bitch is bad. Not only did shelay the seeds of "Call me, don't text me," she has also girlfriend checkedhim. Stephen responds with, "I don't have one of those (smiley sunglassesemoji). Cool. I'm usually home after 7." Mission complete. Cali only has towrite, "K" and keep it moving. Stephen meanwhile is at work thinkingabout this new aggressive female, and assuming that it's going to be easypussy...he has no idea he just crossed paths with a Spartan who is incomplete control.

Step 2: The Contact

Cali is not a robot. She feels the excitement of nerves that any womanwould feel when about to call a new man for the first time. This isn't fear,this is the anticipation of possibilities. Stephen could be fool's gold, a guyshe talks to this one time and gets turned off of. He could become a guy onthe roster she tests out for a month and then cuts when he starts todisappoint. There is a strong chance, based on the initial chemistry, thatStephen could be the one, not only her next boyfriend but her lastboyfriend. There is no way to tell at this point, so why even give those"What if" thoughts energy? Nicole would be over thinking everything, butnot Cali, Spartans don't sweat. Cali is about to bring the fire and do her partin presenting this man with someone who acts like a Queen, it will be onhim to respond like a King. If Stephen comes off as corny, overly sexual,dry, or starts to preach about conspiracy theories, then he fails, not her.Even when you are in pursuit, you are still the prize. "I went afterhim, so he's not going to work for it now," is bullshit. You took theopportunity to put your greatness on his radar. A gift fell into his lap, but heneeds to appreciate you and understand that dating you is a privilege, not aright. Any indifference or behavior that points to him acting too cool getshim immediately cut. Men still have to be men, even when you are the onethat initiates. This Spartan rule brings Cali back into focus. The nerves havebeen calmed, and now she can begin to visualize where she will take theconversation when she calls him tonight. Know where you want to end theconversation. You are not calling a man for the first time just to talkhim to death. You need a date, not a four-hour convo. After your first date,then you can begin the deep conversation stage. There is no reason to spillyour life story a day after meeting a man while on the phone. Becoming fastfriends is one of the tricks men use to bypass dates. Not here. Cali hasvisualized and laid out three points she will hit when they are on the phone.

A. Put Him at Ease with Conversation

B. Recon His Life

C. Date Bait

Cali calls Stephen and he picks up in his best smooth voice, whichlets Cali know he was already doing pre-game himself. Cali doesn't careabout Stephen's game or how he thinks he's going to lay it down. She's afucking Spartan, and she's going to control the pace of the conversation andlead him where she needs him to be by the time this call ends. Cali isn't acomedian; she doesn't have the insane wit of some geek girl that hooks menfrom behind her keyboard like some millennial Tina Fey. Cali knows herstrength is in her seduction and goes about teasing Stephen in order to breakthe ice. She asks if he let the phone ring an extra time to show that hewasn't thirsty. Stephen responds that he didn't have his phone by him,assuring her he wasn't playing it cool. Cali doesn't let up. She playfullymoans with disappointment that scheduling a call didn't get him so excitedthat he glued that phone to his hand. Voice emphasis on "Excited." Thevoice is sensual, the tone is playful, Cali may be a Spartan, but she'smastered the Ho Tactics that get a dick hard via inflection.

From that playful banter, she transitions into the nuances of how hisday was, what he actually does at work, and if he enjoys it or is this just astepping-stone in his career. These aren't big questions, just reconnaissanceto see who this man is in general. Cali finds out that Stephen is an accountrep for a heating company, just as his card said. It's boring work but getshim the experience and connections to branch out in a year or two. There isno need to talk about ambition or life's ultimate goal at this point. Stephenresponds with his own brand of recon, "So what about you, what do youdo?" Cali doesn't have the world's most fascinating job, so after she tellshim her company and position, she follows up with more seductivepersonality. Cali laments that she doesn't have her own business card yetbut she's definitely stealing his design when she makes it big. Notice thetechnique. A Spartan sidesteps questions about herself and redirects theconversation back to the man by keeping it light and flirty.

Next, Cali does what few women do; she admits her attraction in areal way. She openly tells him how sexy he looked walking into thatStarbucks, and then brings it to, "I figured that you were texting your babymama, the way your eyes were on that phone." Bam! She's telling this manthat she finds him attractive on the highest level "sexy" which translate inmale language to: She will fuck me. Once a man thinks he has a sexualgreen light, he's like a puppy on a leash, excited and trying to lead you, butstill under your control. The sneak comment about a baby mama also opensit up to another recon; does he have children?Stephen is passing the test. He has a decent job and ambition to get aneven better one. Now he reveals that he doesn't have any children, butslides in that he would love to start a big family when the time is right. IfCali were a basic bitch, she would say something like, "Haven't found theright woman yet, huh?" However, she doesn't have to relationship bait bymaking asinine observations or beating around the bush like an idiot. Cali isnot trying to put the pressure of her being the right woman, having his kids,or any long term thoughts in the mind of this man. All she wanted to knowis if he had little crumb snatchers walking around. Mission complete.Finished with the recon, and having shown off her flirty persona, Caligoes in for the kill. She asks, "So what's taking you so long to ask me out,sir?" Again, this is said in the right tone, with the sexual and submissiveword of "sir" added to show him she's not being bitchy or matter-of-fact.Stephen, like most men, responds obediently and asks when she's free. Caliworks a nontraditional schedule and her midweek is her weekend. Shedoesn't date for Stephen's Friday/Saturday convenience, so she tells hernew man crush that she is only free on Thursday. Stephen is nervous, he'snot sure if he should take control or let her pick a place. He steps lightly,asking her where she wants to go. Cali doesn't like that, he's the man, thus,he should pick. She pretends to think about, then sinks her fangs in with,"Let's have dinner this Thursday, but I'm going to let you pick the place soI can see how good your taste is, babe." Stephen begins to think of a place,but Cali's job is done, so it's time to exit. "How about you call me back thistime tomorrow and let me know what you decide on?" Stephen says he canmanage that and Cali tells him that she looks forward to his choice. Afterone last exchange of flirty banter, she laments that she has to go attend tosomething, but she will be waiting for his dinner choice. End of call.

Step 3: The Bait

Although it was Cali who went for Stephen in the store, texted him first,and even called first, it is now Stephen who is put in the position to show ifhe's truly interested. A Spartan does not assume that a man is interested, heis either smart enough to realize the treasure that stands before him or dumbenough to let it slip away. There is never a worry about coming on toostrong, or not giving a man a chance to show real interest. That phone callwas the bait. All men are hunters, they pretend not to like to work, but theyget off on it. Cali baited him with seduction and expressed her requirementto be taken out in a way that wasn't demanding or overly aggressive. Now itis up to Stephen to confirm if he is interested or not. If Stephen doesn't callthe next day, then his number is deleted, no second chance. That's how aSpartan rolls. If Stephen calls with some excuse as to why he can't go outbut suggests a house date alternative, Cali will tell him that she will getback to him. Not really. Number deleted! There will be no Come Over &Chill here, you fuck boy! This is Sparta. Anything other than, "I pickedsuch and such... is that cool... what time will you be ready..." and Stephengets deleted from her phone without mercy. It doesn't matter how cool hecomes off, how attractive he is, or how witty his conversation. A man'sseriousness must be proved via his actions before the dating even starts.That's how a Spartan fucking rolls!

Day 0: Recap

You may have gotten that, or you may be nervous and unsure if your verbalskills are on par to do any of the things Cali did. Let's rewind and walk youthrough this as slowly as Floyd Mayweather reading Hamlet.

Step 1: The Exchange - Recap

It doesn't matter where you meet a man or who that man happens to be.Chapter 7 showed Phoenix in three specific scenarios and this example hadCali meeting her guy at an ordinary place, randomly. It's never as hard asthe average woman tries to make it out to be. Why? Because when youdon't fear rejection, confidence comes easy! The only thing that has heldyou back from getting what you wanted was the thought of, "what if hedoesn't like me." That negativity has been erased, so what else is there tofear? There is no embarrassment to be had when you talk to men, so the realyou, the confident you, will always shine. The circumstances may not beideal, but you must not buckle. There will most likely be other peoplearound, strangers or friends. You may be several feet away from oneanother and forced to step out of your comfort zone and get closer. Be readybut don't force it. Know that a path will open up if you are meant to talk toeach other. Cali's path was blocked by a phone distraction as well as himbeing several feet away. She didn't walk away, she let the universe bend toher will. Cali eventually found an opening to get his attention, and that's allyou will need, a clear path to work your magic.

You cannot be overly reliant on eye-fucks and traditionalintroductions, know what opportunity looks like, and take it. If there is anopening where you can walk over to him, or call attention to yourself inorder to get him to come to you, follow your instincts and trust in yourpower. You will attract men, but that doesn't mean everyone that you wantwill notice you, walk up to you, and exchange numbers. Do not get caughtup in the typical world of waiting for a man to move first. Ask youruniverse to deliver and it will deliver, but you cannot be so shy that youstand back and let opportunity slip away because it wasn't delivered twoinches from your face. Spartans snatch opportunity, they don't wait forfurther signs!

The exchange of numbers sets the tone for the follow upconversation. Be confident in your initial conversation, as it will be the firstimpression you project and give you something to callback to later on. InCali's situation, she was able to call back that he was looking good in hissuit and had his face buried in his phone. She noticed the details and usedthem to get her prey open. Be in the moment! Also, avoid lingering around.No matter where you meet a man, at a party where you won't be leaving, abar where they are buying you rounds, online typing back and forth in anapp; get in your flirting, ask the small questions, and either lead him to takeyour number or you take his number. Don't hang out! I've seen too manywomen end up going home with guys from the bar. Kissing a guy in the carafter a party. Don't get too close too soon because your guard may drop,you will become comfortable, and real dating never happens. No matterwhere you are, escape. Excuse yourself after your drink and go to therestroom. Excuse yourself after a conversation and pretend to spot a friendyou need to go mingle with. Excuse yourself from the message chat, andtell him you need to log out and finish up whatever. It doesn't matter theexcuse, just find an exit. The goal is to get in and get out and save yourselfas a mystery to be unwrapped on a date.

Step 2: The Call - Recap

Most of you will have your number taken, and be in the position where youhave to wait for the man to call or text you first. This step still applies. If aguy texts you a few hours later telling you that he was glad to have met you,text back and tell him the same, but understand the goal is to transition himto a phone call. Follow up and ask if he's free to talk later on. This is whereso many women make a crucial mistake. They continue texting back andforth all day because it's not as nerve wrecking as being on the phone. Youmust talk to him verbally, not electronically, before you actually agree to goon a date. There is no, "Text Text Text, let's meet here, Emoji Emoji Emoji"bullshit. You aren't some Basica on a blind date happy to show upsomewhere with a stranger. You aren't desperate to where you say "yes"and go out with any guy that's cute and offers. You are a Spartan. Your timemust be earned, and these men can only earn that right by going throughthis Day 0 Screening Stage. Texting is a horrible way to leave an impressionwith a new person because you can't read the tone most of the time. Thetwo of you are assuming based on your own ideas of how those words lookon screen. Unlike your friends, you don't know personality enough to readsarcasm or jokes. Therefore, he can turn you off quickly due to youmisreading flirting as insulting or misreading a question as an assumption.Get off that texting ship as soon as you can.

Men are just as nervous as you are when first reaching out. To tellhim to hit you later can translate to you being too busy for him becauseyou're not really interested. He doesn't know if you are brushing him off orbeing serious about talking later. Therefore, you have to take control of thesituation and be specific. If you want him to call you, give him a time, andfollow up that you will be waiting, not in a commanding way, but in ahappy excited way by adding a meme or emoji at the end so he knowsyou're not gaming him. If you have a schedule where you would prefer tocall him, tell him that! Again, the fear is gone. Use your mouth and bedirect.

Always remember to have a time set and agreed upon. Too manypeople leave it open ended and miscommunication occurs because youdidn't check to see if he was free when you were free. Two missed callslater and it all falls apart because you think he's playing games when, inreality, it's on you for not specifying the plan. That may sound like doingtoo much, but too much of what, winning? Get what you want, and takecontrol while doing it so there is no room for error. If he doesn't pick up,leave a message. It's not that serious where you text after you call him likea psycho or flip out with an attitude because he wasn't around when he saidhe would be free. Remember, ego and pride are weak emotions. Let go ofattitude and anxiety, shoot your shot, and allow it to play out patiently.Alternatively, if the man calls you without texting first--good! This meansyou don't have to train him. You may feel as if you need time to get yourmind right and your goal visualized. Spartans don't run, they improvise.Realize that any man you meet could call in two hours or in two days.Know what you want to say in case of either situation. A superior warrioralways expects the unexpected.

The same rules apply regardless of who does the calling:Put him at ease. Recon. Date bait.

The initial date setting call shouldn't last more than thirty minutes atmost. If you find yourself on the phone laughing and carrying on, snatchyourself away because you're doing too much. The point is to find outenough to know that he's not some creep, that he's employed, and that he'ssane enough to meet in public. There is no need for a long conversation atthis stage, but you won't be able to help it if you click. If the two of you arehitting it off neither will want to get off the phone, but you have to exit in30 minutes or less. Men have their own game plan; they get in your ear,flirt, put you at ease, and then get real familiar.

Here's where that has benefited me. By the time I once got off athree-hour phone conversation with this girl I met the day before, we hadbonded so much that all I had to say is, "I need to see you as soon aspossible, this chemistry is crazy." It wasn't chemistry it was my dick. Toher, it was a guy actually being blown away enough to want to skip workand see her, and that made her feel like hot shit. It wasn't so much mygame; it was her ego that led her to meet up with me the next day. No date,no real recon on me, but real sex. Be smarter. Don't let a man lullaby youwith phone boning before you go on an actual date. In terms of thequestions you ask and the answers you get, they won't all be picture perfectlike Stephen's responses. You may meet a man who may not have a greatjob or doesn't want to tell you what he does. It's very important to knowthese things before you go on a date, so don't be afraid to press. No womanshould agree to meet out in public with "Tavon who does a bit ofeverything." If your friend were to try to file a missing person's report, it'sbetter that she knows that you were going out with Tavon who worked atGeneral Motors. "I get money" or "I work for my Uncle," isn't arespectable response. Position--does he have one? Not all men will betruthful, but at least, do your part.

You may get a man who has children. You have to decide if that is adeal breaker for you right then and there. My friend told me how she dateda guy who met all her qualifications and then some, but he had onedrawback, a young child. He looked so good that she revamped her viewson men with kids like, "I'll play step mom, he's that fine!" After weeks ofdating, she realized that it was always going to be a deal breaker. Her lustfor him didn't change the fact that she was not about the, "My man has kidsby other women," life. She wasted weeks, when she should have kept it realthe moment he said he had a son. It's okay to have selfish standards, andit's even better to own up to them starting out on Day 0. If you front for aman and lie to yourself to make him work, it will eventually catch up toyou, causing you to back out after you put in this work. Be honest withyourself!

What if you are the one with children and he does his own recon? InSolving Single, I talked about dating with children, and I stand by the notionthat you don't have to volunteer that information until he earns a first date.However, it's never good to start out with a lie if directly asked. If he bringsit up during this first call, keep it real, and give him the same opportunity toback out that you would want at this stage. No need to get defensive andsay, "Yes I do, is that going to be a problem," because if he agrees andfollows through with this date, it's not. Some men will lie to your face andsay they don't mind, then fallback using other excuses. Leave room for that.If he chooses not to call you back to officially set the date, good! It meanshe didn't want to waste your time. Men won't always speak up, so allowtheir actions to communicate what's real.

The final part is the Date Bait. Men don't always ask to take you outby default because we live in a world where guys realize they don't have tocourt for pussy the same way men of the past did. It is not that modern menwon't date; it's that they would be foolish to spend money when you maybe a Come Over & Chill type of girl. How does a man know that you aren'tFast Food Pussy? The only way is to test you by seeing what you allow interms of treatment. As noted earlier, typical women allow these goodlooking, gainfully employed, men to get away with half-ass dates. Otherwomen have lowered the bar, in response, you must raise yours that muchhigher. This doesn't mean you offer to take him out and go Dutch, it meansyou establish your standards as a woman that only goes on traditional dates.Cali used her sensuality to tease her prey into jumping at a chance to takeher out. Depending on the type of woman you are, there are literally dozensof ways you can date bait. Assertive: Check your texts, I'm about to sendyou the place you're taking me this weekend. Witty: Describe your perfectdate with me, so I can tell you the day and time this will happen. Cookiefrom Empire: I hope you're not one of these niggas that think you going toget my nookie with Hulu and a home cooked meal! Whoever you are, let itcome out naturally. Never shy away from establishing your standards.In the end if he doesn't want to take you to that place you suggest,doesn't give you his own suggestion, or acts as if he's going to be too busyto go out for anything other than a quick drink or a house pop up, then he isnot the man for you. I repeat, if he doesn't respond to the date bait byactually setting up a date, then his contact information leaves your phonethat night!

Step 3: The Bait - Recap

There will be women who find a man they really like and get over eagerwhile waiting to test this out. "But he hasn't called for me to do any of this!How long do I wait for him?" If you meet a man and give him your number,but he never hits you up. He doesn't want you. If you text him and he neverresponds back. He doesn't want you. If he waits a week to hit you up anddoes so at 2 am. He wants your pussy, but he doesn't want you. If you go tocall him and he doesn't answer or return that call. Say it with me--hedoesn't want your ass. This isn't about making every man take an interest inyou; it's about exploiting the interest that a man has from the start. Youcan't win over a man that doesn't see you as his type. Some males will flirtwith you, talk that talk, even ask for your number, but never follow up.Spartans don't sit around and sulk about what went wrong. The proof is inthe effort. If all the signs pointed to him being "different," then this is thebiggest sign of them all: He's not the one. Do not dwell. There are too manymen out here, you can't let the ones who don't respond be a speed bump.Day 0 ends with you setting that first date. If he doesn't make it to that part,then he doesn't count. Now that you know the steps to getting to the firstdate, let's get into the Day 1 activity.