Wish... think about that word. If you're blowing out birthday candles, it'ssaid with hope and excitement, but when talking about adult relationships, itloses that magic and takes on a melancholy uncertainty. I searched myinbox for "wish" and there it was: I wish he would listen to me. I wish hewould tell the truth. I wish he would let me go. I wish I could move on. Iwish he would realize how good he's got it. I wish he knew how it feelswhen he treats me like this. Hundreds of women making despondentwishes, but the most common phrase that had been sent to me-- I wish Inever had sex with him.
The reality that keeps younger women clinging on to their virginityand older women running towards the protection of celibacy is that sex israrely looked back upon as a good decision when you're a female. This isn'tabout sex horror story, embarrassments, or laughable dick strokes. Theregret that women feel is that of wasting an intimate experience with a manwho never deserved it. The paranoia this creates becomes which man wantsher for her versus which man wants her for pussy. Men lie about theirintentions as effortlessly as a dog shits on a lawn. There is no guilt; whenmen chase sex, the ends justify the means. Which means you can't expectmales to be honest, you have to demand that you be smarter. If the next manI sleep with doesn't end up being my husband, then I failed. That insanepressure can make the strongest woman revert back into just another weakbitch. A Spartan doesn't devolve, she understands that sex pressure is easilyconquered when you erase the fear of being played, and embrace the truththat no dick alive can outsmart a woman who sees through the smokescreenof male lust. Sex shouldn't be a prison, it should be an act that you are ableto master and control.
Chess Not Checkers
You can't reset your body count back to zero. You can't pretend penetrationnever happened. You can't disqualify him as never having you the sameway a 6-year-old yanks the power cord from a video game when he screwsup. It's already been saved! No matter what repressive technique you use tokeep your sleep number lower than the real number of men who have beeninside of you, the truth remains. No matter how big or small, fast or long, ifyou had an orgasm or went to sleep unsatisfied, that man can still say thathe had you, and at what emotional price? This isn't bad sex versus goodsex, it's about what sex means to you. No matter how much of a free-spirityou are or how sexually liberated you think, this is where you have todecide if you want to throw pussy like a college girl simply looking to havefun or maintain pussy power like a Queen intending to reveal a King.Virgin, prude, ho, reformed ho, church girl, Anastasia Steele, it allcomes back to you understanding that your pussy can no longer be givenaway for kicks. No matter how cute a guy is, that orgasm won't feel anybetter when he's pulling up his pants, walking out, with no intention to callagain. Fake-tough women proclaim they fuck like men, no emotions, just anut, it's a lie. You know you deserve greater. The universe was created foryou to reach the highest level of happiness, to become indescribablyspecial, not to be a piece of pussy. You wanted him too, he was just a dick,it's not that deep, blah blah blah...those days are over. A Spartan doesn'tsell herself for a thrill. That momentary feeling of a man inside of you,pushed up against your body, telling you things he doesn't mean just so hecan cum harder, is a cheap high. Experiment, experience, excite yourself,that's healthy when you're in the cocoon, but you were never meant to livein cheapness! Evolution demands change, and it starts with sex value. Whenyou started this journey you were asked what you wanted. You continued toread, that means you chose something serious. Therefore, sex becomes themost serious aspect of dating. Typical bitches fuck to feel momentary lovebecause they know a man will never truly love them. Basic bitches brag andboast about how good their vagina is because that's the only substance theyhave to give. In the end, sex is honey not glue, it may bait a man in, but itwon't make him stick around.
You are a Spartan. Your pussy is gunpowder, the most game-changinginvention in this world. Weaker women want to know how you developedit, and thirsty men will tell you anything to steal it. The days of regrettingwho you fucked, regretting a drunken hookup, or being talked into arelationship just because a man wants to lower your guards, are over. Nowoman reading this will ever WISH that she never had sex because the nextman you have sex with will have earned it. I am not a proponent of celibacypacts or women who keep their virginities into their late twenties. I've metnumerous girls like this, and the majority are fear based individuals who dothemselves more harm than good by making sex a burden. This isn't about"I can't afford to add another body to my list," bullshit. This isn't about"Sex complicates things," cowardice. This is about control.
So many women walk around as if having a vagina is a briefcase fullof money, and they don't know who to trust and who to run from. Yourpussy is priceless, that doesn't mean you covet it like some paranoidbillionaire afraid to let people in. Sex feels good for a reason because you'resupposed to have it! I want you to have sex, not because he will put a ringon it, but because the man you are dating unlocks the code romantically,physically, and spiritually. When a man hits all three sparks, on top ofpassing these dating steps, then he has climbed a hell of a mountain. That'swho deserves to sip from your pussy, a fucking Jedi. Spartans can respecttheir bodies and scratch their itch, but they do so in route to the biggerconquest. Understand that sex at this level should be chess, not checkers.You can't think about the day after, you have to think about the year after. Isthis a man who shows the signs that he could build a dynasty with you, orjust someone who's cool for now? You don't need three dates, 90 days, orany arbitrary line in the sand that determines when to spread your legs, allyou need is Spartan intuition and direct proof that a man has what it takes tonot only make the team but become the only player.
You Don't Need a Title
The default safeguard is wait until he is your boyfriend to have sex. Thisproves that his intentions are legitimate and that he wants you for you...intheory. Let's put that theory to the test and look at sex from the male POV.Why do men date? To charm a woman into having sex. Forget the crapabout how he wants to take it slow because sex ruined his last relationshipor how he is more concerned with building a friendship. If he has a dick, hewants sex, and he knows it. Sex does not ruin a relationship for a man, thoseannoying women who become too clingy afterward ruins it for him. Overemotional or erratic behavior that comes after sex is introduced willmake a man leery, but it will not make him abstinent. Men aren't allraging hard-on's that are waiting for a green light. A man who can get sexon the regular, can afford to be patient. This patience isn't born out ofwanting to be your friend first because he thinks you're special, it's abouthim seeing how you act over the course of these dates to determine if youremind him of those women that have proven to be easily dick whipped.When you date like a Spartan you extinguish a man's "she's crazy like thatlast girl," worry.
Let's detour for a minute and talk about dick whipping. The conceptthat a man has such a good penis stroke or foreplay game that a woman getshooked is bullshit. The feeling of good sex makes you want to do it again,but it is not addictive in a way where it chemically forces a woman to stepout of character the same way a crack addict transforms mentally. What'sgoing on is a physical trigger built on an emotional response to a manmaking her feel good in a way that's rare. If a woman is lacking in thefather area, and a man is dominating her sexually in a way that makes herfeel loved, wanted, safe, then sex becomes tied to filling that emotional holethat Daddy left, it isn't just the physical release. If a woman doesn't feelbeautiful or has a history of being made to feel subpar in terms of looks, sexwith a man that goes above in beyond completes her. Sucking toes,rimming, a constant stiff dick that never gets soft, signifies that he trulyfinds her attractive. That dick turns her ugly duckling mentality into a swanswagger, and that makes this man seemingly irreplaceable. Again, we'redealing with what he does to her mental hole, not inside the physical.I once talked to an older woman, around 40, who said she was dickwhipped by a man who was sixteen years younger. As we broke down herobsession with this young man over the course of a few weeks, I finally ledher to uncover what was going on. It wasn't the orgasm because sheadmittedly only reached climax twice, and only during oral. Her addictionwas, that as a divorced woman who lived with a man who never saw her asexciting or desirable, the energy that this boy was putting into her was newand fulfilling. He wanted to go multiple times a night, he let her be incontrol and lead him, he was spontaneous, aggressive, eager, all traits thatshe had never experienced before with a man. She didn't need to cumbecause emotionally his behavior was enough to elevate her to cloud nine.What was supposed to be a fling to knock the dust off, turned into herstalking this kid, chasing off other women, and eventually ended after shespent the money she was saving for her daughter's high school graduationparty on getting her boy toy's car repaired. She hit rock bottom, but stillcraved him. This was not a dick being insanely good, this was a womanbeing insanely empty. There is no such thing as being dick whipped, it's allmental. Men, even with Dirk Diggler sized egos, know that a woman inemotional need can lead to a headache, which is why they could be slow toengage in sex even when you want it. For guys who don't need a female topay for car repairs, loan money, or offer a place to live, getting a womansprung isn't worth the annoyance. It's not the sex that ruins things, it's thewoman attached to the vagina's emotional stability that he's worried about.Now that you understand this, you can see why a man could bewaiting to see if you show signs of insecurity and instability. Even before heputs his penis in you, he wants to feel as if you aren't acting clingy or tryingto smother him. If you do those things just off of dating and kissing,imagine what will happen after sex? He waits, says he isn't worried aboutsex or doesn't go for sex, cool. But don't jump for joy and feel as if he'sdifferent from the more aggressive types, his patience reveals nothing. Let's go back to the idea of become official, then have sex because itproves true intentions. If a man asks to be your boyfriend and you agree,what does that really mean to him? It means that it's time to get serious.Seriousness means sex. You may not intend to have sex with him until sixmonths after giving him the title, but he doesn't know that. A woman takingon a boyfriend is a sign that it's safe to move to the sex stage, in the mind ofthe average man. It is not above a man to play along to see what beingofficial gets him, fast. If you are the type of girl that only has sex when in arelationship, then he's banking on hitting that within the week. If you were a boy, and a girl said she wanted to take it to the nextlevel, even if you didn't see her as girlfriend material, you would still see anopportunity to get what you came for, new pussy. Allow me to break downhow we men turn this to our favor. Instead of agreeing to be your boyfriend,he will make up an understandable excuse, something that he needs to getdone before he can agree to commit. This is rejection without rejection. Tosay that he needs a little more time to get over his ex or needs to wait for thestress of his job or school to die down makes it about the situation, not thewoman. Your ego thinks, "he wants me too, it's just the wrong time." Inreality, it is about you not being what he wants fully. This is a calculatedrisk. Although you aren't going to be together, he has manipulated you intobelieving that you're on the same page. Therefore, when he tries to go forsex, what's holding you back? You admitted to wanting to take it to the nextlevel. He has admitted to feeling the same. You two will be together soon...or so you think. Most women have sex with a guy who is technically theirsbecause it feels safe, and the man wins. He no longer has to date you, norwill he have to enter into a real relationship. If you get dick whipped akaemotionally hooked, then you will keep busting it open for months maybeeven years, as a FWB while he keeps shopping for a Game Changer.
Alternatively, if he asks you to be with him first, you have to questionthe motive. Earlier, we went over how Cali shot Stephen down because sherealized it was a power play. Men can move fast in terms of making youtheir girl, not because they are lying about how they feel, but because theyare in lust and don't know how they truly feel. If you agree to a lust titlewithout asking yourself why he wants you so bad, you give into your ownegotistical need to be wanted. Once you give him that serious commitment,you will be pressured to perform girlfriend duties. You won't mind becauseyou are his girl, but by moving this fast, how can you tell if this is like thatleads to love or plain old lust that leads to a breakup?Once your pussy expires, meaning that months later after he's hadyou in every way, the novelty is gone, and that lust dissipates. He will beginto get stir crazy because your personality was never what he wanted, he wasjust filled with desire. Now, he either sabotages the relationship or growsapart from you. You should have dodged the quick lasso of a title, andwaited to see how he held up to dating. The vast majority of women are sohard up for a boyfriend, they rush in the moment he asks, not in Sparta!If you think like a typical woman then your thoughts may center on,"why waste his time when he doesn't want me when I know he can go getsex elsewhere for no commitment?" When a man is given access to newpussy, it's never a waste of his time. Our time is never squandered if wecum in some girl we've never had before. A man will never spend severalmonths having sex with a new girl, get broken up with, and feel as if hewasted his time unless he invested money he didn't have. His time was wellspent because he got something new out of it! That's how men view sex,it's always a win if he achieves that nut. Those other girls he can have sexwith, he either hit it already or got shot down. Newness is what men chase.The title of Girlfriend and Boyfriend is only as powerful as you make it, it'snot legal or binding on a physical level. Nothing will stop him fromdeciding that he needs to go because it was just lust, or make him treat youbetter when you threaten to take away that title down the line. A man canand will let a relationship die and not feel robbed because his investmentpaid off.
From a non-Spartan viewpoint, a female will see the title as finalproof that they are on the same page, and it's okay to have sex. I repeat, it'snot about the title. Once you reach the upper levels of Spartanhood youcould care less about "be mine" because you demand an actual effort thatspeaks louder than words. You must visually see and physically feel that heis already treating you like you are his before you are official. You mustwitness him investing so much of himself emotionally, financially, and timewise that it's safe to say that he's in too deep to leave after he gets sex. Aninvestor doesn't pour money and time into a business then walk away, theystay involved because it's a part of them by that point. That's how Spartansdetermine if a man is sex ready, over-investment, so let's move onto that.
Give Me Your Heart Motherfucker!
"Come Harder, This Won't Be Easy..." -King Bey
Don't say you want me, show me. That's the burden of proof that all menhave, and no exceptions can be made. Showing you is determined by threethings, the first being Time Spent Creatively. Once you break into the post-third date world of him making your team, his efforts should increase, notlevel out. How much time is he putting in to talk to you about non "can Isee you" topics? Any man can put in the effort to see you when he is tryingto get his dick wet, but in terms of calling you during a normal boringweekday, how active is he in chiming in with a creative conversation thatcontinues to keep you hooked? In terms of continuing to date at a high levelnow that you have introduced the possibility of house dates, what has heshown? Is he still interested in going outside with you to show you thingsthat he loves and treat you to things that you love? Is he being as romanticor creative as week one, or is he content with indoor chilling and grabbingtakeout? Why would a woman who's looking for something real agree tofuck a man who is merely doing the bare minimum? Yes, you will enjoythose basic talks about how much he wants you and how great you are aswell as the nights on the couch with his arms wrapped around you, but thatisn't exertion. If he were to have sex with you based on that effort, howinvested would he be in actually building something real? Even if a man istechnically your boyfriend and that's the routine, he's still on easy street.Flirting with you on the phone--free. Telling you how much he's starting tofall for you--free. Snuggling up on a lazy Sunday--free. Taking you to themovies to see a movie he was going to go see anyway--free, not in terms ofmoney, but in terms of EFFORT.
The currency of true love is undeniable time and effort. If a man doesnot show that on his own, then it reveals how he feels. This isn't about thedemands you use to make him take you out or the tricks you can use to leadhim to put in more effort. You did your job by dating like a Spartan, youinterviewed him, opened him up, showed him how you expect to be treated,and rewarded him with a deeper level of intimacy. For a man to settle intocomplacency a month or two into the process is the revelation that costshim his spot on the roster. Far too many women lead a man during thedating process. Now is the time to take off the training wheels and see ifhe can King Up on his own. Stop suggesting things to do, stop droppinghints, and allow him to take the ball and run with it. If you continue to planromantic outings and come up with unique date ideas, then the actualrelationship will be an extension of this lazy ass effort. Do you want to bejust another typical that has to make her man take her places, only getsflowers on occasions, and has to remind him of date nights, or will youdemand a man that reaches that level of independent effort before the title?Sex isn't given to men who put their feet up, it's given to those men whocontinue to work and show you value without reminders.
The second sign that you have genuinely won a man over isAggressive Pursuit. You aren't going to fall for the "We go together," powerplay during the first few weeks when honeymoon butterflies and new dicklust is at an all-time high. However, even if you tell a man he's moving toofast, his effort should continue to be that of a full court press. This is whatmakes a Spartan a Game Changer, a man will not take "No" for an answerin terms of locking her down. That's the hustle you want! Michael Jordandidn't make his high school team, so what did he do? He worked harder!This man isn't dating you for his health, he's trying to win you overbecause he recognizes something special. Unlike those thots that chase dick,give into fast titles, and sell their pussy for the right to be called his, youchallenge a man to fight for the right to be called yours.
You need to see that he feels a certain way that he can't have you. Thefact that you are still living a life outside of him should piss him off. Thefact that you do go a day without talking to him should frustrate him. Theidea that you aren't exclusively dating him should make him jealous. Noneof these feelings should be thrown in your face with anger or pettiness, butthey should come out naturally. You will always know when a man wantsyou seriously because he pouts and gets into moods when you pull rank.Your old instincts have been to be up under a man that wants you up underhim or to make an agreement that you won't see anyone else as long as hedoesn't. That weak shit doesn't exist in Sparta.
By continuing to reserve your dating rights and taking breaks fromseeing your friend, you force him into an emotional corner where few menare used to being. Males love control, they don't like the idea of a womanhaving power over him, but you need to see this struggle. If he can't expresshimself, don't be brutal and cut him off, a Spartan opens her mouth. If yousense that he wants to be with you, ask him if that is the issue. Be forward,not passive. A real man will open up to you, especially given yourcommunication history, and at that vulnerable moment, he will confess thathe wants you. This doesn't mean you agree to be his, it means that youreward him with your own feelings. That you're falling for him too, but notready. Emphasize that you aren't scared of being hurt or dealing with trustissues, you are merely enjoying the process until you feel 100%. It isimportant to communicate this. A man who feels as if a grown woman isafraid to commit will lose respect. How can he trust a girl who still believesthat he will do her like some ex once did? You are a Spartan, trust issues,daddy issues, commitment phobia, are non-fucking-existent. The onlyreason you are taking your time is because you want to pull him apartmentally and get him to over-invest so that he can't live without you. Thattakes time. Don't hold back, express your feelings that you want him sohe's not assuming you are playing a game, but internally you are on thissecret mission...you must remain un-exclusive until after you finish vetting.
The final proof of worthiness is Shared World Companionship. Beingfriends is extremely important. A friend isn't someone you are getting toknow, talking to, and laugh with occasionally. Friendship is created throughmutual interest and sharing of views, ideas, and secrets. A true friend fallsin love with your soul, not the surface of your personality. Why would aman see you as a friend, and not just some girl, only three to four weeksinto dating? Because a Spartan brings a fire into his life that he can'tduplicate with other people. You have a viewpoint his other friends don'thave. You grow him in ways he can't grow himself. In response, hebecomes invested in your life as well as you remaining in his. To lose youwould be to lose the one person he can call and vent to about a certainsubject. To lose you would mean he won't have anyone to go to that placethat you two discovered and fell in love with. To lose you would mean thathe no longer has someone who gets those particular jokes that only you getor understands those wild ideas that only you understand. Any woman canbring him pussy and jokes, but what you bring are intangible feelings,reactions, and opinions no one else can replicate. You are priceless!Spartans aren't fake deep, their depth is natural because theycommunicate in a real way, and their personalities aren't hindered by fear of"I don't want to say something offensive or ignorant." Spartans speak theirminds to those that earn the intimacy of their conversation. This isn't aboutsexual chemistry or some honeymoon false high, the proof of yourfriendship is in how you two can hang inside or outside without sex comingup. Can you go places and enjoy the silence of each other's companywithout the physical affection? Can you two debate passions withoutcatching attitudes when the opinions defer? Companionship is needed forany relationship to flourish, and by dating like a Spartan, you bond on alevel few people reach. In the end, ask yourself is this man treating you likea friend or just a chick he wants to fuck? Are you the first one he calls whensomething crazy or funny happens, or do you hear about it later on? Areyou invited out only for dates or does he bring you into his hobbies andinterests outside of romance? Does he bug you like a little boy bugs hisolder sister, because he wants her attention, or is he still trying to play itcool and mysterious? This man should want to make love to you but alsowant to be up under you like you're Ash and he's Pikachu.
Time Spent Creatively. Aggressive Pursuit. Shared WorldCompanionship. If a man doesn't meet all three, then he doesn't get you.No matter how nice, fun, or sexy he is. Earning sex isn't about seeing if helasts 90 days, remains sweet and affectionate, offers a title, or spends moneyevery week to court you. Any Dick can wait three months and behavehimself if pussy is coming. Any Dick can call you every day and tell you heloves you if pussy is coming. Any Dick can buy you a plane ticket, set aromantic weekend, and bust it open in a hotel. Any Dick can agree to beyour boyfriend! None of those things that makes a typical bitch's heartflutter dents a Spartan. You need to see deep proof that this man not onlywants you but needs you in his life. He must achieve all three of theseprerequisites, and then you will know it in your essence that he has climbedthat mountain and earned the best pussy he will ever experience.