Two successful dates out on the town and two weeks filled with candid andconsistent communication. What's next? A third date where you have sex?Do you have "the talk" about how you see him as someone you could bewith? Do you wait for him to bring the "R" word up? None of that shit. Youaren't hunting this man; this man is now hunting you. By dating in this way,you made him expose himself internally. If you were dating like a typicalbitch, this man would try the Push & Pull technique on you, where he takesaway his attention and forces you to run after him. Dating like a Spartaneliminates that because he has invested real energy into you to the pointwhere he won't risk reverse psychology.
The reason these steps are so specific in terms of questions, lettinghim talk, and keeping your mouth closed, is that men who tell women theirhistory, their secrets, their truth, are reluctant to walk away. If you followedeach step like Cali, your man will now be emotionally vulnerable. Thisdoesn't mean he is defanged and is no longer playing games, it only meansthat he is invested. No matter how cool he comes off, know that his feelingshave spilled into his hunt for sex. Unlike most women, you require trueeffort. You didn't say this, you showed him this during the first two dates.You are now the type of female he will respect enough to genuinely pursue.A Spartan will never have to chase after the title of "girlfriend." Aman will throw that title on you because you are now a must-have whom hecan't allow to remain on the market. Be selective. A man wanting youdoesn't mean he gets you. What you've done is vet this man enough toknow if he deserves a spot on your team, not vet him enough to be yourboyfriend. Being your boyfriend means something special, correct? Youdon't allow just anyone to come in and lay claim because they fed you andtold you about their past. Even if this man calls you the day after the seconddate asking you to be his girl, the answer would be a resounding, "No"!Why? Because that makes you a passenger moving fast inside of a car that aman is driving. You've impressed him, you've seduced him, therefore, hewants what he wants. Regardless, he's not in control of when you take aboyfriend, you are, and this is just the beginning because after the seconddate the rubber hits the road.
Making The Cut
Time is your best friend, yet women treat it as if it is their worst enemy.Going forward, you must check your "in like" emotions and take thingsslow. Being in like with a man feels like love because he consumes yourthoughts, pushes out other men, and when you're around him you light up.It's just a honeymoon high! You are supposed to like this man a lot, don'tsee it as "a sign" from the universe. He's told you his life story, but whathave you told him thus far about your life story? Nothing. These steps weremeant to protect your heart, not share it. The average woman, even thosethat claim to be emotionally unavailable, falter by putting too much into anon-relationship at this point. You have avoided over sharing your life storyand avoided making him the center of your daily life, and now that's goingto pay off. He's not your friend, he's not your bae, he's not your man; he'sa new recruit who just made it through basic training. A man doesn't gostraight from basic training to leading the platoon, he earns his stripes."But I want to give him his stripes, he does something to me that Inever felt and he's been a perfect gentleman. Why can't he just be myboyfriend or just a guy I date exclusively at this point?" If your brain wavesare still set to those pathetic thoughts, then you can't read! Don't forgetwhere we started, you were accepting applications not promoting a man toboyfriend status. There is no exclusivity until he's your man, so don't fuckup by becoming friends with benefits at this stage. To get a shot at you ashis woman takes longer than two dates over the span of 10-14 days.The mission was to expose this man, find out who he was by makinghim drop his mask, then see if you were compatible by pushing him tomove at your pace on the second date. By the end of the second date, youare firmly in control of this man. He won't be happy with just dating; henow wants to take it deeper. This is as deep as he gets. No sex, no pre-relationship title, and absolutely no taking yourself off the market for him.He's in your company. Now, how is he going to climb that ladder to earn apromotion? The final step is to see how he handles his newposition.
Cali and Stephen have been talking normally for the past two dayssince their date. They joke during the day, talk at night, and it's as if nothinghas changed. It's now time to see if Stephen has been properly trained. Caliwon't ask for another date; she will allow Stephen to offer on his own. IfStephen is pushing house dates, then he hasn't learned what kind of womanCali is, and most likely, he'll be dropped by the end of the week if hedoesn't come up with another suggestion that fits Cali's status. If Stephenwants to slip into the routine of Cali always making the plans, he'll be cutjust as fast, she needs a take charge king not a sit there simp. The past twodates were training; a man has to pick up on how you like to be treatedgoing forward or he wasn't paying attention. Right now Stephen is up inbrownie points, but he's also one week away from being cut off if hedoesn't continue to work for this. A Spartan only leads a man to water once,if he doesn't figure out how to drink after that, then he fails. Bye Bye.Stephen finally asks Cali if she's free to meet up with his sister andher husband. They're in town for a day and he wants to introduce his sisterto his girlfriend. Pause. Stephen just made the first mistake of thisblooming relationship. He claimed Cali as if Cali had no say in the decision.Typical women would go with this phantom title and be excited, "OMG, hecalled me his girlfriend! I have a boyfriend!" Not in Sparta. Cali has plentyof men who want the title, she's not desperate to get rid of her singlehoodjust so she can say she's not single, that's basic. More than that, what doesStephen really want? Always ask yourself what a man's true motivation isfor wanting a relationship so early. This man barely knows Cali, the realperson. He knows her as the shoulder he's leant on, the fun time girl whosays random things, and has a basic understanding of the hobbies she's into.Cali hasn't talked about her exes in detail, her mother, her siblings, or evenher feelings on commitment and marriage. For all Stephen knows Calicould be a smart ho, seducing him with charisma, and one week away fromhitting him up for a tennis bracelet.
Like a ho's mark, Stephen is open, and when men are open, they tryto regain control. By making Cali his girlfriend, he protects his heart frombeing played because it's official. Those men who Cali may or may not betalking to, gone. The fear that Cali is going to hit him up for money, gone.By making it official, he also takes control of the pace and schedule of therelationship. Going out on dates, gone. Hello, house dates. Cali makingexcuses not to fuck, gone. You can't deny your boyfriend, so hello in-housecoochie. Understand that the title isn't always about a man wanting you; itcan also point to a man gaining control of a woman he's unsure of.Cali doesn't need to be rude, so she responds, "Girlfriend? I didn'tknow you had one of those." Stephen counters that it happened so fast, butCali is there to tell him, "Let's keep this where it is, daddy, I'd hate to havea false start to something that could really work." Cali is a grown woman;she uses her fucking words without fear of hurting a man's feelings. It isalways better to tell a man what he can't have than to give in knowing thatit can ruin everything you're building. A Spartan always speaks up, even ifa man won't like her response. For those who don't understand what a"false start relationship" is let's break it down. That honeymoon lust, thatinitial excitement can lead to going with the flow a bit too much. A manwill be obsessed with you, and you will be smitten with him. So why not betogether and see if it works? The problem becomes it was just a new personhigh, and after that wears off, you two quickly burn out within the next 3months. Basically, a false start relationship is so short that you barely wantto call it a relationship because neither of you were prepared, you just ranfull speed, and like a track runner, you paid the price for that false start.Stephen is a bit hurt, but tries to keep his chin up, still asking if thedinner date with his sister is cool? Cali would have normally gone, but shecan tell that Stephen is wounded and to sit in front of family and have tofake like his girlfriend will hurt him more. Men have insane egos, as I havepointed out repeatedly. A woman who can protect his ego in a real way ismore valuable than some chick that can cook, clean, and swallow. If Caliwere to make Stephen her man she would protect his feelings in regards tohow other people see him, and right now, she's going to show him that isher character by declining the invite. There is no need to have his sisterbeing blown away and asking, "So what up with that Cali girl, I liked her,don't ruin it." Men don't need the pressure of family or friends telling himto wife a chick that can only be wifed on her own terms.
Cali counters the date offer with her own reward. "How about thenext night you come over, and we'll order dinner and watch thatdocumentary I mentioned the other day?" Stephen was told he can't haveCali as a girlfriend, this is an ego blow. However, she was smart enough toreverse the momentum by giving him an olive branch. He can see her, nomoney spent, no getting dressed up, and he can finally come over. Stephenhappily accepts and his ego is now healed, but he doesn't know that he'sstill under Cali's control. She's not going over to his house. He is forced tocome over to her home field where Cali controls what they watch, wherethey sit, what they drink, and when he has to go home. While Stephen isthinking sex, Cali is thinking, "I hope he has a Pornhub subscriptionbecause his dick is going to be so hard when he leaves here..."This isn't a third date test that Cali is about to embark on. LettingStephen come over is the reward for making the team. He invited her out toa dinner, proving he now understands how to date her. For that effort hedoesn't become her boyfriend, he becomes the third guy who she'sofficially "dating" regularly. Now in addition to going out to places hepicks, taking her out to places she picks, she can throw in a house date forthose nights where she doesn't have the energy to deal with the world.There is nothing wrong with chilling inside after a man has proven himself.Cali couldn't lead with that, she would never allow a man over her houseuntil she vetted him over two or three dates and he passed those tests. Onlynow that her value is established and her rules followed, is coming over anoption.
Let's step back and go an alternate route. After the second date, Stephendoesn't ask Cali out, he instead asks her to come over. Cali isn't afraid tocome over because she's not worried about having sex before she's ready.The point is that the first two dates were training this man to pay attention,and here he is just trying to fuck or simply being lazy by not following thepath that was laid out over the last two weeks. This isn't about money; thisis about value. I make a big deal out of dates because it is the only actthat a man can do to prove effort. Not the way he talks to you, not howoften he calls you, but how he tries to court you! Consistently trying to seeyou in order to get access to sex, is lust. Consistently trying to see you justbecause he enjoys your company, is passion. Don't confuse the two!Stephen is only concerned with getting Cali alone, not to talk, but so he canget his dick wet. A Spartan knows a man will always want sex, but a manwho doesn't get the hint that she is not typical and keeps going full speedwith his dick leading him, has failed. As in the last example, if he wouldhave made a date suggestion, she may have canceled and let him come overto her place. Why? Because his intentions showed he knew how to treat her.This isn't a trick to get men caught up, it's evidence of his true feelings onhow you should be treated. If he doesn't offer a proper third date after goingthrough two great dates, he's not the one. If he can't do this simple step tomake the team, then he will never do enough to become a real boyfriend.Cut him.
In terms of cutting a man off who hasn't done anything horrible, howdo you go about it in a nice way? Do you block his number and delete himfrom social media? Call him and say, "Sorry it's not working but you'regreat," or maybe act like a boy and simply stop responding to calls? Fuckbeing nice! I don't care how nervous or shy confrontation makes you feel.You have to Spartan Up and treat this guy like you would want to betreated. If a man didn't want to date any longer, would you want him toignore you or tell you straight up so you're not left wondering what wentwrong? You would want the brutal truth! So don't be some pussy that beatsaround the bush or becomes passive under the cover of "nice" becausefaking the reality of this situation is far from nice.
Call him up, don't text, and tell him that it's not going to work. Usethose exact words. It's not going to work. He's going to ask why. Was itsomething he said? Yes, and be truthful here, "I thought we had anunderstanding, I'm not a come over to the apartment type of girl. I knowyou didn't mean any disrespect, but I showed you how I roll, and it seemslike you threw that out the window." He will argue with you, saying hedoesn't see anything wrong with a chill night for once. Your rebuttal, "It'snot about being inside, it's the fact that we're just getting to know eachother. If we were to become an item, we would be inside all the time. I lovewatching movies and laying up with my man, but you're not my man.That's earned with me." Voice inflection on "earned" and drop the mic.No more debates. No allowing him to come pick you up and take youout that night to make up for it. No hearing him out, so he can try to butteryou up. Get off the phone, even if you have to be rude and hang up in hisear mid-sentence. What this does is either piss him off and reveal his trueattitude. Maybe he will call you all kinds of bitches on the phone, go onlineand rant, send you a text the next day about how you're a stuck up cunt, orwhatever it is that men do when they lose. If he acts like that, self-hi-five,because you just dodged a bullet. On the other hand, and this is more likelygiven the energy he's put into you thus far, he will give chase in the properway, and tuck his tail between his legs like, "please, let me make it up." Youare allowed to give him another shot...
When you cut a man, he doesn't have to stay cut. This isn't the sameas dropping a boyfriend or even a roster member. He got cut early enoughwhere you can be understanding. He didn't comprehend the rules of datinga Spartan, maybe it wasn't due to him not paying attention, just a force ofhabit because he's used to Basicas. How do you know if he's worth giving asecond chance? When he calls you a day later or maybe that next week,asking to take you out, you will feel it in his voice when he apologizes. Mendon't like to admit when they are wrong. To call you, not to talk, but tooffer what you wanted from the jump, means that he fucking listened! Ifyou feel that his heart is sincere then agree to that next date, and let him kissyour ass. If that date goes well. That doesn't mean he's on the team. Repeatthis step. If he truly learned, he will ask you out again, proving that he isnow trained to your standards. Once that happen. He's made the team.
There is no need to go specifically through each date at this point, date four,date five, do this on date six, now follow up with that on date seven. Forgetthe date numbers. Once a man proves himself during dates 1-3, he's on theroster, which means you can ease up with being overly guarded. Just to beclear, you don't tell a man, "You're on my team." This isn't publicinformation. At no time, do you even mention the word "roster" this is yourprivate game. There is one final test remaining, becoming real friends.When people say, "I married my best friend," it's not to be taken literal.Even if you attract someone old like a classmate or childhood pal and makethem into something new, there still needs to be a re-learning period. Becoming friends on this level is about finding deeper things to have incommon and sharing each other's world more regularly. That's why he's onthe roster, it is a clear break from interview dating where you give himaccess to more of the real you in order to reveal more of the real him. Youdon't put a man on the roster just because he's been hanging around, hetook you out, or you think he's cute. That's not what a Spartan Roster is,that's a basic bitch roster. Basicas consider any man they talk to as on theteam. It makes them feel fake-powerful to brag, "I have four men on myroster," they aren't guys whom she vetted, they're just random dudes thattext and try to fuck her--difference. When a man makes your roster it's anhonor and it's serious, which is why your team should only include menwho made it through every test before this point, every one, or he's cut.
House Dates: There should be absolutely no house dates until after the 3rddate test. Make him work for the right to sit next to you in private. You maythink that the fourth date is too soon to be sitting on a couch next to him,but it isn't unless you lack dick discipline. Too many women avoid privatedates because they know they can't keep their panties up around a guy theywant. You can't run from a man, you have to test yourself, pass that test,and prove to him just how atypical you are in terms of how you get down.The average woman goes over to a guy's house or lets him over, and shewill let him feel her up, engage in foreplay, maybe even spend the nightwith him. Why? Because these women lack real resolve. They can't controlthemselves around a dick and know it. The idea that women who are Hoswill fuck any man that shows interest is overblown. The truth that I've seenrepeatedly is that the Hos cost, but the normal "I don't usually do this,"women are the ones who fuck quick and easy. Making it through a housedate will separate you from the Betty Bust It Opens of the world, andsolidify that no matter how horny you are, you have a Spartan discipline.A house date should have an objective. You're not going over just tohang out, it should literally be a date. If he wants to cook for you, then youare going over to eat as if it's a restaurant. You will talk with him. Help himwith his dishes if needed. Have a nightcap conversation and leave at arespectable time, same as a normal dinner date. Pretend his place is OliveGarden. It closes at 10pm on a weekday and 11pm on a weekend night. Seta curfew and stick to it. What happens is you will hang around until 1amunwind, and think that cuddling won't hurt. Tell yourself that sleeping overwhile he stays on his side won't lead to anything...and maybe it won't butyou're sending the wrong message. You are doing exactly what all womendo. Most women try to play tough but end up lying next to a man in the bed,his hands on her breasts, while she pretends to be sleep. He knows you wantthe dick at that point, and all the work you've done will go out the windowbecause both of you will be so comfortable that house dates are all you willwant to do because it feels amazing to cuddle with a man you like eachnight. The problem is he isn't your man!
If you two want to make it a movie night, the same theater rulesapply. Go over, watch the flick, keep the hands above waist, and once itends, maybe have a conversation. Nevertheless, you have to be out of therewithin an hour of the movie being over or you lull yourself into acomfortability that will lead to you doing something you shouldn't. I getemails from women who come off apple pie sweet, they're mild-mannered,talk about respect, rules, blah blah blah...and then they pop up, "I ended upjerking him off in the bed because I felt bad for not having sex with him."You should not put yourself in a position to be on his bed! You should notbe giving out back massages that lead to blowjobs. You should not begetting foot massages that lead to his tongue exploring your body. I don'tcare if taking your bra off feels like heaven, keep that shit on around him.Prove to yourself that you don't break by setting standards even when in thehouse. Just because you can do something freaky, doesn't mean you do it.You're not a 17-year-old whose parents are gone for the weekend, you willhave plenty of opportunities to turn him out sexually. It's much moreimportant to tame him and make him respect your discipline so that whenyou do finally have sex, he appreciates it.
Meeting Friends: Dating reveals personality because you place males inuncontrolled environments where they have to react. The reason why housedates should only be sporadic treats is due to the continued need to see thereal him before you can ever upgrade him from roster member to boyfriend.One of the biggest signs of true personality won't come from a one on onedate, but from a group date where you meet his friends or he meets yourfriends. This should happen naturally during the first month of dating. Thefirst two dates are too early to be hanging out in groups because you need tovet one on one, but once you go beyond the third date, start looking foropportunities to meet his friends or vice versa.
Let's say that you guys had a great fourth date where he came overand helped you put together furniture and you ordered food. He may feelthat he's going to do the same house chill session the next week, but youthrow him a curve. No matter if you have one good friend or a group ofseveral, plan something where they can meet him. It doesn't matter if it'sSix Flags, the beach, a friend's party, a cookout, or simply grabbing drinks.This gives you all time to interact for more than a quick "Hi. Bye." Youwant to create opportunities where you can walk away and let him carry ona conversation with your friend. When you go to the restroom, he shouldn'tbe stuck with nothing to say to your girls. This date, much like the seconddate, introduces him to deeper aspects of your life. Your friend or friendswill show you how he is in mixed company. It's not about them liking himor approving, fuck their approval; you're a Spartan you decide on your own.What it does is give you a chance to observe his raw personality. Similar toexposing a man as a narcissist or the jealous type, the things he says in mixcompany may reveal more than he would ever reveal one on one.
In terms of his own friends, don't be the basic bitch that moans, "Sowhen am I going to meet your friends?" That sounds insecure, as if youdon't trust he has buds outside of other women or guys he chases ass with.Allow him to offer. If he doesn't you can suggest things like, "The musicfestival is this weekend would any of your friends want to go?" or "If youguys want to watch the game over at my place, I don't mind, it'll save youmoney on drinks." Listen to who his friends are personality wise and offersomething based around that. If they're into sports, that's an easy sports baror in home meet up. If they're into music, mention a concert. If they'resingle, maybe a group club night so they don't feel as if they have to behavethemselves around you. Even something like a Grammy or MTV Awardsviewing party can be used to initiate this meeting. It's important to see aman around his boys because the character could be night and day.
Meeting Family: Unlike meeting friends, meeting the family isn'tsomething that you need to push for this early. He isn't your boyfriend, youare dating, so a man will be on his best behavior when his family is around.Outside of nicknames and old stories of when he was a kid, you won't learnanything about your guy from a visit to the family. A mother's approval ofyou isn't needed when you don't even know if you approve of her son atthis point. Too many women get sprung once they visit a guy's home, bondwith the mom or sister, and feel as if it's a family she could thrive in.Mothers, Grandmothers, Sisters, aren't judges, they are women, filled withtheir own animosity and bias opinions. If your guy is used to bringing girlshome, the women of his family will most likely be desensitized and justplay along. I was the king of parading chicks in and out of my mother'shouse, and my mother put on a nice front for all of them. A few of them,she would later say, "I really liked her," others she would roll her eyes at.Didn't matter. You don't need pleasantries that gas you up as if you'redifferent because you're not at this point. Even when a man says, "I neverbring women home," don't flatter yourself... I've said that lie too.Many relationship problems stem from the family not liking thegirlfriend, so you may think this is a necessity to weed out if he's a mama'sboy, a product of a dysfunctional family, or anything else that would pop uplater on. Trust that the deep family dirt will not come out at this stage.When you become a man's legit girlfriend, his family will then beauthentic. They will not waste time hating you at this "she's just anotherho" stage. If he offers for you to meet his folks, decline. If it's a wedding ora gathering in his honor, go because it's not a direct introduction whereyou're made to be the guest of honor. If you can, hold off on meeting familyuntil he wins that spot, as this is something you will need to vet as anofficial girlfriend.
Spending The Night: In a true roster, you will have 2-4 men, however,many you can fit into your week and for as long they remain consistent intrying to win the top spot. By the time you get into deep dating, you shouldhave exposed most of these guys. Meaning that no man should be on yourroster for more than two months. If it's been 60 days, and you're notready to upgrade a man to boyfriend status, cut him off. Not by beingnice because you have no real reason, but by being real, "it's not working!"You can never be afraid to hurt feelings and cut a man off, don't leave guysdangling on your team, it will come back to bite you. Keep your ship tight.Any woman with a roster of more than five men is "talking" not dating, andshe's also wasting her time because you should always be in the process ofdropping a man who isn't working out and picking up a new guy. TheseSpartan steps are set up to filter 90% of the men you meet that will wasteyour time. Look at your roster, and if it's too big, you aren't vettingproperly. I bring this up because spending the night is a huge step thatshould be reserved for that ONE GUY who is on the cusp of being yourman. You don't spend the night with a man on the third, fourth, or even fifthdate. This is a deep dating, first place on the depth chart, benefit.To have a roster of 3 guys whose houses you sleep over at any givenweek makes no sense. You may not be having sex, but you're allowing aman to be extremely intimate with you, and that's not something you handout. There can be only one. In terms of timeframe, spending the nightshould be done when you feel confident that he is a week or two away frombeing promoted. Why do it at all? Because staying the night, without sex, isa great character study. I'm not talking about if he leaves the toilet seat upor farts in his sleep, but real insight into his normal routine and habits. Hisplace will be clean, he will behave as if a girl is there because one is, but hecan't control other people. What you do at this stage is reveal how activehis phone is, and what his nights and mornings look like when you'rearound.
When you spend the entire night, his other girls will receive the sametreatment they get when you two are on dates, their texts and calls ignored.However, come morning time his phone will be blowing up if he has a legitgirlfriend or a high-ranking girl on his roster. Numerous women haveshared stories of spending the night (having sex) and finding out during thenight that a man has a serious girlfriend or a girl who is actually ahead ofher on his "team." One girl said that she was made to hide in the bedroomfor an hour because a maintenance man came over to fix a sink, and hislandlord didn't allow company overnight. Come to find out, it was theneighbor he was fucking, and the two of them had sex while her dumbasswas hiding in the bedroom. A man will lie to protect his roster at this stage.You can't ask him if he's been slowly letting go of his other women nor canyou demand that he stop talking to other women because you're notexclusive at this point. It's only dating and dating should never beexclusive. However, you can observe how he acts and find out on your own.If he's rushing you out in the morning, nervous about you touchingsomething, or displaying various other signs that someone is up to no good,you're still near the bottom. That's what spending the night does, youinfiltrate his routine to find out where you rank in regards to his love life.Start leaving things at his place. You're not his woman, but youshould now lay claim to his spot as the girl in first place. Spartan's ManifestDestiny, it's what your world revolves around, taking what you want whenyou decide you want it. Therefore, feel comfortable leaving your hair careproducts, makeup kit, hygiene necessities, and be sure they are easy to getto, not hidden. Dare any man to tell you that you need to move yourdeodorant from the dresser to the bathroom cabinet. More importantly,follow up the next time you spend the night. If things are moved and putback in a different place, you know he's had his other bitches over. Thisisn't to get mad over, again, not your dick. It's for you to gauge how serioushe is about you at this point. A man who is falling for you after weeks ofdating may not have given up other girls, but he will start to limit them tomake more room for you. Your products are merely a test to see if makingyou happy is worth pissing off other girls. Top priorities get to keeptampons in the bathroom, low priorities just get explanations of "oh that'smy sister's stuff." Be the one he lies to cover up, not the one that he hides.
Retaining Space: A huge benefit of being on the team is that you can dropyour guard to the point where you don't worry about being strict in terms ofwhen he sees you. When he's trying to make the team, there are no latenight booty calls, no meeting up at whore hours, or anything that disrespectsyour status as a classy lady. Once he makes the team, you can talk and hangout whenever you decide. Once you establish house date rules and train himto respect you, you're now allowing him to earn the spend the night (nosex) benefit. This can feel as if you're moving too fast on both ends, andthis is where you have to give and take. You give him the comfort of lyingnext to the sexiest woman on earth, but you have to take your time away aswell, to keep him from being comfortable.
There are seven days in a week. Never see a man that is only on yourroster more than three times in one week. How can you date Jason whenyou spend 5 days a week with Stephen? How can you maintain disciplineand observe Stephen outside the house when you're staying over everynight? Understand that everything written is to protect your heart, andincrease a man's desire! That means just like the post-first date step ofdisappearing on a man, the actual dating should be sprinkled in with enoughspace for him to miss you more than you miss him. Remember, men are bigbabies, they want you when they want you, and will pout and cry when theycan't get their way. Yet, it doesn't push them away, it brings them in closerif they legitimately want you beyond the sex lust feeling. It's Friday, go ona date, spend the night, leave in the morning and don't talk to him untilSunday. Where were you at? What were you doing? It's none of hisbusiness. He can ask you, but you don't answer with specifics because he'snot your man. What this does is drive him to what? Regain Control!Pay attention, I told you that men need control. They want a womanoff the market once they realize they can't control her by just dating andtalking big. So many women give men "Exclusive but not official"relationship statuses after a month. Meaning these typicals take themselvesoff the market because they like a guy. Yet it's not a real relationship, sowhy would any self-respecting woman think of dating as exclusive? Youdon't become his until you officially become his, which means you can popin and out of his week when you feel. This space creates an obsessionwhere he will need you, and that need will lead to him asking you to be his,fast and in a hurry. Alternatively, you may meet a man who tries to outsmartyou by playing the same game. He won't answer your calls as consistentlyor he may try to pull your same disappearing act in an attempt to put you incheck. This isn't a "two can play that game," hustle, so you must reverse iton him.
No Selling is the art of not internalizing someone's fraudulent movesor attempts at reverse psychology. He disappears from Tuesday untilThursday, doesn't respond to your daily texts, or return your routine calls,and you know it's because he feels powerless. You made him feel weak, sohe is trying to fight fire with fire. The problem is yours is Phoenix fire, hisis a fucking Bic lighter. This man is trying to make you obedient, but youdon't sell it by acting mad, getting an attitude, or making it an issue thatneeds to be corrected. You "No Sell" it by acting as if you don't mind himliving his life. When he does call, you keep it real and tell him you misshim. Share all the stuff you wanted to talk about. And you two can go outon another date to catch up. There is no passive aggressive, "Look whodecided to use his phone today," or attitude filled, "Oh that's how we do,okay, I got you." Control those weak bitch reactions and don't sell anytypical emotions. What this does is show him that you can't be mind-fucked. You like him, but you aren't hanging on his dick and chasing him.While the other women he's fucking may have to call over and over, andrush over to fuck him because they fear him losing interest, you NO SELL.By being unflinching in your control, you become even more of a must-have.
To recap, once a man becomes a member of your team, he getsbenefits like house dates and meeting your friends. The longer he staysaround, he earns deeper benefits like spending the night and you offering topick up a dinner bill once and awhile. Nevertheless, you retain your powerby knowing that he can be cut at any time. If you agree to one house date,and he wants to keep it that way all the time, then he didn't learn. If you areover his house and he won't stop trying to overstep his boundaries sexuallyor "chill," doesn't make him take his hands off of you, then that's Cosbydangerous, and he has to go. If you take him around your friends and he'sacting like an asshole or trying to flirt with one of your friends, then youexpose the dog in him. If you go around his friends and he fronts as ifyou're invisible by ignoring you or if he pretends that you two are fuckingor together when you aren't, then he's a fake. All of those things get himcut off no matter how much you have been enjoying him over the pastmonth.
A month into dating is when the true him begins to pour out more andmore. His true attitude, his jealousy, his selfishness, his loyalty and whereyou rank in comparison to other women he may be dating. Don't beunderstanding of a man after this point. Anything he's showing you is nolonger a representative, this is the real him. That means you have to be nononsense in what you will and will not stand for going forward. If you lethim yell at you, he knows you're the type of woman who can be bitch-checked. If you allow him to pop up at your placed unannounced, you sethim up as above the rules. If you ignore him talking to other women in frontof you, he sees that you're a pushover. If you let him cancel dates and blowyou off for his friends, then he knows you're okay with being on the backburner. If you give him the power to make you his girlfriend before you'reready or lure you into a situationship where you two are "seeing where itgoes" then he knows you're a fool. Keep your eyes open! Being on theroster means that you are lifting the sanctions enough so that a man givesyou a sneak preview of himself as a boyfriend...but it does not make himyour boyfriend. In the end, you may be falling in love with this man, butyou cannot fall head over heels and think of him as irreplaceable or evenspecial. He remains on the chopping block.